Which parent did you fear the most? Why?

    In my household it was my mother! My dad left all the discipline up to our mother. We were afraid, very afraid........

    +8  Views: 1842 Answers: 11 Posted: 8 years ago

    your dad was your step-dad, wasn't he, Jh ?

    Yes he was, he didn’t want to “step” in what he considered none of his business unless the crime was sassing my mother and then all his hell would break loose

    11 Answers

    My Grandmother was the "evil" one (Born in 1900) strict discipline, she would hit me with the first thing that came to hand, my Mother was similar but less severe, she preferred to argue, saying this I still loved them both dearly and miss them always, my Father died when I was 7yrs old and I can only assume I inherited his nature & temper, never thought about hitting any of my kids,my upbringing never did me any permanent harm and I think a good few of the children today should have a wee meeting with my Grandmother.


    I want to be one of your kids…….

    I get your point darlin...

    Romos, Sorry your father died when you were 7. That must have been hard on you and your siblings and your mother. I just met a man recently who's father died when all the kids were still at home. And there were 9 kids.!!! I asked him how his mom made it. He said ADC ( welfare ) He said it was pretty tight at the end of the month.And his mom would do things to stretch the food.

    My dad was born in 1906. My mom in 1911. They raised me according to the 1800s standards, b/c that's the way they were raised.

    I guess that honor goes to my mom. She could bankshot a shoe around a corner and hit me square in the head, outrun me swinging a broom, and the hairbrush on my kneecap was her favorite weapon! My mom could talk with her eyes. I learned to listen to her eyes, Her eyes was my 'shot across the bow warning'    I miss them both a lot! Everyday I think of them.


    It sounds to me they did a great job parenting…….

    Debatable! LOL!

    I think of my parents every day too. :-(

    Vinny not laughing at you, but this is my best laugh of the day. My brothers are funny when they talk about my dad spanking them. He didn't spank that much when i was a kid, but i did get one. it cured me.

    Tabber, what's funny is that there's people that don't know the difference between child abuse and instinctive disciplinary child rearing. A parent spanks a child today, they go to jail, child goes to foster care. Yes, my mom was strict, so was my father but not with action, he was more followup and explained the wrong doing, issued the penalty. I am a musician, my father would forbid me to practice my instrument. To me that was terrible! But, I thank them both for I believe doing a good job. I as any kid, hated them so much at the time but nobody would listen to my whining. Kids today get disciplined at home today they hate their parents (normal) then they run to a teacher and the teacher turns it over to authorities, then there's a case worker, meanwhile the child is getting the message that he/she can do as they want. and this my friend is why today we have so much hatred for any authoritative figure and why we have school shootings, no respect for elders or each other for that matter. We are born with the instinct on how to raise children, even the animals will discipline their young when they think they are doing something that would endanger them. I see nothing wrong with a swat on the butt. I see everything wrong with child abuse, lets work on the difference and quit taking orders from people that live in a box. Dr. Spock, you were wrong, you should have known something was not right when your skitzo grandson committed suicide. Total permissiveness and understanding does not work!

    Vinny, you know, i really like your comment regarding the difference from child rearing and child abuse. I have not talked about it much here, but raising and treating children with respect is a passion for me. I have worked with kids and families for years. I think it might be a natural instinct, like you said, like to animals do. However, i do believe that learning and environment play the biggest part. Grown-ups tend to do what their parents did to them. You're lucky you had parents that explained things. Many many many kids did not experience that. But i think we're getting better as a society. Personally i think all about to be parents should be required to take parenting classes, cause we have made a mess with a lot of these kids., or rather, wonderful children.

    Tabber, A parenting class would be for those that want it, they have those already today. I really don't want to sound hard-core here but IMO, short of 'sterilizing' some, making it impossible to have children is a far off solution. But how to decided who is candidate for 'tubal ligation/vasectomy (?) I's not unusual here in CA to find newborns left in dumpsters, garbage cans or just abandoned. It's not unusual to hear on the news that some idiot killed their youngsters because they can't afford them. It's not unusual to hear of 'birth givers' beating their children to death because they cry. This is the problem, people find out that their sex party evolved into unwanted children, blame the children because they are in the way of their dysfunctional social life.

    I learned by the mistakes of my brother and sister that respecting my parents required no trust, confidential expressions of intent, objection to their assignments, failure to comply to their orders, or seeking favor. Write nothing expressing opinion and never provide a signature on a blank slip of paper. I learned the necessity to hide earned money and to lie about whatever I have or found of value. I learned never to join their clubs or organizations. Avoid eating leftovers at meals unless I know its age and condition. Never discuss Bible viewpoints that differ from theirs.    


    Wow. A little heavy. And what age were you?

    birth to 17. I seriously considered shooting them when I was 10...but realized I just had to wait, and in a few years, I could leave leave.

    Waiting is the hardest part. Me? I just got married to get out……

    Robert, my parents wouldn't let my brother join little league or cub scouts. My dad said it either costs too much ,or it was a racket. And he wouldn't let me leave the table till i ate every disgusting morsel of canned creamed asparagus......or whatever they were having. One time he told me it I didn't eat better, then were going to take me to the Dr. and the Dr. would cut into my stomach to look in there to see what was wrong. That scared me so bad .And hurt me that parents would allow that to happen. ( but it didn't happen )

    Mother ....



    Can I get an Amen!!!!!!

    Amen !

    I guess i should not speak ill of the dead,,so i will just say "the one that broke my rib when i was 6 years old,or there abouts.."the memory fades at my age......


    Did the other one apply bandages so tight you couldn’t breath?
    terryfossil 1

    Nah, i don't think they did anything,,i just got left with this rib bone that sticks out a bit on my left side...

    Definitely my dad. He would smack me across the face for something trivial , or smack me on the head, if I was sitting on the ground or the floor.......or reach around to the back seat and smack my leg, b/c that's what he could reach. He was very strict too, and kind of paranoid. He liked my brother more than me b/c Ronnie was a little angel when my dad was around. But, when he wasn't around, Ronnie was a pain and got me into trouble. You couldn't talk to my dad if he was yelling at you or lecturing you.........b/c if you tried to explain the situation, he'd get madder and say you were talking back to him.

              My mother was nicer, but pretty heavy handed with the back of a heavy wooden hair brush.

              And my dad would get outraged at me for the normal things that young teenage girls do.And he would yell at me for the things that my friends did. I had a friend once, too,whose husband  would yell at their son for the things his friends did. That is stupid parenting.


    No CPS in those days. Never mind that I hate their tiny little hearts…...

    My old man was a Scotsman with hands as big as dinner plates & he used them.

    When I was about 15 I started hitting back.He must have realized I was growing up because he stopped trying to dicipline me about the same time.

    I never had the benefit of grand parents so I had to stick around until I could move out.(About 2 weeks after my 17th birthday.)

    As time went by we made ammends but I never forgot the hidings I got from him.

    He died when I was 26 & funnily enough I missed him for a while.

    Mum was a gentle soul of German/Russian/Polish parentage.She had a lot to put up with.

    They say that abuse is passed down from one generation to the next.I deny it.

    I never-ever hit my girls & swore that I would kill anybody that ever did.

    So my answer is......DAD.He was a scary bloke to a kid.



    It looks like I opened a regular can of worms here. I read y'all's stories and grew a little wiser. Every one of you guys have a history yet you all are some of the best people I know......

    We all have to remember that our  parents were  just flawed human beings,  like the rest of us---who happened to have sex, and a baby resulted. 

    And they do their best with what they have. They learned how to be parents from their parents   :-\   And so, it goes on and on.


    This is so true Julie.I have long forgiven my father for his mistakes.I know he had a rough upbringing in the coal mines of Scotland & he tried to bring us up the same way.

    My mother,  although  she never  hit any of us, and she had 5 of us , plus two of her brothers children.  She could discipline  us just the same.  Her main punishment  was to keep  you in for a couple of days, when all the other kids were out playing.


    After reading the above, yours is a refreshing change of pace.....

    We were six kids sunny,4boys 2girls,and i guess we did not have a bad time,wish we could go back and have them all over again,

    Me too Dennis , those were the days my friend.

    Times were tough back then Julie, for most of us I expect. My mother managed to discipline us without hitting us. But then we got proper discipline in school as well didn't we, I think it's a pity times have changed a bit too much sometimes.

    My mum she was great with the uppercuts,we got under the table so it would be harder for her the reach us,Dad often missed as he was to drunk,


    My mom, God bless her, was fond of vodka and belts (after the quirt got lost in a move)....

    hector5559 don't know why "uppercuts"tickles me. Although i know it was not funny at the time. I think it's because that's how my brothers talk when they talk about coming after them. well i'm happy that we are learning to handle kids better in some regions of this planet. have a great weekend hector!

    My dad was the one. I got one spanking in my life at age 5 for peaking out the window after my dad left. it was me and my sister. I slept in the living room. after we peaked out, he came back in and said who peaked out that window. we were suppose to be going to sleep. we both got the hands on our legs. i don't think i did anything wrong for 10 years. my mom was a very kind disciplinarian, very gentle, and smart and kind. my dad talked loud too. all mom might say is, do you want me to tell your dad when he gets home? NO.


    It was never “wait until so ’n so gets home" at my house… No more peaking, tabber!

    jhharlan you got that right. now that i'm grown i don't peak out my own window.

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