11 Answers

Hey Hipster, You asked for a little humour. Here's a 90% clean one for you.

MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care,because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to lick my nuts and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

12 years ago. Rating: 6
Comment this answer Add new comment

Are you feeling OK now, stay calm and just use this site as a place to unwind but don't spend all day on here it won't help. We need your unique experience.

12 years ago. Rating: 4
Comment this answer Add new comment

I am glad you are staying. It would not be the same without you!
am sorry you are going through so much right now. We all need more uplifting Questions at times. I just ignore the ones that are trivial and bypass the ones that are too upsetting for me.

12 years ago. Rating: 3
Comment this answer Add new comment

I can't believe you were gonna consider leaving, just kidding I've been there, I think we all have at one point and time or more.

Who would I make pot jokes with if you left? Then I would be the only ex Floridian here, even though I live here again, I consider my self to be a Californian now. I don't know if that makes sense, but the surfing is much better there... Glad to see you sticking around!!! I think you at least got a smile out of that comment, maybe a chuckle.

You are an important member and one of my favorites, I sure hope you stay!

12 years ago. Rating: 3
Comment this answer Add new comment

I am so HAPPY that you are staying.. I concider you a friend.. and you would be greatly missed... I hate to hear the life is not treating you well. You are one of the good ppl and deserve every happiness. I love you! and as for humor.. I have a dirty joke for you.. wanna hear???? Two white horses fell in the mud... (knee slapper, I know)

12 years ago. Rating: 3
Comment this answer Add new comment

"Ahhh, Stay just a little bit longer". I always liked that song. Fits the moment.

12 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

Hipster my friend. Please stick around, we love your company. There will always be BS here, so we just need to view it (or not view it) as fertilizer. ((((HUGS))))

12 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

Ignore the silly stupid stuff you have been around here long enough to recongnise whats serious and whats a bunch of crap

12 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

No way Ole Hipster :( you considered leaving? Come on We love you, Number one is ME :D
But These kind of Questions is what makes this site a bit more interesting, i think, STICK around and answer only what you like? PWEAsssee ? We'd miss you HEAPS if you went away :(
Don't Even consider it Again, Okay ?

12 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

I agree with you Hipster.

12 years ago. Rating: 1
Comment this answer Add new comment

Sure.  How about a compromise?  Religion + Humor.

11 years ago. Rating: 1
Comment this answer Add new comment