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    Jealousy, has it ever been an issue in a relationship. How did you handle it?

    My wife has always been extremely Jealous. Even today at our age. I never gave her cause, but I do enjoy interacting socially with people. She on the other hand does not. This has on several occasions through the years made me consider leaving.I don't have a jealous bone in my body. Can anyone relate to this?


     


     

    +9  Views: 968 Answers: 17 Posted: 12 years ago

    17 Answers

    Yes I can.  I am not a jealous person either.


    My ex-husband just hated it if I were the one getting attention when we socialized.  He would become very nasty during the drive home.  In the end I didn't want to go any where with him.  What would be the point?  If I didn't partake I was a party pooper and a drain and if I did, I would be in for it during the car ride home.


    Not a fun situation... maybe you can talk to your wife about this.  Good luck Ed.  You really seem to be having a hard go of things lately.  I hope things straighten out soon.


    Hugs from the Fish.

    ed shank

    Thanks Fish.

    I am not a jealous person either, and look at jealousy as stemming from an insecurity in many instances. I believe you can't change someone's jealousy very much, as it seems it is usually too deeply ingrained within that person. I also believe the only way you can negate jealousy to any degree, is to simply point out the facts, and keep doing the right thing.


    I also believe, that at times, jealousy can be used as a means of control over someone else in a relationship. In having said that, I have to say, it sucks up a lot of time and energy...and is really something I have come to strongly dislike over the years.


     

    lambshank

    you seem to have a good insight into the problem

    It is horrible. it possessed my mind. By talking about it helped alot.

    ed shank

    Glad you saw it and attempted to change.
    fjoel

    thanks.

    I'm very jealous, I just keep my mouth shut (except for emailing friends, thanks guys) and it eases with time.........

    I used to be when I met my 2nd husband. He was a very prominent man. I finally realized that this was his nature. He always hugged people and always was very complimentary. to everyone.

    When hubby and I first meet  I was very insecure and jealous... But now I love to see him confident , even flirty.. I think it is healthy for him. But I am completely secure in his dedication to me. 


    HE is crazy jealous.. HE thinks I am just beautiful and cant imagine that a man would want to be my friend.. They all want to have sex...LOL... But he never says anything... He adjust his poster around other man when i am there and will quickly let them know if he feel they have said anything inappropriate... LOL he is my bull dog.. 

    jhharlan

    So lucky you.......

    My ex was a jealous man. I will not be controlled. I do not control others and I expect the same treatment. I'm pretty outspoken and I stand my ground. Learn to deal or move on. It's blunt, but I can not waste time on something I find petty. If you know you have this problem sort it out, it will ruin your live and ruin the lives of your family.


    I think of jealousy as evil, I don't want it around me.


    The person can teach themselves to have better, healthier thoughts.

    doolittle

    It is evil...and useless.

    What's funny to me is years ago i was extremely jealous of my wife (girlfriend at the time), probably cause at the time she was the hottest thing around(still is in my eyes) now that were a bit older , actually much older she is the jealous one, of what me, It's not like i'm any big prize (huba huba) but with time it seems to be getting better, perhaps she realizes a good thing..

    My first wife was, I guess I said enough.........

    I'm not jealous, but my husband is, and it may sound odd but I don't mind, he often leaves me sitting alone to play the poker machines or gamble on horses, neither of which interest me, he is soon at my side when I strike up a conversation with someone else

    IF I am ever in a relationship with someone again (and that is a big "if"), I will NOT be jealous of the person's looks, abilities, friendships, activities, or anything that keeps us from spending time together.  
    After all the time you've been married, ed shank, I don't understand why Mrs. is still insecure about you......perhaps she feels some lacking in herself, or that you married her first because she was pregnant.  Maybe letting her know you'd have married her pg or not would be a comfort of some kind?   

    dowsa

    "True Love" could be just around the corner"BOb"
    Bob/PKB

    We'll see. :D

    I was  when I was attending middle school, but once I grew up I gained confidence. I believe once you are confident and secure with yourself you loose jealousy, at least in my case. If someone is cheating that may cause jealousy, as well as insecurity and lack of trust.


    You may just want to build up her confidence, compliment her more often (if possible) and get her a self help type book.  Maybe something about building self esteem or a positive thinking type book. Hope this helps?

    lambshank

    I understand what your saying, but she may just take exception to her jealousy being identified in this way (the self help book I mean)
    leeroy

    Good point lambie, I know some women or men can be very sensitive.

    I am not a jealous person at all and very trusting.  Should not have been.  Thought was just a flirtation turned out to be affair.  Ended 17yr marriage.

    She has a very odd schedule lately. She may not come home for several days. We talk everyday on the phone, several times. I tell her everyday I love her. I always make it a point to compliment her no matter where we go. Several of her friends have said to her, If you ever want to get rid of him let me know. They all at one time have gotten a bad look from her, they also know she is very jealous. I guess I should be flattered. Not being jealous myself, I thought that perhaps she thinks that I don't care if someone else whisks her away. I believe that "extreme jealousy" is a form of mental illness. I've made it this far without a knife in my heart, and I imagine in the future that also will not happen.


     

    jhharlan

    Poor @ed, I don't know what to tell you. I think she has a problem and some extreme counseling is in order. Good Luck and don't let her know a female is writing to you..........
    ed shank

    It's our secret. JH.

    Jealousy is an awful trait to have to tolerate in someone.  I know more than one person who is extremely jealous of their mate.  I believe that if a person wants to leave the relationship, they will and no amount of "hanging on", will keep them by your side. 

    We both were for long time but managed to survive it as we were getting a little wiser...

    Ok,its ok to have a little jealousy but not so much to split up.



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