Bob/PKB
My 21 year old son wants to take his "college" fund (substantial) and move to Las Vegas with his fiancee. He feels that he can make $215/day playing Roulette and support the two of them very comfortably. While I don't want to discourage his plan, and I can't say "NO", it would be nice if he could see the potential for diaster. The money IS his, in stocks, which have done well and will continue to prosper. He would have to pay considerable capital gains taxes should he sell it. My young son is not a stupid man, but he is stubborn and wants everything to be just so (call it controlling). I have to be subtle, non-confrontational, and logical. I'm often none of those! (JK)HELP ME.
2/18/12: THANK YOU, EACH AND EVERY ONE WHO PROVIDED A SINCERE AND EMPATHETIC RESPONSE TO THIS QUESTION. YOUR THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS ARE MUCH APPRECIATED. sincerely, Bob/PKB
22 Answers
Shootah
Best answer!
Offspring are definitely hard to explain anything to at that age. So often they think they're smarter than anyone that ever went before them. Too bad he wouldn't take just a moment to really think about what the definition of gambling is!
Maybe you could at least be allowed to suggest a safeguard measure in this looming disaster. Perhaps something like reaching a certain point, and then making that the shut off, or only taking part of the money to see how things go. Unfortunate as it is, his view on the gambling is the same as those who found themselves addicted to gambling...always chasing that big turn in their luck, thinking they're not like anyone else.
I don't know what to say, other than perhaps you suggest he at least listen to the resources that might be found in Gamblers Annonymous, so that at least his awareness of the pitfalls be raised. So that he hears them from the mouth of someone else other than yourself. Sometimes it helps if a son hears it from someone other than their mother. I hope some pieces of this answer gives you some ideas.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
Colleen
"My young son is not a stupid man"
Based on the fact he wants to gamble a substantial fund away......
Well as you say, it's his money for now until it becomes the casinos money.
Lesson learned when he has to move in with mom because he's broke and has no home.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 19 | |
I agree with everything you've said except the last sentence.
Ducky
So your son has found a way to beat a casino? I always thought that casinos were in the business of "taking money" from gamblers, not allowing them to "make a living" by playing. Your son should do some serious research on casinos and how they operate and why they are referred to as "a dirty business". The only people who should feel free to go to a casino, are those who are looking for a little entertainment and who wish to spend their money there, as opposed to going to dinner and a movie but....taking your college fund to a casino? Expecting that stocks will continue to prosper? My prediction: Out of money in less than 6 months! Then? Sorry Bob, but your son is not mature enough to understand the consequences of a very bad decision. And you can't say NO because......???
| 12 years ago. Rating: 16 | |
I can't disagree with you.
Daisy!
21! NO! it was to hard to maintain that fund for him to blow it on gambling. Yes, it's his money, for COLLEGE.
Cut a deal with him, two years of trade school, so he will learn something. Then he can do whatever with the rest. That way he can get a job when he is broke! You saved that money for a purpose, to benefit your sons future. Gambling isn't a benefit. What happens if he has a gambling problem later?
That money had a purpose, don't forget that. He has immature ideas, don't let him throw his future away and live with regrets. It's a horrible lesson.
If someone offer me money if I went to school for two years, I'd jump on it!
If he can not be reasoned with, he is to immature. Try again next year, maybe he will be wiser.
Does he work? How long has he held down a job? Does the girlfriend work?
From what you wrote, I see a willful child, living in a dream world.
Protect him and his money. If he asked you for the money to buy drugs.......gambling is the same thing to me. It's blown money and it's dangerous. There are predators out there that prey innocence. He will be out there alone with a girl, as naive as he is.
He sounds more like 16 than 21. This is not a responsible person starting a life for him and his girlfriend. Does he know how to live within his means? Can he budget?
I'm taking this very hard. I was left alone at 16 with nothing. Maybe I'm not the best person to answer this question. I would have given anything to be in his shoes, don't let him blow it.
All the best.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 15 | |
Yes, his fiancee works, and my son has been a caregiver for 3 years. It is very emotionally difficult and demanding work. I understand him wanting to do something else.
There's so much I can't write here....
My parents worked very hard for nearly 50 years so my sister, our children, and I would have a good cushion. I am the only one who has tried to make it on my own. You ARE the best person to answer my question, because you KNOW what the other side of the coin looks like. THANK YOU, Daisy.
FISH-O
... Are you sure he's not just joking?
... I have just looked this up and apparently there are professional Roulette players out there. Who knew?
... Your son must have figured out a system.
... Make sure that your guest bedroom has fresh sheets.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 14 | |
He has been working on a system, studying, and practicing. He won't be going into this unprepared, just naive, like Colleen said.
I sleep in the guest bedroom! That's where the bed is. :D
jhharlan
I once saw an interview with a potential gambler as he was going into the casino. He was asked if he expected to win and he replied, "Nobody comes to Vegas to win". I think this is true. How to tell your son this is beyond me. All I can suggest is that you give it some time without giving in, maybe he'll come around............
| 12 years ago. Rating: 13 | |
Jenn
lewboy
Ann
Bob, Casinos exist because they have to make money of people gambling. Most people go there for fun and not to make money. Your son is very lucky to have money in stocks, but i am afraid it wont be for long, if he goes through with his plan. You and your Ex really need to tell him what to expect in Vegas and try to talk him out of it..Its not a safe place to go and many people become addicted to gambling. Dont let him go!
| 12 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
facebook
Bob! this is bad new, I don't know anybody making money out of Casino, it usually the other way around, Now I do know people that lost all their life saving and their house by gambling. I cannot say what you should do about your son protesting your advice, However if he choose to do his way,it almost guarantee he'll walk out empty hand.not to mention his education out the door.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
witchway
Show your young son all the beautiful casinos in Las Vegas and ask him where all the money came from to build those casinos. The house normaly wins in the end. Just ask my next door neighbor who is losing thier beautiful house to foreclosure, she thought she could win also. It's a sorry road and Vegas is built upon it! It's not easy to say no but say no and stick with it. He'll hate you for it but that's to bad for him. He'll get over it eventually. Anyway, you'll be in good company with the rest of us parents whose adult children get mad at them. Good luck and you have my support Bob/PKB.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
doolittle
OK the three guys who actually beat the casino were MIT graduates! They figured out a system and decided to see if it would work...of course, these "kids" had graduated from one of the most difficult math and science curriculums US universities had to offer. These "kids" were brilliant to begin with. Here is an idea..tell him if he does not use it for college you will save it for his kid's education. I like the idea of a trade school too. (oh, and by the way, how much $ does he need to spend at the casinos each day to yield winnings of $215/day?? Does he know he has to declare his winnings to the IRS? Or does he plan to cheat both you and the Gov't out of $)???
| 12 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
fjoel
nomdeplume
The only game in which you can beat the house is blackjack and then you have to count the cards. The house will soon realise he is a card counter and ban him. Surely he could gamble in his spare time until he either beats the house or gets banned.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
ed shank
clu
Where does your son think he is going to live in Las Vegas? $215 a day is really not much money considering the price of things there. Also , the only money makers in a casino are the owners of that casino! Gamblers Anonymous is for people who think they have a problem. I don't think your son feels he has a problem. It might help you (when he falls on his butt with no money) explain to him why he is broke.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
mycatsmom
If it's in your name, don't give it to him to play roulette. Tell him Las Vegas wasn't built on winners. Tell him you'll give it to him to buy him a car, or help him buy a house after he lives in an apt out there and is gainfully employed. If it's in his name, there's nothing you can do to stop him from taking it. It it's in both your names, you shouldn't sign it away to him untill after he gets an apt and a job out there.....a non -gambling job. Serious gamblers usually lose house after house and car after car and lose many jobs.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
valR
You got already realy good and very well expressed advice. Good luck!
I just want to say how sorry I am seeing the problems you continue to have with your offsprings...
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Would he be OK if you tell him you seeked advice from unbiased friends and show him the results?
Even assuming he has a system to win at roulette, it will not be long before the casinos find this out and he will be banned. As I said earlier, he should use his system in his spare time not give up his job. If he is clever why not play poker? At least that is a game of skill where he can use his intelligence to win money.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
bluesman1951
10 years I lived in Vegas ,the one true thing is a fool and his money are soon parted . Even without gambling the city changes you and you may not enjoy the new you . Relationships are big causalities and bright eyed happy people often leave broken and bitter . A lamb ,heading into a sea of sharks . New suckers arrive every day with pockets full of money thinking they have a brand new never tried fool proof game to try on Vegas . LOL You can see all their possessions in the local pawn shops while they live in ever worse conditions ,maybe even down by the tracks . The women end up working in the strip clubs (they tell themselves "Just for a little while " ) Never turns out well ,once you have traded or sold your dignity whats left ?? When you are begging money for your Grey Hound ticket out of town Ill bet my last dollar you are still lying to your self saying with a few more dollars I could have made it > They all do !!!!!! Bad idea this scheme . Bill
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
hector5559
