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    How do I help my teenager with lying for no reason

    +2  Views: 646 Answers: 15 Posted: 12 years ago

    15 Answers

    That's a tough one.  I had a very good friend who was a compulsive liar.  If this was my child I would choose counceling and peer programs.  I would make this decision based on what I saw my friend go through... her journey was extreme.  Lying should not become a very bad habit.


    Good Luck.

    Lying for no reason is often a symptom of addictive behaviour,or low-esteem and a ploy for attention good or bad,in any case this child needs some councelling with an experienced professional and perhaps you might take a closer look at what he/she is lying about...is it where he/she's been? or what they've been doing and with whom? and is there collaboration among  their peers?As stated above,you don't want this to become habitual and councelling is the way to go depending upon the severity of this situation.Peace.

     Bet your bippy there is a reason.  You will need professional help to fix this.   It can definitely screwup the teen's whole life.

    Perhaps it's the company he keeps take a good look at his pals.

    take him to a counselor

    Roberts right. Have him piss tested.

    Lying for no reason is typical of addictive behavior toward adult authority persons. Your child is likely addicted or imbibing in drugs or behavior that you would not approve of. An unapproved girlfriend or boy friend inspires similar behavior. Lying has purpose in protecting the child from the consequences of discovery. So I would advise drug testing without bothering to search their room for evidence first and without bothering to explain what the blood draw is for…"You may be anemic."


     

    robertgrist

    There are times and situations where not being honest can be desirable, those situations apparently need to be discussed. My parents told me to be completely honest with them and promptly betrayed that trust. I was taught not to trust them by their actions in the face of honesty…so I learned to lie to them and treat them as untrustworthy.

    Some times something simple can help, tell him your going to do something he would really like to do such as go to a movie, then when he's ready to go tell him you was lying and your not going. Then ask him how it feels and talk to him about how his lying hurts you and it needs to stop.


    Then if it don't stop take him to a counselor........

    Often seeking negative attention is still seeking attention. Counseling would be a great place to start. Good luck to you and your teen.

    In my opinion  sound like drug or something there hiding,and try to coverup by lying.beware!

    My nephew tried a few lies on me, I sat him down and told him that lying was a cowards way out. It worked for him. If it hadn't work would have checked into professional advise.

    She/he lies because she is afraid, and of you.. unhappily. She/he must have told the truth before and it had bad repercussions, maybe a scolding that went on and on, and was repeated because she/he made a mistake. Give her confidence by not carrying on about lying and let the matter rest. The best way to avoid lies is to avoid asking questions. No questions, no answers, no lies. And then, ask yourself, how important is it to you, that the question that you are about to ask, gets an honest answer. I know there are kids who are pregnant because of this, but that is life. You just give her/him good advise and never in the midst of a heated argument.

    Bob/PKB

    This is a teenager lying. It goes beyond telling the truth and getting in trouble once in a while. Who in their right mind doesn't pose a question to his/her child? LET THE MATTER REST? The teen comes staggering in at 3 AM and we don't ask about it later? Get real.

    Yep...difficult years!:-¬... But teenagers are almost programmed to be secretive..They`re no longer kids..but not quite adults!...i just think communication and trying to reassure them that you do understand how they feel will help them maintain honesty..It`s one of the hardest things I know!...Do Parents ever stop worrying re their kids from the day they are born??..Not in my humble opinion..We just have to do our best to educate them re the dangers of life and bee honest with them too!


    very good luck,


    millie.

    I hope this is not sexist but if your teen is a girl you don’t stand a chance.

    My oldest son lied because he could get away with it.  Very believable to this very day.
    My youngest son has always been pretty up front. 

    My middle son, however, lied from the get-go...just couldn't tell the truth, whether he had done something wrong or not.  Just couldn't be straightforward.   He's been in jail for nearly a year and still no resolution, just going to court once a month and being continued for the next month. We have a chance to talk 2-3 times every week as well as my visits to him.  What I have learned about him is this:

    He never felt comfortable with himself.  He didn't have the friend basis either brother had, partly because there weren't a lot of boys in his class He was well-liked by everyone, however. He didn't have an acute interest in anything.   Middle Son was VERY good at EVERYTHING he did, but he wasn't comfortable with himself.  I think it was self-image, esteem???
    The marital/family breakup seriously affected his behavior, and 9 years later, at age 24, he says he wishes Mom and Dad would have kept the family together and he was still living in our house out in the country. He has no place he calls HOME.

    I don't know the circumstances around your teenager, but if any of this sounds familiar in his/her background, please seek counseling. 
    If the lying is a recent behavior, I'd look to peers and the possibility of drug usage, sexual activity, and/or other stuff we don't want our kids doing when they are teenagers.



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