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    I don't have a question,I'm just so depressed...But I want you all to know what a bunch of wonderful people you are.

    I did at last find a job,but I do know it's not going to work out,I feel so dumb at something I've been doing for 30 years,I just know I'm not going to make it at this place.Not that I'm going to quit,I won't have to do that,they'll get rid of me 1st.My home life sucks,my car is 20 years old and I feel like I'm useless.At 57 years old I'm so fed up with life I just don't know what to do.I remember Bob telling me there's two sides to every story,well not this one,I've done every thing for this family over the past 24 years and now I'm treated like crap at every turn,I have no one to turn to,I'm so depressed right now I know I'm just rambleing on but I don't know what else to do.Good night to you my friends...

    +15  Views: 1681 Answers: 34 Posted: 6 years ago
    ROMOS

    Still out here mate if you want to talk..R.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Rick..A depressed person DOES NOT "get high" from taking anti-depressants! Yes it is a "mood elevator" but if you believe that, you have been misinformed. When you go to the doctor, (hopefully within the next few days), you need to seek information about depression and anti-depressants. Watching someone with a drug problem (prescription drugs too of course) is not easy but you will not become "dependant" on AD's!!!
    Darci13

    Rick I am in the same place you are but you are here for a reason and you hang on I try my best to remember that when one door closes God opens another better one. We care for you and you are in my prayers you hang in there.....

    34 Answers (1-30 Displayed)

    Sounds like your suffering from deep depression, go see your Doctor.

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks so much for your concern Dollybird,I don't know where I'd be without all of you on this site,I was up at 5:30am reading what everyone wrote before going to work and it bought tears to my eyes knowing some one cares,thank you so much,and yes I think I do suffer from deep depression,I don't have or been to a doctor in so many years it's not even funny,probaby should seek one.
    Dollybird

    ClevelandRick,
    Thank you for your reply. You are doing yourself injustice, by suffering alone, and not doing any thing about it. Please make appointment, and see your Dr. he/she, is only real person who can help you. Here, we can only advise you. Keep in touch.

    Rick...Often, depressed people feel  "permanently stuck" in their awful circumstances and that is just not true.  Changes can be made...with help. Your boss, unlike you, does not expect that you will know everything immediately.  What does he expect?  He wants his new employee to come to work with a great attitude, do his best job while at work, and eventually learn the job. As long as you are doing those things, you will have a job. You need some help to get through this severe depression that you are suffering.  Please listen to what everyone here is telling you.  Call your doctor, get in to counselling, get some medication...help is so available to you but you have to ask! 

    ClevelandRick

    I hear every thing you're saying Ducky.And you hit it right on the nailhead I do feel "permanently stuck",it's so hard sometimes to juggle a crappy home life and a new job but I'll hang in there for now,and yes I know I need help getting through this severe depression,we'll see about the medication but I see so many people on it just to get high it's such a turn off to me.Thanks so much for your input.

    Hey Rick, I,ve been where you are now, believe me when I say things will get better,one morning you,ll wake up and say to yourself " wow, I woke up " never expected that, then you,ll realise that the only way is up my man, be positive for you and your family, negative depresses everybody,not preaching to you ,but it worked for me, I,m doing f all at the moment myself but the positive is still there, keep safe ma man, you listening?..R.

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks ROMOS,I do try to stay positive but it's very hard most days,and yes I listen to all good people,thanks again...

    As written above, see a real shrink and get on meds. They'll see you through the rough spots and someday you won't need them any more. The world turns baby, sometimes good, or bad, bad, good , bad, bad, bad, good, good, bad. The world turns. Get on meds now!

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks jhharlan,never have been into the meds,thats part of my troubles at home,my wife loves those meds,to bad there not hers,it sets my ass on fire...And yea I know that world keeps on turning,I do hope not to fall off.

     Rick.....I know it is easier said than done, but try and pull yourself away from all this negative thinking, depression thrives on negative thoughts. Look at things more in a positive way.Have you considered taking some medication to get you through this rough patch ?

    ClevelandRick

    I do try not to let negative in but some how it finds it's way in one way or another,no medication yet.

    Ed is  100 % right. Its the state of our economy that causes hardship and frustration.and you are a victim as millions of other people are. Try some Vitamin B stresstabs. they will help to stop your thoughts from racing out of control for now. Try to be positve, despite all the hardship, for negative thoughts have negative consequences. It seems, our economy is slowly but surely on a rebound. Hang in there. Better days are coming!

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks Ann,hanging in there and so hopeing for better day's,I don't like taking pills but I might try the Vitamin B after all it's just a vitamin,thanks Ann very helpful.

    I felt a little bit like you, Rick just befoer Christmas , everything seemed to be piling up, i was lucky i took my three week break and it did wonders for me, i felt refreshed for 2012, you sound a far worse than me, hang in their mate and see a doctor.

    ClevelandRick

    Glad to hear you are feeling better and happy to see you back on here,I think I will see a doctor ( have'nt seen one since I was a kid),thanks so much for the input.Just some thing as simple as some one referring to me as mate makes me feel better,makes me feel like I'm not alone in the world...Thanks.

    I also went through years of depression several years ago and look at me now, couldn`t stop me with a bullet.


    See your doctor and get to a Psychiatrist, not a Psychologist a genuine died in the wool psych.


    I went for 2 years, took the meds and whoopee life came back.


    We all pulled for you in you search for a job and don`t you dare let us down.


    This forum is full of people who really do care about others so get off your backside and act.


     

    ClevelandRick

    I'll do my best not to let you all down,all of you are such good people,and you PEOPLELOVE I do so much enjoy your stories and pictures

    Rick, if you need to talk and just vent you can call me, my number will be in your e-mail. Hang in there and know you are not alone and you do have friends. 

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks Colleen you are the best,just might take you up on that offer.Big hugs for you...

    Dude, things are s*** all over. You didn't create this bad situation, your a victim of it. Your not the only one who feels this desperation nowadays. Relationships also become strained especially when finances become an issue. However well intentioned we all are, your still going to feel pain. Don't lose your inner self, if you weren't a descent and caring man, you wouldn't be feeling this guilt right now. You know when this FU economy turns around, your life will also take a turn for the better. I know it's easier said than done, but hang in there a little longer, accept what you have no control over. Whenever I encountered a situation I felt I couldn't get out of, I would say to my wife, in six months we'll look back on today and say "how did we get through that"?  I also have a car old enough to vote. Things will get better.

    Ducky

    Moderator
    It's amazing sometimes, looking back, that a person COULD get through it all...no wonder people are more "mellowed out" as they age!
    ed shank

    Getting old does suck, but you do mellow.
    ClevelandRick

    Thanks ed,trying to hang on to my inner self,that is every thing,I read all your answers,I like a person who shoots from the hip like you do.I may have to change some things but I too think things WILL get better.Again thanks...
    itsmee

    Rick,I like what people have to say here. (ed shank put a spin on his comment that I liked particularly) I think we ought to join an old car club or something. My car is “old enough to vote” too.

    Talk to God and tell Him, I know it works and He can change your mood and outlook, 57's not old (O, to be 57 again) they know older people can be more dependable. Talking to a doctor can't hurt either. Also eat healthy.


    Good luck and be positive.

    ClevelandRick

    I talk to God all the time,has helped me all my life,one thing I don't do is eat healthy,need to get on track with that.Thanks for your concern.

    Rick....sadly the famous words..."I think there for I am" really stand true in life. If you think you can't do something then it becomes real. Is there no way that you can set small goals to perfect one thing at a time with your job? Can it be a challenge rather than something you allow to beat you up. I am a single mom with two boys that don't appreciate anything I do no matter how much effort i put out to keep our heads above water. I know what it's like not to feel appreciated. About the car...so what if it's twenty years old...you could be riding a bike instead, you already have more than some people have. I'm 42 and still pay another mans mortgage, I could look at my job and feel I could have been more but instead I learned to like what I do and do it well. I have nothing really but the pride in who I am in life. The truth is that it's not what you have in life, it's how you went about getting it that makes you a good person. I know what you are saying about feeling like the future is bleak but it's always bleaker for someone else. There is much love for you on this sight and I'm glad you feel safe in reaching out to your friends. Thank you for letting me have the honour of holding you up. Much love and a long hug...Lora

    ClevelandRick

    And I thank you for holding me up,I would'nt want to be any where else but with you good people,thanks so much Lora and a big hug right back at ya.I've been reading about your hunt for your own home and I do hope it comes true for you.I'm sure your boys do appreciate you very much.

    Hang on Cleveland. Change your negative thinking. FOCUS ON YOUR JOB! You can doing.


    Help yourself and God will help you too.


     

    ClevelandRick

    I'm hanging on valR,barely but I'm hanging on.And I do focus on my job,and talk to my God many times a day,thank you so much for your answer.

    I know how you feel too, but like everyone says here try to be positive, look at other people there are thousands who feel the same. Life is really tough at the moment for most where ever you are, unless your are a rich banker or have worked in a job with a good pension at the end. If you have good health it's something to be positive about, just try to think life is never as bad as it seems. Good luck mate. 

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks sunnyB,trying to stay positive.
    millie111

    Hope you`re feeling better soon dear Rick!...Hang in there,as everyone says..people on here do really care about you...you know that!..I too "Know" depression,so I empathize completely!...I was on anti-depressants for a long time..and it made a big difference..(Nothing to be ashamed of)!...Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain which blocks the transmission of serotonin/endorphins..those"Happy hormones"!..Which keeps peoples` moods positive and stable..(I`m sure you know all of this..I certainly don`t mean it to sound patronizing)!:-Z...(I found running and exercise to be a great relief to me as it gets those endorphins flying)!...But I`d say get yourself a G.P...and get some help...meds/counseling,just start by talking to your G.P...(Age is just a number;-)..and the grass is always greener...those rich bankers Sunny is talking about...I live in an area surrounded by them..they are on the whole the most miserable bunch I`ve ever come across ;-)...O.K..they have money!..But o than that they have much the same problems,(If not more),than the rest of us;-)...So please get out there and get some help..I still get bouts of depression..but when I do..I know that they are going to be short lived..(Even thou it doesn`t feel like it at the time)!...And I know that help is at hand...So you are in my thoughts and remember that it DOES get better!..All the best..love and best wishes,Millie xx

     


    “Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.”


    Look for the silver lining, ClevelandRick. Good luck to you.


     

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks Chiangmai,what a wonderful saying,and I'm looking for that silver lining every day,thanks so much,all of you mean the world to me...

    Rick...I had to come back.  I know that you find it  impossible to "cheer up", "think positively", "change your attitude".  I KNOW THAT!!!!  You must get to a doctor, get on medication, get counselling and do it NOW.  Don't wait and keep struggling while trying to "be strong."  That will not work!  Counselling and medication are, in most cases, temporary measures and sooooooo very helpful, you won't believe it until you try it.   Do yourself the biggest favor ever....today!

    ClevelandRick

    Come back any time Ducky,always glad to hear what you have to say,you all are my family and proud of it.

    You know where I am coming from Rick... and everyone else here.  I know you can make positive changes.  Take everyone's good advise.


    xo Fishy

    ClevelandRick

    That's why I came here Fish Fry, I knew I could count on you all...Thanks.

    Hang in there, Rick.   And keep in contact with us. We've been wondering where you are----. at least I have been . For every negative thought  you have, turn it around into a positive thought. Just keep thanking God you have a job. You can look for another job while  you're working . It's always better to be working when you go to job interviews. It looks good Maybe you can go into business for yourself.  For depression, go for long walks. It helps mentally and phyically. Don't try to handle  your depression by drinking or doing illegal drugs. You'll just get more depressed and might wind up in jail.

    mycatsmom

    and dude, I've been in deep depression too, so I know how you feel.
    ClevelandRick

    Thanks mycatsmom,I don't drink or do drugs,so no worries there,and I've done my jail time to know better than to ever want to go back there.And I will keep in contact with every one here you all are about the only people I talk to any more...Love you all.

    Rick  ....there are some really heartfelt suggestions from your friends above.  This economy has a bunch of us in the dumps.   I know its easy to say BUT,  since your mind can only think of one thing at a time do your best to look on the light side.   You are better than you think you are.  In many cases we're our own worst enemy.  So keep your chin up.


    Best Wishes to you.

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks pioneer2,I know about the heartfelt suggestions that's why I came here you all are such wonderful people.My chin is up up up.

    Hey Rick,I know what it's like to have a bucket of shit thrown over you over & over again.But don't let 'em beat you mate. One thing that I have always said is "My sun will still rise in the East".Put your head down & your arse up & get stuck into your job.Give it everything & tell everybody else to get stuffed & cop it sweet. Get on with your life & stop worrying about everybody elses.

    ClevelandRick

    Good advice Tommyh,getting on with MY life.I have taken care of every one else but my self for so many years,and I'am trying to give my job every thing I got,just like today,as soon as I got home from work I got a beat down from my wife over silly sh*t,I just can't figure it out.Those bucket's of shit just keep on coming...
    Tommyh

    Just tell her to leave you alone mate.Turn your back & walk away.After a while she'll get the message.

    Oh baby.... I am so sorry.... I am right there with you... You are not alone..... xoxoxoxoxo....

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks Jenn,it's such a good feeling knowing I have all you good people to talk to.
    Jenn

    LOL... Dont know how good we are... But we got your back.

    Hi Rick!  Is this the job that you were worried about getting, and was asking for good luck on your interview? Now, you're worried about keeping it. Or, is this a different job? Either way, YOU GOT A JOB. I agree 100% with every word Umbriel said. You was hired because your boss felt that you can do the job. Now, you have to have confidence in yourself. Quit thinking negative. Think positive. Keep positive people in your life. I don't know your home life, but I believe everyone has felt unappreciated at one time in their life. Tell your family members how you feel.  You say you are 57 years old. You didn't mention any health problem. Do you have health problems that is keeping you from enjoying life? Well, I do and I'm not even 50. But I'm going to keep thinking positive. 


    Remember the saying: There is always someone worst off than you!

    ClevelandRick

    Hi chelleanne,no this is not the same job I was asking for good luck but in the same field (printing),no I don't have any health problems that I'm aware of but then again I have'nt been to a doctor in many many years.I do try my best to think positive but most times that negative thing has a way of creeping up on me.Thanks so much for your answer,you just don't know how much it means to me.

    Like Ducka I also am compelled to have another bite at the cherry.


    Do NOT feel ashamed to go to a pysch or take medication.


    When I was at the bottom of the "Black Hole" my doctor said "If you had a bad heart and I said to take these pills everyday will allow you to live a long life you would say I have a bad heart and this will help"


    The same applies to you Depression is a medicaly recognised problem and as such is treatable the same as any other medical problem.


    Got a tooth ache go to the Dentist.


    Got bad eyesight go to the Optomertrist.


    Got Depression go to, well you get the idea.


    This too shall pass.

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks PEOPLELOVER,you're a man of wisdom <(hope I spelled that right)

    Rick, You have a case of Depression. I know it all too well. I think everything has been covered by our friends at akaQA so all you need to do now is follow the advice. I think you start with your General Practioner and then they refer you to a Psychiatrist. 


    I see my Psychiatrist once a month for what they call Anxiety Disorder. After my first visit of about twenty minutes I continue on seeing him for a prescription. (He has to earn a living too) My Blue Cross doesn’t pay much of his bill but it helps. You gotta get to the doctor. 


    I hope you’ll stay in touch with us. You got a lot of good friends here. We all do.

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks itsmee,I will stay in touch and I know I have a lot of good friends here and you are one thanks again...

    It's trite to say "hang in there", but there it is, and I mean it (DON'T GIVE UP).  You DO have empathy, sympathy, and support from everyone here, so come often for that comfort. 
    It's not going to make you feel elated, but may I suggest you think about what is tolerable in your life....the car may be 20, but if it is getting you to work and back, you're better off than two of my friends who don't have any transportation. Your home life sucks, but you have a roof over your head for the time being (drive by some of the tent cities). As for the job....you HAVE one....you are on time and don't screw around on the clock. You're doing your best and improving. Is someone else beating up on you or are you just being hard on yourself?  (I do that sometimes).
    It is hurtful and frustrating and demoralizing to be in a relationship that has deteriorated as much as yours apparently has; your  self-esteem at an all-time low and wondering what the heck did I do (or not do) to deserve being treated like crap. Obviously, those people are pretty disappointed with themselves and using you as a scapegoat.  Consider the source.
    You are loved, Cleveland Rick. And you will survive.  But DO see a doctor about the depression, You are in my prayers (for what it's worth).   (Maybe you can set up a "chat" thing with some of the members here you feel you communicate with best. I'm sure any of us would be happy to have 1:1 with you.)

    ClevelandRick

    Thanks Bob/PKB,I've never given up on any thing in my life and you are right about the 20 year old car(at least I have transportation)and the roof over my head,I get that I really do.I have never missed work and always been on time in all my years in the work force,I get that to,it's just some thing about being in the printing field for 30 years and I'm at this new job and it's like I've never been in a print shop in my life.But I won't give up,they'll have to boot me out first,boy am I glad it's the weekend and I have a couple of days not to worry so much about this job,thanks for your answer,it really does mean the world to me,and you have your self a nice weekend.
    Bob/PKB

    :D Keep us up-to-date, CR. You know we are a click away! I have a new job, too, and am trying to do everything perfectly. Setting a high standard for ourselves means we are harder on ourselves than anyone else is. I hope this week will be a good one for you (and me, and everyone else!).

    My dear Rick I am so sorry you are depressed I havnt had such a good month but never mind its you that we have to get you back on the right track first of all do you know why you are depressed if you do that is a start you must see a doctor Rick and get on top of this before it eats you away you are in my thoughts and preyers please see a doctor bless you xxxx

    ClevelandRick

    I think it's life over all that depresses me,I take after my mom,she used to worry about every thing under the sun and I'm the same way,always have been and I don't think I'll ever change that.I'm the kind of person that will wake up during the night just to make sure my alarm clock is set right even tho I know it is,thank you for your kind words,and I'm trying so hard to get back on the right track.
    melandrupert

    ClevelandRick are you sure you arnt my Brother you sound so much alike he cant sleep if knows he has appointment the next day and worrys over the little things in life and is a depressive person I have to give him a pep talk to him now and again you must try and keep possitive and look at other people who are far worse off than you I wish you luck and hope you pull your selve together and see a doctor SOON oxoxoxox

    Lots of great advice from your online friends Rick! I always try to get out of the house and make sure not to isolate myself, this will help a lot. Also if you start working out that will help fight off depression as well. I think being active is the best advice I could give you, it's something that works for me.


    I don't care how your family treats you or anyone else, you a great person Rick don't forget that. I originally come from Ohio and it can be depressing in the winter, get out there and keep yourself busy. Hope you feel better soon and I will add you to  my prayers. Go out and do some things that make you happy. Take care...

    ClevelandRick

    Hi leeroy,hope you are doing well,yes I do work out and it does make me feel better.And you are right,these Ohio winters don't do any good when you are down already,thanks for adding me to your prayers I sure could use it right now,glad it's the weekend,hope I can ease up on my self for a couple of days,a lot of my stress comes from within,that much I do know.Peace be with you leeroy and thanks for your answer...
    leeroy

    Thanks Rick, I'm doing o.k., it usually depends on my perspective, Joel Osteen has a few really motivational books that encourage positive thinking you may want to check them out as well. I know they've helped me. Take care and God bless.

    Lots and lots of good advice ,I think you will take from it what is needed and the rest will fall to the floor. Now some small advice from me ,depression is a chemical thing so do some homework at the natural foods store find some herbs that elevate mood. Change your diet . No matter how bad things are for you ,someone on the next street over has it worse . No point on worrying about the job ,do your best and if it dont work out so what ! I am 60 with a life time of experience and the world has changed so much I feel like a moron with all the technology changes . So feeling overwhelmed is just a every day thing . No big deal ,fact is if nothing is on fire and no one is shooting at you ,its all good ,just a adventure . God is always hiring ,Just make yourself available and show up . He has a way of helping those on his team . I wish you good luck . A small word in parting  I have made my way with arts and crafts items for 25 years not once was a job a necessity . I did not have any money dont have a store ,all I need is a table, product and a crowd thats a business for me ,all it takes . I can pretend to be anybody I wish to for a few hours . No one knows you ,so who cares when you are selling if you are Bubba ,or any body else for that matter . Imagination is the key those who have it have a life of adventure  others have jobs each to their own .                     Bill

    ClevelandRick

    Always good to here from you bluesman,I like reading your words so much,nothing on fire and no ones shooting at me,so you are right it's all good.Yes the world has changed with all the new technology and I think thats what makes me feel like a moron,hell a cell phone drives me nuts,I wished I could look at life even half the way that you do,all the best to you with your arts and crafts trade and thanks again for your answer...Rick

    Rick,It may sound strange but I do know exactly what you are going thru with you wife.


    I'm terribly sad to say it mate but you are right,you will have to go to save yourself.


    I have seen first hand other relationships ruined by those bloody pills.


    I had a guy who worked for me whose wife would turn up at work & demand money & whatever from him which was very humiliating for him. She was very abusive & by the time he got home from work she was usually  zonked out on the pills.


    I do not want to put ideas in your head but that poor kid eventually took his own life.


    All that I can suggest for a happy outcome is what I have already said or try one last time to talk to her about getting some serious councilling.


    Good luck mate.I'm thinking about you.

    Dude, I haven't been here for a bit. I hope things are looking better for you. Stay focused, it will get good again.



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