You were joking, but

    someone took you seriously, and now there is a rift. Even your sincere apology falls on deaf ears. Someone is determined to ride on his high horse, thrive on the anger.

    What do you do now?

    Disclaimer: question is not related to akaQA

    +6  Views: 1794 Answers: 6 Posted: 4 years ago

    6 Answers

    Really not much you can do! Some people just like to have another person be the "wrong" one. Just wait to see if they get over it or if you still care what they think


    Very odd situation, clu. I've done what I can for now, guided by my pastor.

    Apologize.  That's all you can do.  Let the other person decide how they fill about the apology.  And then keep going on and try to be happy in this short beautiful life  we have, even with the disagreements and sad times we all experience.


    Yes, that's my path.

    ....after the apology, continue to treat him/her as you would want to be treated

    Bob/PKB I have done from the get-go

    If they do not listen Bob.just walk away if possible..>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<..


    It's a little more complicated than that, but your advice is solid

    I want to ask if this is just a casual acquaintance? Although I have a sarcastic sense of humor, the people that I deal with on an on-going basis, usually know for sure if I am serious or joking. Why the misunderstanding? Were you really joking or did your remark have some "punch" behind it?

    Your angry comment about the other person "someone is determined to ride on his high horse, thrive on the anger" says a lot. I know you won't like this but you seem so angry yourself. 


    Since I discussed the issue with my pastor, as commented to clu, I would hope the conclusion be drawn that anger is not my issue here.
    There was no mean-spirited "punch" behind my remark. It was intended to illicit a smile.
    As a sincere apology, rather than an obstinate defense, was forthcoming, and that without prompting, perhaps the offended person does choose to ride a high horse and thrive on anger. Perhaps my comment was too offensive to forgive. Perhaps my comment struck a nerve. Time will tell.
    Taking into consideration your assessment of my question, it's likely you would have mistaken my intentions, too. I'll have to vanilla up more.


    I would NOT conclude that because you went to a pastor, you were not angry. Pastors deal with angry people every day. Yes, I might have mistaken your intentions but you certainly can't conclude THAT about "my assessment of the question" unless you actually tell me WHAT you said, HOW you said it and how s/he responded in the moment. Then I am allowed as everyone should be, to explain how I, personally, would have taken it. At that point, we would discuss. On a personal note, I think you have a very, very strong personality so "vanilla up more" doesn't seem part of your make-up. It's okay if you don't agree with my comments. You asked. I answered.

    And, I thanked you for responding to my question, which is more than some people do.
    You are very outspoken in telling me what you think you know about me. I will certainly take that into the consideration your opinion merits.


    I believe that you have been equally outspoken in expressing your opinion of MANY, here on akaQA. I notice that you've ignored the bulk of my response. (NOT; THAT; WHAT; HOW) If I don't like someone's opinion, I simply ignore it and listen to someone else. You may do the same. It's okay if you don't agree with my opinion. You asked. I answered.

    LOL, I'm not surprised.

    Bob, although I don't know you personally, I think you are honest and straight talking, we say outspoken over here ( not sure if you use that word so much in America) ,it's meant in a nice way. I'm outspoken, and I don't have a problem with anyone who is , in fact I prefer that. If this person new you well, they should know when you are joking or not. I would contact them again, and offer my apologies once more, and then say to them, look old friend what I said was meant as a joke , now get off your high horse and forget it.


    Thank you, sunnyB. We do use "outspoken" here, but it can be a double-edged sword of a word. I hadn't seen this person for awhile and sent a note saying I'd missed seeing her. Her response was the first I knew she was angry. I shared the situation with my pastor, who felt her letter suggested she had some "problems". Pastor agreed my response would be to accept all responsibility and apologize for my thoughtlessness, which i did.
    My response could have easily been a clearcutting of her forest of lies, and solved nothing. I've done what I can for now. Thanks for understanding. I always appreciate your outspoken words, because you are also considerate.

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