Well there will be if you keep drinking rot gut.

All my uncles are dead, at least I hope they are we buried them, so I can`t really help you with your homework.

Depends on how much sherry you get her to drink, wink wink ,nod nod.

I heard about a girl behind the counter at the airport being harrased by a very nosy man. He said I :I have to get on this flight now"

"Sorry sir I am doing the best I can but there are people before you" she replied.

"Have you any idea who I am" the man shouted.

Cool as you please the attendant picked up the microphone "Attention please, attention please there is a gentleman at check in 6 who does not know who he is. If anyone in the terminal can help would they please come to check in 6"

A typical example of someone trying to turn a person into some one else than what they are.

The old story a woman gets married and spends ten years changing her husband only to say "You are not the man I married"

Must confess I have no idea how you in the USA choose your candidate .

It appears a real balls up to me, you vote to see who you are going to vote for.

In Australia the parties nominate a candidate for the various  areas and the people vote on the one day for the person or party they feel is the best.for their own area.

Let me tell you about people power as of last Saturday in Queensland Australia.

Our two major parties are Labor and Liberal National Party.

The Labor Party have been in power for 20 years, here you stay in until you are voted out,  Seems fair to me, if you are doing a good job why change things just for fun.

We have our elections every three years and it is compulsory for everyone over 18 years old to vote.

The parties elect the leader and other "officals" treasurer, police minister etc.

Well the labor party went mad over the last couple of years sold State owned Railway system, sold land that was State owned pine forests sold the state owned water system and every bloody thing else to try and get themselves out of the red. (Deficit)

 Last Saturday in our State election Labor got 7 out of 84 available seats in parliament.

Liberal Nationals got over 70 and the rest went to a few minority "Rat Bag" groups.

We the people of Queensland said "Enoughs Enough" p--s off, it is the greatest defeat of any government since forever.

 The leader of the party former Premier Anna Bligh , she actually held her seat, has since  resigned that seat and accepted the blame for the dismal showing her ruling party received.

This is a system of democracy  in its` truest form and people vote on performance so people power wins.

Don`t become complacent with your ability to change things because if enough want change you get change but sit on your hands and you will only get warm hands.

I think it is time to move to Glencoe Bulletman. This lot is getting to you.

She was only a jockeys` daughter but all the horse manure..

She was only a farmers daughter but you couldn`t get her back to the ground.

I was sitting in a chair on the verandah and called out to my wife.

"When I die I am going to leave everything to you"

She shouted back.

"You already do you lazy bastard"

I was feeling a bit down so I rang a "Help line" and got a answering service in Pakistan.

When I explained I was suicidal they asked me if I could  fly a plane.

I was in a pub in outback Queensland when the discussion got around to different fighting styles.

One said Ju Jitsu from China was his choice, another one said Kung foo from Japan.

Me, I said I preferred a pick handle from to back of the ute.

Little girl was drawing a picture and when asked what she was drawing she replied "A picture of God"

When told no one knew what God looked like she said "Well they will soon"

I went for a hot air balloon ride in Ireland but lost my way and as I could see a farmer in his paddock I called out "Where am I"?

He called back "You can`t fool me, you are up there in that little basket"