10 Answers

Sounds like the two of you have had your share of difficult times. Perhaps he's just fed up. At your ages you should be relaxing and doing what you both want to do. The child is there now so you will have to make the best of it. Hopefully he will see things differently in a while. I think he will. Good luck.

12 years ago. Rating: 9
Comment this answer Add new comment

If you love me, love my children. Sorry to say...your marriage is in jeopardy!

12 years ago. Rating: 9
Comment this answer Add new comment

My Dear sharieyes.

There is nothing you can do. You are going to have to follow your heart and the Lord on this one. I am in the exact same position only I don't have custody of the grandchildren. My Husband tries to be encouraging and sympathetic but he just doesn't get it because he has no children of his own. We have been married 23 years and this subject has been around 23 of those 23 years. It will never stop. He will never change and neither will the love I feel for my grandchildren change.

I see an option or two. Divorce which I pray won't happen. Or, try to live with it. Or, get some help through your church. If you don't have one get one and I mean now. It may be the only support you get. Get the granchild into counseling. She will need it so she won't feel undeserving of Love. DO NOT allow your Husband to call her a loser, stupid, or a ruiner of his life, no name calling. I think with time he might learn to let go of his selfishness and start loving this child.

12 years ago. Rating: 8
Comment this answer Add new comment

I see it different though. One does not really know the reasons why he does not care for them. Friction in the past? Bad blood? Those boys are ADULTS now. Am sure there is more to it.

12 years ago. Rating: 8
Comment this answer Add new comment

My step dad who I called Dad made the decision to accept all four of us children because he loved my mom so much. He adopted us and was a real father to us. This is the real definition of love that I learned by his example, true love is unconditional. If he can't accept you with all of your children, then he may not be the right man. Other wise he may not be ready.

If he can't accept you and your children, then maybe he isn't the type of man that you need? Give him some time to make the decision, but tell him he must be all in, or he should consider the alternatives. If he truly loves you he will accept you and your kids. Hope this helps?

12 years ago. Rating: 6
Comment this answer Add new comment

I can understand him being done with supporting adult chilren. I think you should be done with that too.. Not your children but the support of them. As far as the grandduaghter.. I assume the mother is either no longer with you or is unfit. I would expect my husband to have an open heart for a child. IF there are other issues, as in, inlaws other grandparents, the mom.. I can see him not wanting to get in the mix. He has given to your children for the last 14 yrs. And he is not seeing them grow into young men he is seeing them stumble and fall, and asking you to pick them up.
You need to draw some lines when it comes to your children. Not cut them out but have lines.. Your huband will see that you are willing to work on both your marragae and your relationship with your children in a healthy way. This may help him see that he is need as an influence in the grand duaghters life.

12 years ago. Rating: 5
Comment this answer Add new comment

If he really loves you he would love anything that is connected to you...your granddaughter needs you,he needs to accept that,walking away from her for him would leave you in misery.Do what you know is right,and the rest will fall into place.God bless you!

12 years ago. Rating: 5
Comment this answer Add new comment

Keep your grandchild and give him the boot. Blood is thicker than water. What will happen to your grandchild if you push her out?

12 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

When I got married I was told that you inherit the good with the bad. Whether you like the inlaws or not, they are part of the bargain. He needs to realize this. What he is asking is that you forget that you have a family member. You can't do that and he shouldn't ask you to.

12 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

thats real sad u should not have to choose between them
he needs to give if he truely loves u and ur grown kids need to respect ur man

12 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment