Bob/PKB
Well, they are back together again. My eldest son and the mother of his children (who uses meth and is an alcoholic) have reunited after the last fiasco (which was huge). A couple of weeks ago, I told him I can't take it anymore and have severed all but business-oriented communication.
He spent Thanksgiving AND Christmas by himself (she took the kids and away she went, I learned later), which was unnecessary, but his choice. His brothers don't want to be around him if the "girlfriend" is there, and even my ex-husband is at his (dim)wit's end.
I will see the children through my sister, who is happy to share fun days with them and will actually GO to their house to get them. Everyone who loves him (which doesn't include her or her family/friends) is absolutely sick over his choice.
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN SAY OR DO, OR DO I JUST STICK TO MY "STOP THE INSANITY" COURSE OF ACTION?
Thank you for your input.
10 Answers
jhharlan
pythonlover
He obviously loves this woman (the mother of his children).There is not much you can do to sway him from her.I know it's hard to watch our "grown up children"make poor choices.What I would be doing is focusing on the grand children, toxic relationships like this do have an impact on the kids and they end up with all different psychological problems.If you feel the kids maybe subjected or exposed to things that is not in their best interests, you may have to have social services intervene.
| 10 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
Tommyh
I think You're doing all you can Phyl. Don't give up.Just stay out of it & bide your time.The more you discourage him the more intent he will be to continue with his current course of action.Good luck with it tho.Thinking of you.Tom
| 10 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
My parents seemed really stupid when I became a teenager. They "redeemed themselves" as I grew up. Now they are gone and I see my dad was absolutely brilliant; my mom had some issues, but I miss her anyway.
Just gotta hope and pray he and the children don't get hurt.
clu
The only thing you can do is see the children when possible and see that they learn of different life styles Let the kids know you will always be there for them!
| 10 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
bustieone
Bob, you poor dear, you sure do have your plate full! I would say continue the current path, as long as you can see the kids as you describe. Maybe they will come around, or get the help that they need. Short of getting them into court and having a battle to prove them unfit. As you have said, her parents would be the problem then. Those poor kiddies need their rational gramma, but you sure do not need the drama and baggage that this puts on you. Prayers coming your way, regards...
| 10 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
wonderer
terryfossil 1
HI Bob,everybody has their own advice,based upon their own life experiences,which makes them all correct...first of all there is not a lot you can do,,except be there when he hits the bottom of the pit he is falling into,when he does he will look to someone for help,that's when you will have to have the right answers for him,,i know most people get a few chances to turn around,what nobody knows is how many chances a person gets,,all the best Bob,and i hope things work in your's and his favor ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
| 10 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
Ducky
Sometimes, we have to simply "let go" of certain people in our lives. If a person causes so much stress to someone that they should respect, it is time to step away and love from a distance. They may return or they may not. In the meantime, they stay in your heart and they live with their own choices!
| 10 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
sunnyB
robertgrist
Meth is a sick, icky drug that ruins your teeth, hagers the skin into rapid aging and destroys friendships cruelly. It is addictive in that it hurts more to quit than it is dimminish-ingly pleasant. There is no less painful way to get out of the jaws of meth. Extreme anger and agitation is typical for those suffering in its charms and everyone is annoying by just breathing. Sick, addicted broke and friendless with no way out. Narcotics Anonymous helps.
| 10 years ago. Rating: 3 | |
