Desperate Housewife Needs Help! Do you have an answer?

    I was given a gift of patio furniture. It is very nice and cost a bundle.  My problem: I have a patio and it has attractive furniture on it BUT three years ago when we first moved in, there was a nest of Black Widow spiders. My two-year-old grandaughter picked up a watering can and inside there was a live one!! The current furniture outside is attractive but not usable. We never go out there except to water the Roses.

    We have a spider lady who comes ever month and sprays but I no longer like to go to the back patio. My mind always goes to that spider moment. (My husband's brain goes there too)

    I cannot put the furniture in the front yard because there is no shade. 

    I dread talking to my beloved daughter-in-law about this situation.  What finally happened? When I first spoke to our son, he was just ecstatic about giving us  this gift.   But now I have returned the patio furniture to Pier 1 and replaced it with a beautiful table and many other items that can be safe inside the house.   

    A Desperate Housewife

    I will not see him and his wife for about three years. Shall I tell the truth or not.   Family relationships are so delicate .... I don't want to blow it. 

    +2  Views: 760 Answers: 5 Posted: 12 years ago

    Feel free..none of my jargon is copyrighted so use it up..if it helps! lol ;D

    I would bet you have a whale of copyrighted material. Do you?

    Yes..all songs..unless you count my play and all the essays..!! But the wit is genetic..the family is a riot!!

    I thought so. What subject did you like? I'm a writer too ... a column, a little book, children's stories, poems I cannot imagine writing anymore. I totally wrote myself out.

    5 Answers

    I think I would have been upfront about the spider thing and how nervous it made both you and your husband.  I think I would have explained about not using the patio furniture or going out except to water the roses.  I think I would have asked if they wanted me to return the furniture, or could I exchange it for (insert items here).  
    I THINK I would have done this.  I would feel horrible to just exchange the gift without letting them know what was going on.  Even though I wouldn't see them for such an extended period of time, the guilt would hit me nearly every time I passed by the new items.
    (We had black widows, too, and sprayed for them on a monthly basis.  They eventually became the exception rather than the rule. ) 


    Oh dear ...

    (It's too late)

    Thank you.

    No, itsmee, it's not too late. They haven't seen that you have made the exchange. Just present it as something you would LIKE to do.
    Explain the spider problem and then ask if they would be upset if you exchanged the beautiful furniture for something "comparable" for INside the house. It sounds like you have a good son and daughter-in-law. You are a sweetie. Have faith!

    Oh Bob/PKB, the thought of making that phone call makes my heart beat outta my chest.

    They gave you a thoughtful gift and you were able to get something you really wanted!  When I give a gift I really just want the person/people to be happy.  If you explained the situation too me and then told me you were able to treat yourself to something you wanted and could use I would not be offended.  Even Doo knows that poisonous critters give people the serious heebigeebz!  Hesitating to go outside or have guests outside would be the reasonable response for many people- especially with little ones around!


    Yoo are you, doo. It would be easy to explain to you. You'd be happy. But there are, as you say, some poisonous critters ....maybe I haven't told the entire story. : ))

    Spill the beans and rent or buy a pressure washer laced with bug/spider killer.. enjoy your deck as well as your family..lifes too short..

    Let this go...when you see them in 3 years you can "laugh" about it then....OR just explain the situation and thank them for providing the new indoor furniture that you enjoy every single day versus enjoying watching the patio furniture from afar! I was bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider years ago and nearly lost my arm so to act on the side of caution is the way to go when it comes to your beloved ones and what can be a very dangerous Spider bite!!! Peace.


    "thank them for providing the new indoor furniture that you enjoy every single day versus enjoying watching the patio furniture from afar."
    I read this and laughed. LOL! That is exactly what I'm going to say. I will have a cheat sheet in front of me in case I get all tangled up and say it wrong. THANK YOU.

    I would just explain about the spiders! Also maybe you could get a Patio umbrella and move the furniture to the front yard!  I don't know if I could live in a house where there were places I was afraid of.  However having said that-- When the coyotes start howling at night around here I head for the house as fast as possible.  Think about the umbrella or maybe a couple of them.


    Thank you, clu. You know, it's just too dang hot here in our town for umbrellas to do much good. The first time I stood in this heat, I thought for sure I was going to pass right away. We moved from the coast.

    I don't know where you live so it was just an idea! Stay COOL!

    Fresno is where itsmee and I live. We get some very hot days that are so dry. It isn't as hot as Las Vegas, which nearly burns your lungs with the heat, but someone accustomed to the pleasant coastal weather would have a rough go acclimating to the Central Valley.

    OK I See! In Michigan we can get humidity in the summer that will drain you very quick! Dry heat? I don't know if I could cope! But humid heat is very mean also!

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