close
    CONTROL

    What do YOU need to control?  How to do you LET GO of control? Are you a "Control Freak"?

    +6  Views: 866 Answers: 11 Posted: 7 years ago

    11 Answers

    My emotions are probably the hardest thing for me to control, maybe I'll never be able to controll them perhaps it's time I stop trying and leave it up to the big guy..

    Control freak, me? No way, or... I do not want to control anybody else's life but I definitely want to control my own. When I let go I completely trust with other what they say. To me it is either everything or nothing when it comes about controlling my own life. 

    Bob/PKB

    RE: last sentence....does that mean you either control everything about your life or you control nothing at all?
    pikkutiikeri65

    Not 100% but almost. I am an Asperger person.
    Bob/PKB

    Having just educated myself the tiniest bit about AS, it will help me understand a bit more your responses.

    I don't think I am a control "freak" I do however choose to control the environment in which I live, I don't actively encourage people to drop in, (I work long hours and prefer to choose when I wish to socialize) I make a general rule of live and let live, how others wish to behave or live is entirely up to them as long as it does not effect me, and if my husband really wants to wear purple and orange (ugh) I just people know he chose it by himself. There are times at work I need to be in control, but I am not controlling people, merely a bad situation or environment

    Nope...not a control freak at all. The only time control is important to me is, if someone has put me in charge of something and I will be held responsible for having had control of it.

    CHAIN

    goodnight all!!

    I've learned to control only what I can, and not to worry about the rest.   I am, however, a bit of a perfectionist, which some assume means I want to control them.  In fact, it is the opposite: I want them to control themselves and what they have control over.  I hate mediocrity, and yet the world is such a mediocre place.  I want everyone, myself included, to be the best they can be, and it dissappoints me when others are lazy and satisfied with things just as they are.  I want everything and everyone around me to constantly strive to make things bigger, better, faster, smarter, stronger and more efficient. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who thinks that way, and I get a lot of grief for "upsetting the apple cart" when actually what I'm trying to do is keep the applecart from falling over on it's own.  It seems I am all alone in this venture.       

    Bob/PKB

    Perhaps your standards for yourself are high and you wish everyone had the same high standards. I had an employer who reminded me that not everybody had the same high standards for themselves in the workplace as I.
    Russrocks

    Exactly! I struggle with it every day. Like why do so many people not bother to look up words they don't know how to spell?
    lambshank

    sorry, comment is badly worded, but it won;t allow me to edit for whatever reason
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Russrocks...how can I keep myself from commenting on YOUR comment re: people not looking up words that they don't know how to spell..."diSSappoints"????????? Tsk tsk tsk.
    (I guess people sometimes make mistakes?)
    Bob/PKB

    I think it is important to be careful about what you fault in other people. PET PEEVE about spelling perhaps? I notice when others have misspelled something, but the day I am perfect is the day I'll start whining about editing the qs and as here.

    Colleen

    Moderator
    akaQA was never meant to be perfect. It is volunteers coming together to share what they know. It is a place for fun and relaxation. If you have a better answer, include it but do not fault others for the answers they give. This is a form of trying to control others and make them reflections of yourself which now leads into ego. You should see a professional about this issue you have in trying to make others into something they are not. Relax and understand God created the differences in order for us to learn how to get along with those not like our self. A perfectionist should understand this. Perfection means understanding all and accepting all. This world was never meant to be perfect, it was meant to be just what it is, a learning ground and all learn at their own speed. If a person was truly perfect, there would be no reason for them to be here. Strive to be better but have fun along the way. Always remember too that it is lonely at the top.
    facebook

    Good answer! Colleen ! If we were in a perfect world there be no need to correct our self. However there always room for improving,just need to understand each other difference.

    I try to control only what I can about my life. I never try to control anyone else. When my children were small, I taught them right from wrong, but never tried to change theire personality.

    how do you know if you are?

    Russrocks

    People will tell you.
    CHAIN

    well then you're not then.......or do I mean me?
    Bob/PKB

    I think control freak would be akin to micro- managing. I was in charge of a church function once. A woman who generally had a lot of authority advised me that I needed to select napkins for the tea table. I remember thinking the woman in charge of the tea table/service should pick out napkins. Had I made it my responsibility to pick out the napkins by insisting on it, that would have been control freak. When you delegate work to people, you don't continue to supervise and direct what they do. You give them some space. They report back to you as you are ultimately responsible for what they do.

    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference....... I try to control all I can just to keep order in my life......................

    jhharlan

    Wisdom is the key word here..... This is the prayer recited at AA meetings.....

    I agree with almost everyone here, I'm not a control freak, I will control myself but there is time when I see a good looking chick ! my eye wont listen.

    I have control of nothing but my daughters have met a few control freaks.......lol


    They dumped them.....

    Headless Man

    Their both Christians, there's a difference between good teaching and control.
    You apparently have had a bad experience with a priest.

    HOW TO LET GO OF CONTROL.


    Accept , Allow  interventions of all types within your journey of life. Embrace all experiences  and changes and recognise that your attempts to Control people and outcomes are fruitless and damaging to those who you wish to control. Remember that your time on this stage of life is always best enjoyed when there is a full production where all actors have a input to theatre of Life.


    I am so therefore, I Direct, Produce, Edit and Critique Totaly. All things that I BELIEVE I own and support in my being.


    This is what comes to my mind when Control is mentioned in relationships be they personal or work related.


    An attribute with people that is toxic . 


    Am I a Control Freak.


    No, I am not that energetic and the inbuilt belief that we all have parts to play bringing knowledge, skills and attributes. I know that I am very, very minute in the Grand scheme of things.

    Colleen

    Moderator
    Please post your answer as one post, not spread out into 3. I've put all your answers together into this one comment as they have been. If you think of something else after you've posted, you can use the edit feature and add to your original answer. Thanks and welcome to akaQA.


    Top contributors in Psychology category

     
    Benthere
    Answers: 4 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 16305
     
    jhharlan
    Answers: 138 / Questions: 1
    Karma: 13155
     
    FISH-O
    Answers: 69 / Questions: 3
    Karma: 10230
     
    Ducky
    Answers: 81 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 9990
    > Top contributors chart

    Unanswered Questions

    Vashikaran expert
    Answers: 0 Views: 6 Rating: 0
    The logic of cats. What do you think?
    Answers: 0 Views: 4 Rating: 0
    > More questions...
    443554
    questions
    714139
    answers
    565024
    users