my husband thinks it is not a big deal that he texts and goes to lunch with a female friend of his (also married) . She and her husband are our friends, and they do occasional business together.

    +3  Views: 1493 Answers: 13 Posted: 12 years ago

    Annie, you know that this happens - he is open with you about it. If there was something "sinister" in it, surely he would not say anything to you about it at all but hide it. My view is that he thinks you deserve his honesty and that you understand that he has a friend who happens to be a female - is he right? Or are you being like a Mrs Krabbitz (sic) who sees bad in everyone else?

    13 Answers

    What i think is seeing how he is being "open about it like everyone here agrees , perhaps you should be invited to join them just to see first hand what actually goes on..

    I would keep an open mind and open lines of communication.  Stay on top of things but don't appear as if you are doing so.

    My father had a similar relationship with a woman when we were growing up.  The other couple were good friends.  My parents did many things with this couple.  My father would meet the woman for lunch and go to sporting events that her children were participating in.

    My father has been happily married to this woman for 35 years this Summer.

    You must be a very trusting person, working together is one thing, but having lunch together is another (a bit too close for comfort don't you think ?) As for texting, now that is getting too personal, just be mindful that this could be a recipe for an affair.


    I agree. The texting is far too friendly.

    Maybe they are sexting

    If they work together, then it would seem normal to invite a friend out to lunch. If they dont work together than I would insist to join them for lunch . You might find out, that your suspicion is either right or wrong.


    Ann, Yeah, Maybe they're playing footsies under the table.

    If he is being open about it sounds ok to me. But if you don't trust him,, have it out with him and tell him you don't like it.


    post ing it three times is a bit overkill sunny haha.

    I know bowlsey, nothing happened so I just kept on clicking, my computers being a bit temperamental today.

    he`s being open about it ,do you have any reason to think something is amiss if not just roll with it.


    How about YOU start texting her husband and tell your husband that you`re having lunch with HIM???...Check out his may speak volumes??!!!!:-)

    I'm real torn about this one. I, for one, wouldn't like the texting part, I would find it unnecessary. What could be said in a text that couldn't be said in person? Go to lunch with them and pay close attention and trust your gut...............

    Have you explained how you feel to your husband?

    If he has already told you that what he's doing is of no consequence, then your options are limited.

    You could make a big deal out of it, thus showing him that you don't trust him.

    You could ignore it and learn to trust your husband.

    You could invite the husband out for lunch. (Joke)

    You can reflect on whether you feel the two of them have ever given you vibes to think there is anything untoward happening.

     If you can honestly say it seems innocent, then despite the fact you think it's inappropriate for the two of them to lunch together without their respective spouses, you may have to let the situation go.

    It sounds like your Spider Woman senses are tingling.......""


    susan seddons' spider woman

    No Peter Parker then?

    I considered a comic book version but all depictions seemed too...risque' for the forum...not for you mind you...just the forum!!!!LOL :D

    I would like more information before I make a comment.  

    Many an affair has started with a man and a woman just going out to lunch together. But, then, it leads to other things.Then, they call each other when the spouses aren't home. Then, they tell each other , " I think about you all the time " . . . . " I do too " 

    It's not a big deal unless you make it one.  Marriage is all about trust.  Do you trust him?  Has he ever given you any reason not to trust him?  If you don't trust him then your relationship has serious problems already.  That said, watch for signs. As Nixon said, "Trust but verify."


    Russ, even spouses who you trust can let you down and prove to be unfaithful

    what your saying is that you think their having sex.time to ask what you want out of this relationship

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