but what about me?

    my guy and i have a lot of issues and i am definitely in a cross roads in my life, my mind knows and keeps telling me i need to leave him but my heart keeps saying to stay.. i honestly think that if we didn't have a baby together i would of left him a long time ago. my son is so attached to him and he is a wonderful father to him..

    +4  Views: 901 Answers: 11 Posted: 6 years ago

    11 Answers

    Either poop or get off the pot.  You know your answer already and you've been answered already........

    Although you worded it a little differently,  your question has been "WELL ANSWERED" many, many times.  You cannot expect everyone to keep trying to convince you of something.  Do you want real answers or just continuing drama?

    If you do nothing to change things ... things will be exactly the same in a week from now.  If you don't change things in a week from now ... things will be exactly the same one month from now ...

    The definition of insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results.

    -Benjamin Franklin or Albert Einstein ... depending on what you read and where.


    I thought Oprah originated that saying ........

    No ... the "Ah Ha moment maybe"!

    Ah Ha...I thought it was Dr. Phil.

    You are probably correct... Oprah is just the hostess with the mostess.
    I actually have only seen half a dozen of her programs.

    If you are not happy in this relationship, don't be in it, especially if the pair of you are arguing or not getting along, an environment such as this is not good for your child to be around.If he is such a great dad don't deny him seeing his child let him have access.Move on and make a better life for you and your baby.


    Well said, pythonlover.

    Only you can answer this. When you've truly had enough and you think better of yourself, you will leave him. 

    CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE.   If your son grows up in an unhappy home where his parents do not have love and respect for each other and their relationship, what skills and expectations will he take into his relationships?  History tends to repeat itself.
    Your son, your BF, and you deserve to live in an all-around healthy atmosphere.
    Get out of a bad relationship.  But sit down with baby-daddy and discuss what the two of you will do together to make sure your son has the best of both of you. It's important for him to see you respecting each other and NEVER badmouthing the other. He needs to understand that, ideally, mom and dad love each other and you live together as a family.  This is not ideal, but staying together is not what is best for any of you. 
    I would suggest the two of you consult an attorney and settle custody and visitation, support and other legal matters. Remember that your SOLE PURPOSE in that exercise is to provide stability for your son.  

    People do fall out of love. You grow in different directions.


    My goodness, man. It's 1:30 AM here in California. It is 4:30 in PA. Can't sleep?
    ed shank

    I haven't slept in days. Don't know what's going on. Stopped coffee, Bud, sugar still can't figure out why. Maybe it's being alone lately. Wife has been really busy with work and doesn't get home till the weekends, if that. Thing is I actually like living alone. This too shall pass.

    I'm a night owl, too, PKB and Ed. It's 4:49am here in my time zone. And no, I'm not just getting up . I never went to bed :-\
    ed shank

    Insomnia sucks. I should be drop dead tired but I'm not. I think I found the reason. I recently sold everything in the shop, so therefore nothing to do with my time and no more physical activity to wear this old ass out.

    You  really are a spaz arn't you


    That's not a nice response, Dunc.

    It may be from exhaustion.

    Half the world as been in, or is in her predicament at one time or another they either grin and bear it or leave ,she just as to make her mind up and only she can do that weigh the pro's and con's so to speak

    Once you've had a child, you have to do what's best for him.And having his father in the home, as well as his mother is what's best for the child........especially b/c you said the dad is a good dad.If you feel locked in with the man b/c of the child, you had a lot of time to think about that before you had your son.

    If you Love him and want to stay what are the things you can/could change inside of the relationship?  Yes, it takes 2 to Tango..but someone is 1st to the dance floor ( Or, if one person changes thier attitude, how they "fight", and what they do to be happy has an impact on the other person- and they usually change (if even slightly) to fit into the relationship better.  My Ultimate advice is to do things that bring you happiness and peace..and to follow that inner voice you have.  All of this while respecting the relationship and your BF

    spaz12, you have received some good answers and some flippant ones. Only those that have experienced similar situations are better equipped to answer. here is my take:

    1. IF there is any way you can save this marriage, DO IT - it will require a lot of give and take. So take time to sit with him on a weekend retreat. AND talk.,keeping your CHILD AS CENTRAL to his education. If argument ensues, take a break.

    2. List in writing what your final compromised issues are and how to deal with them

    3. If at the end of this retreat, you both conclude that it is best to end the marriage, that will be the beginning of a process eg child custody, visiting rights, distribution of assets etc.

    Best of Luck to all three of you. God bless./.

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