Why am I so selfish?

    My brother moved in with my mom and dad to take care of them.. She is not well and he has cancer... I have been travling 6 hours every 2 weeks for the past 10 years to take care of them... Out of 6 kids plus 5 more step kids I have been the only one helping out until now) Now that he is there I just want to have a life.. My daughters last Feild day EVER is Thursday and they need me to come down Wed-Fri.. I DONT want to go... Why am I so selfish?

    0  Views: 787 Answers: 4 Posted: 12 years ago

    4 Answers

    I dont think you are selfish. You are overwhelmed with too much Responsabiliy. You need to ask all your other siblings to help with your parents care. You need a break to focuss on yourself and your family to stay healthy and you need to tell your other siblings so. Best of luck and god bless.

    Well at this piont is may be a mute issue.... I was outside getting my dog early this morning and a stick went into my eye... I cant drive like that...I cant do field day either. Teaches me to complain

    I am sorry it happenend. Do you need to go to see an eye Dr.? It did not happen because you complaint. It was just an unfortunate accident. Although in my experience, things always happend to me when I was the most stressed. Dont worry too much about field day either its not your fault you cant go. You really need a break and dont feel guilty about anything, You have done amazing things at your own expense.
    Ms Sinclair

    You have a right to complain. As Ann said the stick in the eye was just an accident. Don't be so hard on yourself. I don't know you personally but you seem like a very good person. Go a little easier on yourself, ok?
    Sometimes you just need to take a break. I don't consider it being selfish. Your daughters need their mom too. Since you have been the only sibling taking care of them on a regular basis for the last 10 years I think that it's perfectly alright for your brother to watch over them this week. Why don't you go to see them next week if you still feel bad about not going this time?

    I have to go next week too. It is moms birthday.. also the last day of school for my kids.. (same day) I have to go this week too... I am just not happy about it. My bro has to some appt out of town.. It is just really getting old that i am on call 24-7-365.
    Ms Sinclair

    That's not fair to you. Are there any other relatives who can keep an eye on them for just this week? If not, can you afford to hire a home care attendant for few days? It won't be a help to you, your parents, or anyone else if you get burned out.
    Ms Sinclair

    P.S- If you can't afford it maybe it's time to lay a little guilt trip on some of the other siblings who don't help out. You shouldn't have to do everything by yourself. Besides you and your brother they raised 9 other children. They should be held responsible too.
    i do not think you are being selfish we all need me time sometimes.......
    Very subjective question. Perception is everything. "Do unto others as you would them do unto you." Bible/Jesus quote.
    NOW for some reality. From your comments, I find it difficult to judge you as anything but selfish. You appear to be a very giving and generous person. Find some time to weigh who you really are and what you have given to those in need. Be less harsh on yourself. Become more tolerant of your emotions and accepting of your talents and history of giving. Write down/outline the history of your generosity and time away from your own family [daughters etc].

    Discuss this reality with your daughters and my guess is that they will express their love and understanding; acknowledging that Mom needs time for herself - which you do. Perhaps it is time to say enough is enough. PS: surely God has pegged you for a major mansion....

    God bless.


    I dont need a reward.. I feel that i need to be there for my daughter.. I have missed so much taking care of my parents. Granted I only have them.. But my daughter only has one me and one childhood... I did not have a childhood.. I woke up mom did her hair and makeup got out her clothes brought her coffee in bed.. Everyday. I ma tired... I try to be an involed parent.. I drive 3 hours to my daughters band concert last week because mom had surgery and wanted me there. I cant be in 2 places at once...

    Take some needed time out. You should recognize that your slavery to others has finally reached a breaking point. Pull back and begin rewarding yourself. Doesn't mean that you quit loving and reaching out; but, it does imply that you have been taxed to the limit - including your health and sanity. You deserve some satisfaction in your own life.

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