The wind is a bit of a bother. But if you have a full-face helmet, not only will you look super-macho but you will get the full benefit of the smoke. Heck, you can even get a laugh for yourself by smoking outside a public building with one of those 'no smoking within 3 metres' signs. Have a cigar.
It is a modern accepted fact that a woman can do anything she wants, especially if it f'eels good'. And no-one is permitted to stop her or even criticise her. She can 'follow her heart; or be 'swept up' in passion. She can 'explore her erotic multi-faceted nature'. With whomsoever she wants.
So, equality would mean a man can do the same. Shirley?
Further, telling the spouse about it would only cause him/her to object. That is already declared to be 'abuse'. 'Controlling'; 'Restricting outside friendships'; 'criticising'; 'emotional violence'. etc etc. So you would simply be instigating an occasion of abuse and therfore a felony.
I am inclined to say '2' but a feminist would then be inclined to call me an oppressive pig for foisting a patriarchal linear concept on her, despite my not knowing her from a bar of soap - not that one would see them together.
Yes
You do not have to ask as a good psychic has already foreseen your question and is on her way around to your home. Have the kettle on and a bed made up, as she will stay for at least four years living off you.
Did you send this question via;
snail mail;
carrier pidgeon;
a chap with a cleft stick?
A Hunky Dory.
Ahha. This is one of the good uses of Coca Cola.
You empty 4 litres of Coca Cola into a bowl or sink or bucket and immerse your head in it. DO NOT try to pull the gum out. Then stand outside in the sun.
Whilst your hair is drying, flies will eat the gum.
According to the Irish Wikipedia, you use an air gun. (BB gun). Shoot them as they appear. Practice first so you do not miss.
About 200 years.