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    I am married of 3 years and have been having sex issues, like not having any. recently I found my guy online secretly seeking other women for sex, cheating sites. When i told him I found these sites, he denies that he has made these sites or intrested in anyone else. I know he is lying, what do you think?

    0  Views: 1426 Answers: 22 Posted: 6 years ago
    Colleen

    Moderator
    <Comment moved>


    ________________________________________________________________

    bambi1010
    Karma: 15

    wait a min. What I ment to say was that yes there has been sex at first and little by little it has lessened. It has not been because I have chose to not have sex. a marrage with out sex is wrong, I love sex with the right person and beleave a married couple should have sex every day, at least 5 times a week. This probelm has rision in the last year.I will be 52 this year and i am hot for 52. But what he is doing is wrong for a married man to be doing at least in my beleef.I mean these are cheating sites he is going to and says he is single and looking for sex.but then when i ask him about it he says i crazy. that he has not been to these sites. and would not cheat on me. I beleave he already has.

    22 Answers

    If your husband is lying to you then you need to address it one way or another.  The 'no sex zone' truly is another matter.  Address each problem individually.  I would first find out why he feels the need to lie to you.  If you have caught him on these sites then that is reality and him denying all knowledge is a lie.


    There are no rules and regulations as to how much sex a couple should or should not be having in any period of time.  If he doesn't want to have sex then again deal with this as a seperate issue.  When discussing this keep blame and accusations out of the conversation.


    There must be a lot more going on inside your relationship.  It is time to be very honest with yourself especially if he is not.


    Good Luck.

    I think that your gut instinct is working well.  Now you have to make a change or just keep tolerating the behavior.

    My sister just went through the same thing. He denied, denied, denied. Then he went to the hospital and she found his cell phone. He's gone now....

    What do you want from us? You know the answer to this. You have your own issues if you've allowed no sex for 3 years. You can't fix your spouse but you can fix you. 

    rylayne48

    I agree if you won't give him any after a while he'll look somewhere else unless your sick and can't have sex then he should understand that. If it's not too late see a counseler or bend over the kitchen table
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Bend over the kitchen table? Did you really need to say that? No amount of animalistic sex will save a relationship. There's no respect in "bend over the kitchen table". That's dominance. There's no love in dominance.
    babygirl79007

    dont feel to bad.....my man n i dont have much sex, and its because ive been so sick and you would think that he'd feel bad for me being so sick, but hes really mean to me all the time and looks at nasty porn all night (and day at work too) and cheats on me as much as possible...... so i guess the persons theory that a man wont cheat on his woman if her being sick is the reason for the lack of sex, is pretty much not true.,.,..... i would never do that to him, but i guess i must actually love him, and he doesnt love me....if he did.....he wouldnt wait till im as sick as humanly possible without dying, then sleep with anyone who would spread their legs !! THATS OK THOUGH....KARMAS A B*TCH AND PAYBACK IS A MOTHER-F'*r.... AND I'M THE MOST FAITHFUL WOMAN THAT HES EVER MET AND EVER WILL, SO I WONT BE THE ONE TO CHEAT, BUT LIKE I SAID......KARMA IS A B*TCH, AND ONE DAY HE'LL LOVE SOMEONE WITH ALL HIS HEART, AND SHE;LL BURT HIM LIKE HES HURT ME.....
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Babygirl, perhaps it's time you became adultgirl and leave this thing you call a man. He's not a man, he's a selfish boy. What exactly do you get out of loving something like that? If you would learn to love yourself instead of thinking others should give you the love you deserve, then you would not be with this boy. You would love yourself better than he's treating you. You must first love yourself before you can love another. At this point, you do not know what love is, so you can hardly claim that you love him. Figure out what love is, then take a good look at your relationship again. Please stop calling him a man. Find a real man then compare what you have to him. You will find what you have is male in body but he is no man.

    Just to remind you, I found your wedding picture. You were both 97. Just be thankful he's breathing! ""

    rylayne48

    This is the couple in question? who cares if he's going on a site heck he's earned it.

    Talk with him, you seem to have the smoking gun, so prepare to live with it, or leave, simple!

    mikeyboy123

    Exactly how I see it. Nicely worded and so short and right to the point.

    There is something missing in all of this and that something is called LOVE, no, not the sexual kind, but the emotional kind that binds two people together. Maybe that is the root of the problem and if so then I see no remedy for it.


      

    ALARM Bells are ringing! (positively peeling):( Time for one HUGE discussion with him)...you know what you saw! ...so follow your instincts ...if he has been caught out then he has to fess up!... Good Luck!!!:-z

    You need to sit down and speak with him frankly about this. It may be that he is suffering from physical problems or performance anxiety and doesn't want to admit it to you.If this is not the case, then he is obviously contented to go elsewhere.

    Have you had no sex for 3 years or just not enough to suit you? If you deny sex you can expect him to seek it elsewhere! However  cyber sex could leave a lot of nothing! 

    bambi1010

    wait a min. What I ment to say was that yes there has been sex at first and little by little it has


    lessened. It has not been because I have chose to not have sex. a marrage with out sex is wrong, I love sex with the right person and beleave a married couple should have sex every day, at least 5 times a week. This probelm has rision in the last year.I will be 52 this year and i am hot for 52. But what he is doing is wrong for a married man to be doing at least in my beleef.I mean these are cheating sites he is going to and says he is single and looking for sex.but then when i ask him about it he says i crazy. that he has not been to these sites. and would not cheat on me. I beleave he already has.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    bambi...I don't think I've ever heard of a cheater, who when caught, simply admitted it. That wouldn't make sense. Why disrupt their home life due to their "hobby". They never intend to get caught!
    millie111

    @ducky...yes too right!....They are usually only SORRY that they got caught out!!!:-0
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Agreed millie.

    If you haven't had sex for the last three year, I think you got more serious problem, His problem is the sexnet!

    I think you must be making this up because no person in his right mind would live like that for three years and ask total strangers "What do you think?"


    If you are serious, then pack your bags and go home. Your husband is a cheater. 

    Marriage counselor. If he won't go, dump him. You didn't say how old he was. The older a man gets the more important the emotional aspect (Love) gets. Good sex is a plus but it does take the backseat sort of speak to the relationship. I admit that I haven't had any headboards break lately, but the emotional attachment to my wife is constantly getting more intense. But that's just me. 

    I would suggest for you, and if possible, with  your husband to go and see a  marriage  Councilor, where you will get advice.( * Think he is seeking out door relief ) !

    I think you need a divorce attorney

    I think maybe you should give this guy a break for a second... He's probably embarrassed he knows you know and he would know that your not stupid to believe him. If you want this relationship to work maybe discuss that there is obviously a sex issue and talk about other ways to revamp it, bring in a tickler? you need to get out of your comfort zones. I surprise my husband with naughty night away when grandma can babysit and believe me I do this for him more than me but a guy need sex to feel loved and a girl needs hugs to feel loved... I bet he still hugs you? give and take.... And I'm not a "do it all for your man" girl either! good luck mate what ever you do though...

    Go to a doctor and get tested for sexually transmitted disease. Some people just cant stay with one partner. Good luck to you..

    Ducky

    Moderator
    It's not "can't"...it's "won't". Everyone has self control which they can exercise or totally ignore. You choose to be loyal out of respect!

    u really want to know what hes doing on the computer get spyware

    should of married me....

    Put him in bed once a day and give him wild crazy sex until he screams with joy. All men want sex and food. Give it to him and keep him or give it up and get rid of him to only get another in the same.

    I think u must meet her



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