11 Answers

This works for me.  Buy music that you like from a foreign country... I love Soca or East Indian Music.  Most people don't.  Play it all day long... not loud.  It eventually grates on the nerves of narrow minded people.  If that does not work switch to Mexican Rap or Industrial Metal... if that fails Neil Sedaka and E.L.O..  ... Still no luck?, Try Nine Inch Nails and Limp Bizkit.  Play the music all day long, day in and day out, within the hours that is permitted by law.  If you don't have a CD player choose radio stations that will grate upon their nerves.  And, because your window is open, start burning incence of oddball smells... don't choose Vanilla.  Men, love the smell of baked goods... an odd fact. 

One more thing that really works... take up learning to sing Opera.  Practice every day.  The chances are very high that you will not sound very good at first.  A friend of mine did this by practicing with a cork between her teeth (Which is the thing to do).  She even answered the door with the cork between her teeth... everyone stayed away.

It isn't difficult to 'out annoy' others if you put your mind to it.  They may think you have lost your mind but, that could work to your advantage anyway!

Get the landlord involved.  One tenant cannot cause discomfort for another without intervention from the owner.  It's his/her responsibility to handle tenant complaints.  (BTW, you should be documenting every complaint that you have....date, time, what was said by you and by them, and the result.)

I'm assuming you have already told them to knock of the objectionable language.

If you own the home, place a divider between the properties.

If not, ask the landlord to do it for you, WBMS

If you feel you cannot talk to them and improve your relationship, I think you should try to find another place and move out.

Buy a big planting pot and put a large plastic plant in it. Fill it with the foulest smelling fertilizer you can find and keep your windows down. If they don't mind smelling like s*** they'll still be there. If your lucky they'll think your crazy fertilizing a fake plant and find another place to relax. If they remove the plant charge them with theft.

1. try to explain to them, or if they are dating, to their partners.

2. If no luck there, talk to landlord, explaining the situation

3. Offer solution to landlord, to put a partition so they have section, and you also. 

4. If no response from landlord, tell him based upon fact that you are denied the peace and comfort of the dwelling that you rented, that you need to break lease and move with no penalties to you what so ever!  (look before this step, so you have a place to move to, as he may want you out within 30 days). 

Maybe when you put chairs out . they thought it was an invite! Take your chairs in . Start asking them to sweep the porch, help peel onions, anything annoying might help! 

You might just need to put out a chair for yourself only when you want to enjoy your porch area.  I like the idea of inundating your space with plants, real and fake. I like the idea of playing obscure music that grates on others' nerves (leave it going when you aren't home, too). I like the idea of putting stinky fertilizer on the plants (real and fake).  I also think the next time one of them makes a rude remark, you might tell him you do not appreciate his comments, humor, and harassment. If he can't speak to you respectfully, you will file a complaint with the local police department and/or report his behavior to your landlord.  You, as a tenant, have a slew of rights; there are agencies who can assist you with the problem you are having. 

Personally, I would move their chairs as far away as you possibly can and continue moving them until the boys get the hint. If they DON'T get the hint, move them right into your car and drive them to the thrift store. (Do this when no one is looking). 

Good luck. I feel for you. 

Yep! sound familiar! I'll be right over there kick some ass.

Negative advice just leads to more negativity. Try something more possitive. You could get fencing and plant them into pots and use these as your defined area. Plant them with plants in the spring and leave them empty in the winter.

dont worry it will be well