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    How do you react when receiving really bad, sad news...........?

    I've been told they are afraid I would be in denial or that I shouldn't be told.........

    +9  Views: 1075 Answers: 22 Posted: 11 years ago

    22 Answers

    Everyone reacts differently..but you grieve at your own pace!...When my Dad died suddenly I went into shock..which is natural but I hated that as i found it crippled my mind and all co-ordination went out the window...I knew I`D COPE BETTER WHEN THAT PHASE PASSED!!...Stages of grieving often include anger (Towards the person involved or the Dr`s AND Nurses...or just about anyone,crying...denial..disbelief..shock,depression...Often a short course of prescribed anti depressents help...and CRUISE BEREAVEMENT LINE ARE GREAT!!...There`s NO right or wrong way of getting through it ..I absolutely hated people saying times a great healer...but it is...and you start to remember the happy times again...and remember be kind to yourself!!...ALL BEST WISHES MILLIE.

    ROMOS

    Comprende?

    I usually like to be alone.Think it thru.Consider the ramifications.Make a plan to get thru it. Keeping it from me would be the worst thing anyone could do. For them & for me.

    jhharlan

    Thank you, @Tommyh........!

    Outwardly, it would probably seem like I'm reacting calmly. But, within myself it would be more like giving myself time to assess the situation in order to deal with it, as that's what I needed to do in dealing with it. In regards to the greiving part, the hardest for me was sitting down and fully realizing that person would no longer be there, and the realization of it actually hurt.

    jhharlan

    Nail on the head, thank you @Shootah..........

    I cry get angry ,and pray alot.Have a great eveing

    When I am first told I usually am in a place of shock.  Then I find it best to sit and process alone.  ... And then I have about 26 phone calls with my Aunt and 36 phone calls with my Mom and another 1/2 dozen with my great friend and I then talk my poor dear husband's ears off.  He is a great listener.

    millie111

    Yep..i agree with everyone!...this one from FISH FRY...reminds you that you arent the only one going through this and talking to others and friends helps a lot!!...When I`M at my mum`s home..it hits me that its not just me who`se lost my Dad..as opposed to returning to London where people ask how I am and i delude myself that its ONLY me who is suffering his loss!!...also dont be afraid to cry in public..i never understand how people can look at you like you have two heads if you`re in floods of tears in the street..yet dont react the same way at people smiling and laughing!!...Oh and my advise crazy as it sounds drink plenty of sweet tea...ME AND MY SISTER LIVED OFF IT YET WE BOTH USUALLY HATE THE STUFF!!...it REALLY HELPS WITH THE SHOCK!!!imho...ok i`ll leave you alone now!!! XXALL LOVE AND GOOD WISHES MILLIE XXX

    First, I really hope "they" are wrong.  They should not have said anything about how you will react to bad news.  That would just get me going into all kinds of dark places with what the news will be.
    For myself, probably take it without showing any emotion at first.  Probably be in denial, and then fall apart.  Shock would keep me going in auto-pilot for awhile. 
    I'll be praying for you.

    jhharlan

    Thank you, Phyl.....I mean Bob.........

    I wold go in the denial mode first and then into schock. Everthing from there on would be like an out of body experience. I would still function, but barely. I hope no one ever not tell me the bad news,

    jhharlan

    Thank you, @Ann. You're right, of course....

    I appear calm but inside I'm in turmoil.  It takes me a while to absorb things and then as soon as I have a "supporter" arrive at my side, I fall apart briefly.  Then I start to come to my senses and handle the things that need to be done, and again, I appear to be in control.  Then comes a long period of not being able to eat or sleep and then I feel like a zombie and I know that I don't look well.   :(

    I am the one trying to keep everyone effected in control of their emotions. I have lost a few family members but none came as a complete shock, they were ill and their time to go was inevetable. So far I have been able to deal with death to the point that I feel I am incapable of extreme emotion at a time when everyone is totally devistated. I convince myself that they are in a better place and any tears that I would shed would be pointless. 

    ROMOS

    Same here ed, no answer necessary from me now.
    Thankyou...R

    I think I just get stupid, can't think straight or reason really just want to be alone.

    jhharlan

    You have a lot in common with others.......Thank You.......

    I lose my head............ sorry couldn't resist.

    jhharlan

    ha ha and thank you........
    FISH-O

    Do you drop the thing? Augh!.... Sorry, that would totally freak me out.
    Headless Man

    Yes, and I get quite dizzy as it rolls across the floor..........lol

    There were three, all by telephone, all when I was far away from those I needed to be near. My first reaction was shock, then I crumbled with the phone still in my hand, and cried. Shortly I gathered myself together and took charge of the situation. I still cry. I still ask why bad things happen to good people. I still haven't gotten an answer.

    pej

    We usually get answer, one way or another, but not the moments we need it. All the puzzle do come together in one somehow, someday.

    Like most men I appear calm on the outside, but inside my mind is racing. I usually the time to console my friends and family and either pray in a quiet place or just in my mind.

    I try to appear calm, but I cry alot. Shock and crying.

    I got one of those horrid unexpected phone calls once and I think I said "what" frantically about 6 times. when I hung up the phone I felt like I was slugged with a baseball bat in the gut!  That was a while ago and so much has happened since.  I now only a few things would profoundly effect me.  Though I do get  highly irritated at the divorce proceedings.  

    I know how I reacted, but I'd like to read more........

    FISH-O

    You reacted just fine. :)
    jhharlan

    Thank you, I'm hanging....(just fine)

    I feel sad for those who have a need to grieve. Many close friends and family have died. I do not grieve because for me, there is no death. My friends are all alive and well, even those whose bodies are long dead. My grandmother and her sister come by to visit with me from time to time and many others also who have died years ago. There is no death only life and I am sure some day the continuance of life will be known by you as well.  

    Broken. Cant handle bad news. Dread It

    One word "denial"..most of the time at least.

    I get very quiet, I need my space.  I'm a very private person. Some mistake it for lack of caring, that's not it. I care to much. I cry in private. I don't share this emotion.

    i cry alot in my bedroom. dont want any one to see my weakness. how would i be able to keep them strong if they see me falling apart?

    Ducky

    Moderator
    Very hard on you though. :(

    I feel I need to appear to be in control, and I did like to think I was until my husband picked me up from hospital for a few hours, he offered to buy me new clothes, smaller ones that would fit, it was then I lost it and said I didn't see any point, he was shocked to see I was for once unable to control my emotions, I tend to be calm, but only on the outside



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