caringdad
13 Answers
FISH-O
Ducky
See a counsellor and learn the best way to explain your situation to your loved ones who may have a difficult time understanding. This may help to make things a lot easier for you and for them. Keeping this "secret" (some may already know or suspect) must be horribly stressful. Please give them time to learn and understand....lots of time. It won't be easy for any of you.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
Mr.Den
Colleen
You have suffered your life trying to do the right thing. Those who would think this is a choice, I hope they hear the pain you've lived having to live a lie all your life who you were born to be. On the flip side, you did gain a family through your choice to play straight, I just hope they can support you in your decision to find real love and hopefully a soul mate to make the last of your years truly beautiful ones. Everyone deserves and has a right to have total and complete happiness. I say you step up and take what is rightfully yours. Find your happiness and if your family loves you the way you've loved them by giving up so much of yourself for them, then they will support you all the way. I wish you the very best. Do not let any bible thumping judgers tell you are wrong for wanting this either. It's your life, embrace it and be happy! Step out of the dark and into the light. The closet is not for you anymore.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
mycatsmom
Lots of men in your situation have come out and still stayed married, if that's what you want. They have some kind of agreement with their wife. Your cirlcle of frineds can't be that conservative, that you don't feel open to them about it. They 've prob known it for a long time , anyway.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
itsmee
What a question! It would be a terribly sad situation for your wife but as things are now the relationship probably isn't more than friendship. (Friendship is a lot ) You would risk losing that.
As far as living an out, true, free life I might guess it's very possible. You might be surprised at how many of your friends and acquaintances already know. I wonder how your employer would take it or maybe you're retired?
If you are miserable, you have to do something. Your children are adults. They do their own life. You could lose them but if you did, I don't think there was much about a good relationship anyway.
I feel a bit lonely in answering this question, caringdad. I hope my words did offend you. I hope you'll respond.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
To eggplant: Oh, I know. Of course!
Colleen: I am upset with those who said he could not be gay in this world. I guess your comment was directed to eggplant. Just wanted to get that straight.
zorro
eggplant
Have you been having sex with boys and men while you were married? I find that concept disgusting, considering what you do to each other. You might have exposed your wife to all kinds of dangers. Have you thought about that? I have no pity for you at all. Why did you get married in the first place? You should have told your wife before you married.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
I sympathize with him because I know how I would feel if I had felt forced into living a lie. I know the misery I would have lived because of it. The choice he made was not as easy to make as you are trying to make it Eggplant.
This is 100% true Ducka. That is what was believed.
Chiangmai
Yes, I am sure the world is more accepting now, especially other parts of the world like the far east. Perhaps they are more secure about their sexuality over there. Therefore, I believe there's a good chance your children already know and are accepting of the situation.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
@ Ducka, I agree with you.
Clonge
http://www.coming-out-of-the-closet.com/
| 12 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
michmar118
If I understand you correctly, you are not sure if you should continue on in personal unhappiness or endure the agony of enlightening your family of your true orientation and try to move through that. Definitely the latter is the hardest initially, but it will set you free to be your true self eventually. The other choice is not so difficult, not shock and wounding, but it is a life sentence. "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". Yes, it is extremely difficult to come forth to loved ones with this kind of information, but it is the truth, and in the end truth is gracious as it tends to even and smooth things and feelings out to be accepted and dealt with. You just have to have the strength to follow through for a time. Best of luck and support for you.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 3 | |
Ann
Headless Man
I feel sorry for you because it won't be good whatever you do.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 2 | |
How am I being judgmental, I'm the one being honest, I didn't wish anything on him.
Your the one closed minded.
