close
    why is it illegal to slap your children

    +6  Views: 2208 Answers: 33 Posted: 12 years ago

    33 Answers (1-30 Displayed)

    Loving discipline never hurt me.. My mom slapped me, chased me with a broom..  I learned from the experience, I never did the same wrong twice!  Today kids are the boss, their parents are subject to child abuse for a loving discipline slap.  This is wrong IMO.. 


    before anyone jumps on the Dr. Spock wagon, please understand the difference between child abuse injuries and mistreatment resulting in sickness and even death-- Please do not relate this terrible thing with raising your children and an occasional 'love slap' as discipline.  We are in a society now where we have school shootings, we have no respect for any authority at school, home or on the streets, kids that grow up understanding that they can get away with anything because there is no discipline-- 'Shaking a finger 'no-no Johnny' does not work. .  Time out doesn't work but a good swift shock to the butt will!  Even across the face open hand, just hard enough to make a slap sound. 


    If parents would take back control of their children they will grow up to be outstanding adults rather than the whiners/pouters standing on street corners throwing garbage at police and asking for free handouts.  A loving slap of discipline is not child abuse. Please do not associate love with cruelty-- Or discipline with cruelty.. 

    Tommyh

    You said the key word Vinny.Parents take back control.
    I can't remember hitting my kids,so if I did it was pretty rare.But I have seen plenty of kids that could do with a good slap.
    ROMOS

    A lot of todays kids could do with a good kicking as far as I,m concerned Vinny,but I still think discipline begins at home, I got a good few beatings as a kid ,I probably deserved it but hey, I NEVER hit any of my kids,they turned out OK, a growl from DAD said quite a lot in my house,I still think it,s wrong to smack.
    Headless Man

    The more you say the more I agree with you.......TU
    Vinny

    Romos: I have a son, he is going to be 33 next month, I can faithfully say I have never taken the hand to him-- Never had to and he's turned out fine. So, it's not like I beat my kids into submission, however I was raised in a different time when smacking your kids was the norm, ironically, people of my age went through this we never took guns to school and shot classmates, we were never in trouble for much more than being caught smoking or an occasional fight. When I did wrong at school, I got a 'swat' from the assistant principal, had to bring a note home to parents for signing and then I got a swat at home too! Of course at the time, I thought my world was coming to an end but I learned not to make those mistakes again.. My parents are gone now but there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of them with love.. I look back now and actually laugh as i cherish those discipline days as i know now that it made me respect authority.. Today, IMO we have so much violence in young people because they are not controlled due to parental fear of being separated from their children.. when in fact, this teaches kids that they can do and say as they please, the worst they will get is a finger shaking and time out.. big deal! We have people in prison today that WANT to be there because they have a better life in prison than on the streets and discipline is practically nothing. Perhaps we should slap around these people so they don't want to go back to prison and they know that they need to straighten out their lives on the street or they will get slapped around again.. We are too lenient! I believe this needs to change.
    mycatsmom

    Vinny, I thought YOU were about 33, but you said your son is . Hahah. Anyway, we missed you.Glad to see you're back.

    I wish my old man had only slapped me at times.He would use a belt,a stick or anything he could put his big hands on. I admit I was a rebel but his punishments were over the top at times & usually in anger. Still I don't think any emotional damage was done to me.I got over it & vowed it wouldn't happen to my kids.I don't know who gave the do gooders the right to make it illegal tho.My personal opinion is if the milder disipline doesn't work then you have to step up the programme a little bit.A slap....yes.A flogging....No,remember,we love them...they're our kids.

    bluesman1951

    Mid school students are part of the future serial killers of America . One could say school is prep for their future stay in the state pen . I enjoy being outrageous in colourful comments (flogging ) LOL !!!!! I am sure there is a word for it ,just dont know it .Little gang bangers with foul mouths its a family tradition here ,Grandpa was or is in the joint and is for sure in one of the homey gangs . What do we expect ? I dont know what the solution is but as I get older I know what the old bull feels like as the young wolves circle looking for a weakness. All I can hope for is when the day comes they will regret messing with this old bull .I had the same experience growing up as you maybe worse his beatings left me sitting in a bath tub full of ice to keep the swelling down . Left at 16 and never looked back .
    Tommyh

    A bath full of ice would have been great.My old man was too mean to buy the ice.LOL
    bluesman1951

    The ice brought more pain ,but also covered up his beating it was not kindness but self preservation that motivated the ice. I promised the SOB that I would piss on his grave . Family had him cremated so now I have to find that damn container to keep that promise .Life's a pain sometimes .Made a survivor out of me ,should be grateful for that . Bill
    Tommyh

    I suppose,in a way Bill we should be grateful that they gave us a model to work off & improve on.Don't waste a good piss on him mate.Move on & enjoy life.I do.Tom

    Because it is considered un-necessary abuse. Nobody ever told my mom that.........

    Depends where and how hard, a slap on the butt never hurt anyone, for long...........


    I had plenty.............lol

    The ones who ride the city bus to and from school should be flogged daily . Foul mouths and no respect,no manners ,no discipline. Rude little peckerwoods !!!!!!! To answer your question ,soft hearted feel good law makers said it would be so ,now we live with it until someone says old school ways are better and we dust off the paddle . Simple as that !

    Perhaps a smack across the arse should be legal..

    nanabarb

    It is legal in most of the states as long as you don't leave welts or bruises.

    Because it,s WRONG.

    It is not illegal here, though something that is not encouraged and is in hot debate, though I in no way condone violence or child abuse of any kind, I did give my kids a smack on the bum when they overstepped the limits when they were young, and living next door to 4 very cheeky, screaming and demanding children I wish their mum sometimes would too!!

    When l was a lad (so long ago) l had discipline at home and at school and both included physical punishiment.


    Nowadays home or school no one is allowed to do this anymore, to my mind the world is a much more dangerous place because of this.

    ROMOS

    Totally agree, but it,s still wrong,discipline starts at home, too many people nowadays have been brought up with no discipline whatsoever, no respect for their parents or authority,a course in military training would teach most of them a little respect for life and society.

    If that was the case when I was a kid my mom would still be in the pokey. She was so quick with the back of her hand. I never seen it coming. I was such a smart ass. My Pop on the other hand would lecture us (my brother and me, for hours it seemed. then when we thought we were in the clear, he would spank us. Shit , I sure miss them, 

    lewboy

    Asmack only hurts for a short time, the lesson can last a lifetime

    I tota;ll;y agree with Vinny. When I grew up, the teacher always carried a long thin stick that he used to point at the blackboard and  if we were not paying attention or talking to someone while he was explaining things we had to hold our hands out, palms up and we got a whack on each hand..Needless to say, everyone paid attention after getting whacked just once,Disrespect for a teacher was another punishment at home wit a wooden spoon. I learned pretty quick what the rules were. When I did not came home on time for supper, the wooden spoon was waiting for me.It only happened a couple of times. Now that I look back, kids had more respect for  other people..To say, that its illegal to slap your children is not helping them. Sometimes its the only thing that helps.

    ed shank

    100% correct.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    My experience was the same...long sticks, wooden spoons....whack!!! Learn to behave or else!

    Because it is a form of physical abuse..and physical abuse can get worse over time.  Also, in most cases it is unnecessary. 

    lambshank

    keyword doo is most, I agree there

    I don't think it is necessary, in that there are other ways of disciplining a child. I was never a stranger to physical punishment as a child, but I just don't feel that's the right way of doing things. I think a loss of privileges, or a heart to heart talk is often more than sufficient.


    I just feel that we need to remember that a little kid is a person too, and they are deserving of respect, just like anyone else. I just don't get it how someone can look at a little kid as their property to beat on. Most decent people don't even treat their animals that way, why should kids be treated with any less respect?

    lambshank

    shootah, I agree about respect,both for children, teenagers and adults, but reasoning and withdrawal of privileges doesn't work with a wild toddler who insists on dashing onto the road, trying to pull things off the stove,hiding from you in shopping centers etc,etc, sometimes a warning just isn't enough to curb the behavior,I'd rather have a healthy child with a smacked bum than a dead undisciplined one

    I was a little hellyan and yes I really think there was no other alternative for dad when I got my butt spanked. Sometimes sitting a little one down in a corner and saying please don't do that anymore just doesn't work . I don't feel I was ever abused, But I can tell you each time I got it and why to this day. The one time I didn't get it and I really thought I was dead, A Deputy sheriff came to "talk to me" I was around 10 maybe 11 years old. My dad looked at my brother and said lets go inside these two need to discuss something.. 1/2 an hour later mom was crying as he read me my rights. That he had to do in front of mom and dad since I was a minor. Maybe watching mom and dad that day was enough, he didn't even want to talk to me. And40 years later that same deputy and I are good friends.

    Want to see some slap action, go to Walmart.  I won't say why I think its prevelant there but it is.  I have my opinion. 


    Only a small percentage of parents, IMO, don't have the brains to understand the extensive effects physical abuse has on children.   I'm sure many of us understand by living throuigh it what the affects of abuse are.  (spelling?)  The USA writes laws which affect many due to the actions of  very few.


     

    Vinny

    I don't go to walmart but I sense a statement of superiority in your saying that and associating it with child abuse. You clearly don't come across as knowing the difference in child abuse and child discipline-- If of course this child is injured physically then of course, this is child abuse. You are correct that abuse of children affects their lives and they in turn will abuse their own offspring, not to mention batter their wives and mistreat their husbands.. However, scolding with a slap is not child abuse--
    caddam

    Vinny
    You used the term loving slap, in my mind the word is spank, thats not abuse unless its extreme, I think you will agree. If its clear to you that I don't know the difference between abuse and a disciline spank you're not understanding my answer. I go to Walmart, Lotsa good deals there. Too bad you're above that. Don't know what you are missing ! Associating Walmart, the place I go to shop, with child abuse is your rediculous statement. Who ever said 'go to Walmart and watch the kids get beat"? I'll stop here.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    caddam..."Want to see some slap action, go to Walmart. I won't say why I think it's prevelant there but it is. I have my opinion."

    These are your words...what do they mean???
    caddam

    Ducka
    Just likieI stated "I won't say" -- these are also my words

    The use of the strap and cane have been abolished from schools,that is a message in itself that it is a form of abuse.How many parents do you think would tolerate thier child getting the strap or cane at school nowadays, we would be laying charges.

    nanabarb

    If a child is used to being reasoned with on a regular basis, When they really get out of line, it usually takes only one smack on the bottom to let them know how serious you are. This can be combined with sitting on a chair for a short period of time. No real hard and fast answer except that parents need to let children know very early on that the parent is the final authority. I do not believe in straps or canes, but I do believe the schools have deteriorated with kids knowing the teacher has no authority.
    ed shank

    I wish you could have spent a day in my all boys High School with all male teachers. None of us had all our hair by years end. The teachers would grab you by the hair with one hand and punch you in the side of your head with the other. You later thanked them for not having to have your father take a day off of work to have a sit down with the school counselor. Father came to school once. Nearly beat me to death in the office. Had to be restrained. I did learn a valuable lesson.

    Never did me any harm at home or at school! put it this way never repeated it again so we do learn from it! there is a kid who plays in the street and he is soooo rude abuse and he beats all the kids up the little ones he is just the bully and his mother never says a word to him I think she is afraid of him also hurting his feelings well he got caught with one of these bb guns and guess what it hit the policemens daughter enough said ................

    In PA it is NOT illegal to strike your child as long as you leave no permanent marks on them. Source: Lackawana county prosecutors office.

    the boss man

    It should be that way everywhere

    it's child abuse.  it hurts kids, physically, psyhicly, emotionally.  It's oh so disrespectful!  unless the child is engaged in an action that is putting them or someone else's life at risk.  Also how would you like it if you were 6 feet tall and something or somebody came along that was 16 feet tall and they slapped YOU. . . . that's how kids feel, helpless and hurt.  plus in California if you slap your kid somebody can come to your home and take them to the shelter.  And it takes a lot of work to get them back. Court, supervised visits, mandataory parental training.  Rather than hit your kid, find a church you could attend for the whole family.

    the boss man

    No one said hit the child. They said slap the child. Theres quite a difference there.
    tabber

    thanks bossman and with all due respect. I worked as a social worker for a couple of years. & have worked with kids for over 20 years. When I was a social worker I did a lot of supervised visits. One couple had two children. A girl and a boy about 7 and 8. I asked the mom one day. How did you loose your kids. She said I slapped my son and my husband slapped my daughter. They were nice people. But they had to jump through so many hoops to get those 2 kids back. Back in the day it was ok to slapped, beat cuss out and everything one could do to their kids was done. After a great deal of research it was determined that these action hurt kids. That's why we are discouraged to slap lock up in closet and all the things humans use to do. I came from a generation where slapping was ok. It not ok in 2012. We all have to grow up whether we like it or not. Take a class on child rearing, which I personally feel should be required for any human having a baby. So many kids in this American society are suffering due to ignorant parental actions. Not to even mention what is going on in underdeveloped cultures around the world.

    Any Scots reading this may remember the Tawse. This was standard issue to school teachers until about 1980. I have one in my hand now, it is a leather strap 24" long 1 1/4" wide and split for half its length. It must have made an impressive whack.

    ROMOS

    Made in Lochgelly,2 miles from my hometown,felt it a few times in my schooldays, impressive bruises on the wrists.
    nomdeplume

    Correct Rom,mine is marked 'John Dick Maker Lochgelly' also 'L', perhaps the lighter model.

    It is a form of assault, no one has the right to lay thier hands on any body, let alone a child.There are plenty of other ways to disipline a child.

    Headless Man

    Sorry but if a child is not disciplined the child will have no respect or direction.
    Of course not in anger and with control.
    ed shank

    That mindset is part of the problem with society today. A good kick in the pants is warranted at times. Those same parents will defend their child knowing they are wrong. This is irresponsible on the part of the parent and perhaps the parent needs a kick in the ass as well as junior.
    pythonlover

    Moderator
    Would you hit your pet if it is misbehaving ?
    ed shank

    Pets don't go out in the real world and have to interact with people for their bread and butter. The sooner they learn that there are consequences to bad behavior the sooner they can be productive people. Animals should never be beaten to the point of injury. They should be taught that a mild smack on the snout indicates that they have done something unacceptable.
    the boss man

    Yes HITTING is assault. Slapping is controllable and they get the point out. Put them in timeout, whats the punishment?
    nanabarb

    Some children can be reasoned with, but others can't. I do not believe in slapping as I feel that is humiliation of the child and done in anger. But a good spank on the bottom for repeat offenses is a good way to make the point.
    mycatsmom

    Python, No, I would not hit my pet if he/she was misbehaving. I would try to redirect him/ her .

    Children grow up and tend to return actions like a slap in the face by a person who is 5 times their size, at the time, with an action of revenge that may be far more devistating on the person who attacked them as a child. Time allows resentment to grow into a hideous monster of seething rage and venom, capable of murder by direct action and/or covert hostility.

    a slap is different from a spank.


    A slap is usually given, because the adult has lost control. Your sending the wrong message.


    "You pissed me off, therefore I am going to hurt you." What did the child learn, POOR SELF CONTROL.  You just taught your child to hit  in the face when they get angry. It is never okay to hit a child. There are better proven ways to discipline, and they work. It take more time, but isn't your child worth it? A child doesn't think like and adult, they can't.  If you talk to your child, and not at them, you'll have a better behaved child. If the only time you do talk to your child is through discipline, The parent is the one with the problem, they are clueless on how to be a parent.


    Do you know your child's favorite game, friend,color, toy, or clothes?


    Do you know his teachers by name?


    What bus number does he ride?


    How  involved are you as a parent?


    To be a good parent you should know everything about your child. That sends a positive message him/her.


    You'll understand your child better, and know what level they are on. 


    You can not beat sense into a child, you have to teach them.


    Hitting a child is cruel and ugly. It scares the kid, he does not trust you anymore. How can you trust someone that would hurt you out of anger? You ever see a mom or dad raise their arm to reach for an item, their kid is standing close by, and the kid ducks? That's called abuse.


    You want to control a kid, explain the rule to them and the punishment. They disobey take something they value away for a short time. Doesn't matter, makeup, computer, cell phone,car,bike, outings. You have that power. Use it.


    Praise goes a long way too!

    It hurts. But I don't get why children can do it and get away with it.

    Daisy!

    because their children, they are learning. Not all get by with it. Their are 3,000 kids in prison.More if you count the training schools. Most of this is from poor parenting.
    You teach a small child not to hit, this mean you don't hit either. Our children think we can do no wrong. They will copy our behavior.
    I always thought it was wrong that the schools didn't teach a class on how to rear children and treat others. Most people don't need this class, but we have 6 million people in prison in this country, and children in prison and training school is at a shocking high.
    The stories they tell about the abuse from their parents is a nightmare. They were beautiful little kids turn into monsters. Poor Parenting skills.
    Adult are suppose to be the mature ones, they know right from wrong. Hitting is never the right answer.

    Is not illegal but is not reccommended for all the reasons shown in so many good above answers...

    society will make a monster out of your child. i had children services down my throat for 13 years. i was accused of having dirty clothes, never doing housework, lids not having toys, i was accused of the whole kit and kaboodle, every time they came to my house the always found the accusations unfounded. did they leave me alone? no. not till i moved away from that county. i had 5 kids. and they all thought they had allies with children services and they could do as they wanted. you know i had hell to pay with them, thinking all they had to do was accuse me and here they came. i went through hell with these people. you never saw them at the neighbors hous where they owned 6 dogs shitting every there. seems like the always picked on people who was trying to always do the right thing. we were never without food, utilities or the other basics of life. i washed clothes in the bathtub for God sakes. cooked for a small army. i was busy from sunup till i fell exausted in bed. that wasnt good enough. and it all started with just one call and one accusation. they stripped me of my parental rights. thank God they are all grown up now. its a wonder if im not in the loony bin.

    Chiangmai

    I am very inclined to believe you that your neighbor reported you to the authorities. How did you derive at such a conclusion? ...I too suspected that our neighbor reported us to the Zoning Dpt. and they too found nothing, after repeated visits spanning a period of 9 months. Our solution? We put up fences and pretty blocked off the view of our property so now they can't snoop any more. Lastly and painfully for them, I tell all the other neighbors that this particular neighbor is a snitch.

    Thats why this country is in the shape its in. we have Dr. Spocked them all up to a point of no return, lets not spank or discipline our children anymore lets just be there friends or give them time out.

    i have never hit my children,i just think its wrong.i would always try to explain the facts and hope they got the point.there are all sorts of views on this ,this is just mine.

    because it doesn't teach them the desired behavior that you are trying to get out of them; or the behavior that's inappropriate. In fact, most parents who hit or slap their kids do so b/c they're angry, not because they're trying to teach them acceptable behavior. Also, when you slap or hit your kid, you're teaching him to slap or hit his wife and / or kids.  So, it creates a viscious cycle.

    Some children can be reasoned with, but others can't. I do not believe in slapping (in the face) as I feel that is humiliation of the child and done in anger. But a good spank on the bottom for repeat offenses is a good way to make the point.

    chelleanne

    I TOTALLY AGREE!
    pythonlover

    Moderator
    So the child that you can't reason with gets the smack on the bottom and he/she continues to misbehave, how long do you keep the smacks going ?


    Top contributors in Current Events category

     
    Headless Man
    Answers: 18 / Questions: 3
    Karma: 5295
     
    ROMOS
    Answers: 68 / Questions: 1
    Karma: 5025
     
    Benthere
    Answers: 11 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 4290
     
    jhharlan
    Answers: 55 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 3945
    > Top contributors chart

    Unanswered Questions

    XIN88
    Answers: 0 Views: 3 Rating: 0
    Hello88
    Answers: 0 Views: 1 Rating: 0
    Hello88
    Answers: 0 Views: 1 Rating: 0
    123B LIVE
    Answers: 0 Views: 6 Rating: 0
    FIMY SPA
    Answers: 0 Views: 7 Rating: 0
    RIKVIP
    Answers: 0 Views: 6 Rating: 0
    > More questions...
    461718
    questions
    721615
    answers
    776916
    users