close
    What are the conditions you place on love?

    I know that is a weird question, but I think it's valid.  How many of us are so openminded  that we would consciously allow ourselves to love someone who might be destructive, abusive, demoralizing, heartbreaking, and inappropriate. SOMETIMES we DO find ourselves loving someone completely "WRONG".   I've done it myself.  BUT, when I think about the man I want to be in love WITH, I do have some criteria.  How about you?

    +11  Views: 3501 Answers: 28 Posted: 10 years ago
    Daddy_D

    I want to start by saying, There are NO conditions to LOVE... Love is; "The Benevolent act of UNCONDITIONAL, TOTAL DEVOTION to the NEEDS, HAPPINESS, & WELFARE of another"..... There are no different kinds of love. Only this is the one & true love. It is Gods Love, a never ending gift to us all. There can be no changes to love. The only thing that may change is the relationship,or the status of it. Outside of that, any conditions on love, will never be true love. And this is the LOVE that I will continue to share with ALL THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. I hope my comment helps all that read it...& I wish you all the Best.(:
    valR

    If that could work the woman that I wanted to be in love had not be destructive, abusive, demoralizing, heartbreaking, and or inappropriate. I don't know how else to give an answer in such a small space to a genuine question that could have only a hypothetical answer - in my opinion...
    robertgrist

    Unconditional love is open and in this present moment…now, the only time there is. There are no tricks or bribes in unconditional Love, it is simply now. There are no promises, lies or misdirection. Escape to the worlds of time and it all sounds like bargaining to me. In Now, all is still, peace fills every breath of this present moment. Why are there so many meditators there awaiting glimpses of Paradise and onward to the timelessness of Heaven..Nirvana…Wonderland you silly rabbit.

    28 Answers

    When dating its fine to put conditions on who you will date, people don't fall in love at first site, they just think they are and sometimes it turns into real love.


    But if I was single I would not date anyone that was not a christian, if God wants you to be married He will find you a mate.

    Dollybird

    God found me a mate, now husband, who is not christian. Not all christians are perfect, are any religon.
    Bob/PKB

    Randy: I agree with your assessment completely. Having been married to a spiritual but non-Christian man, I know that if God wants me with someone, that man will be a Christian. I look forward to that day.
    Dollybird: No Christian is perfect. No one said they were.

    There are no conditions on the love that I have for my wife,children,grandchilden.


    They are as much a part of me as my heart,my life.

    Jenn

    Yup I still love ya!!! You are too sweet!.. you remind me of my hubby!

    I love my wife unconditionally;


    I love my parents unconditionally;


    I love my children and grandchildren unconditionally.

    itsmee

    I don't think you and Tommyh will mind if I copy. It's late. I will use your minds. <3

    I love my husband unconditionally.
    I love my daughter unconditionally.
    I love my three little grand daughters unconditionally.
    Benchong

    I don't mind at all. Have a nice day.

    My love is unconditional, close-up or far-away. If I am treated disrespectfully I am inclined to be elsewhere. But I love unconditionally even if I have to be at a distance. If I am gone enough, I am sincerely missed and I talk about respecting each other. Life and love is a 2-way street. When you say “no”, you should be respected for your choice. “No” is a power word that calls for respect. Practice saying “NO” , you are in charge of your own life.     

    my wife and i have an agreement: i don't see anyone else and she don't bang me off the head with a frying pan..

    Jenn

    oops.. I broke one of those conditions!
    Dollybird

    Jenn, I hope the condition you broke, was not frying pan, lol.

    As Franklin has said Truth and to talk anything and everything and be a best friend

    Trust and respect.

    Having criteria means you are not in love. When you are in love, you are blind. The world would be just as beautiful as colorful roses in your eyes, and the ears would be filled with birds singing love songs.

    Bob/PKB

    When you are already in love, yes, I totally agree with you. My question does not presume one is already in a loving relationship. "When I think about the man I want to be in love with....." confirms that I am searching/waiting/hoping or longing to meet "Mr. Right". I do have some hopes for that person (being single is right up at the top of the list, for example). I suppose asking something like, "What qualities does Prince(ss) Charming have for you?" would have made more sense. Some people may be able to keep from falling in love because a person wears glasses or doesn't have a college education (conditions). I'm not one of those people, either.
    Jenn

    Schu.. keep talking like that and I am going to fall in love!
    cucumber

    Oh! sweet mystery of life at last I've found you..
    itsmee

    'Colorful roses in your eyes?" Oh my.

    "Splain it to me Lucy," said Desi Arnaz to his wife

    "Friendship"

    I have no conditions for my hubby..  I will love him for ever... However, no matter how much he is loved..  I will not tolerate disrespect or any type of abuse... towards me or my children.

    Infused with or feeling deep affection or passion towards another,this can take you on a roller-coaster ride that is sometimes hard to get off, what is love ? and should there be governance conditional or unconditional placed upon it ?

    Play it by the rules Wedding Vows if you are lucky and find the right person (as the saying a marriage made in heaven ) it is a two way split be honest love be open no lies then you have a happy life and wife ,like me and my Josie.Fifty years not a cross or hurtful thing said that my friends is what it is all about.

    melandrupert

    see dowsa you have become a loving doggie with the right woman called Josie god bless you both! love ya mel

    I rub your back, you rub mine.

    Love my kids and family  but  falling in love with another woman   is out of the question  got burned too bad   last  go around.   aquaintances

    Headless Man

    That's how I felt until God changed my mind.

    truth,respect...communication does wonders.....

    Bob/PKB

    Very important factors in a relationship. Without those, it really doesn't stand much chance of being anything more than like a cardboard standup. Thanks for responding!
    Now you know why I love dogs, their love is totaly unconditional at all times.
    How can you put "condtions" on love "I`ll love you if" nah don`t ring true.
    Bob/PKB

    Good morning! I really must've worded the question wrong...I meant are there certain deal-breakers and deal-makers you look for BEFORE diving into a reltionship. Do you have red flags that you adhere to, or do you just forge ahead whenever you are attracted to someone. That's what I was trying to relay Does it make more sense??
    PEOPLELOVER

    Good evening, 8.34 Australian Eastern Standard time.
    I don`t think diving into a relationship is a good idea because like diving into a river you do not know what is under the surface.
    Softly softly catchee monkey, but we all have certain guidelines we use unknowingly as regards a relationship.
    I mean a relationship not a bed buddy quickie.
    Don`t think I am a prude because I am not. I have had more one night stands than a stand up commedian.
    A relationship involves mutual understanding, respect and caring, it entails allowing the other half of the equation to have some "me" time

     trustworthy, honest, productive, active, a reader, someone who likes to dance, tour, go to plays, loves Ballet, museums, educated, caring,witty, have humor, empathy for others and kindness.Accept me for who I am, and not try to change me.


    I am not open minded when it come to the following.


    I will not put up with a liar, thief, abuse of any kind., or any type of narcissistic behavior.  I will not allow any man to rule over me. Destroy my dreams. This is someone you run away from, not run to.


    I am independent, strong willed and free.


    My grandma use to tell me" God gave you a brain, use it". Why would I allow someone to think for me?


    after saying all of that, I am a bit to aggressive.Hehehehe


    I have seen to much abuse, and it makes me mental!

    PEOPLELOVER

    I assume Daisy you are single and not in a relationship?
    Boy you make a big pair of shoes for some poor bloke to fill. What can he expect in return?
    Daisy!

    everything I listed, Is what I love, and considered myself to be. Why would I want anyone less than myself? Lower morals, someone to bring me down. I want someone to build me up. These interest are not uncommon. The honest, witty, humor, compassion and empathy,shouldn't be uncommon either.
    Today it seems rare. God have Mercy!
    Bob/PKB

    I absolutely adore you, Daisy. You have an outlook that always seems to project happy and good.
    I put Randy's answer in Best because I think it went to the core of "my issue".
    Your list, and the comments you shared with Peoplelover are perfect, too. Why can't there be two best answers!!!
    Daisy!

    Thank You Bob/PKB, That means a lot. I never thought I was asking for to much. I want a person with interest,active, and good moral character. Why would anyone settle for less?
    cucumber

    yes ! daisy might I suggest you and a mirror could live happily ever after

    I can't answer this question Bob...Lambshank and I are kindred spirits and I am letting her do the talking.  Thanks Lambshank.   It's all too strange considering we live in completely different countries and yet...

    Bob/pkb I have kept in touch, though only occasionally now as I have remarried, but I still love to hear the voice of the person thats still in my heart and the person that made me laugh (and cry) I often wonder if he had accepted the help that I tried to get him how things may be different now, dropping him at the rehab centre,( I might add he had no idea where I was taking him) was the hardest thing Ive ever done, he will always have a special place in my heart.

    Love the person unconditionally.  This doesn't mean love until he has cheated, is old, sickly, unemployed, poor, handicapped, and impotent.  The reason why the divorce rate in the this country is so high is because we believe in love until some bad sh*t happens.  Then we go to court to fight like hell for the money to get even with the b*stard, the very person you promised to cherish and love in the first place.  What a joke.


    Good question though, Phyllis.


     

    I believe you can love with all your soul and still have criteria, I loved, and probably still do my 2nd husband, we were together for many happy years, and many unhappy ones,I walked away, not because I didn't love him, I couldn't watch him destroy himself with alcohol and I had some respect for myself. Its been a long and difficult road, there is not one day I don't wonder about him (I know he's now o.k, I put him in rehab) I loved him enough to know his only chance was without me.

    Bob/PKB

    Your memories can almost be felt, you have written eloquently, lambshank. Loving an addicted person is heartbreaking, not only for what you sacrifice in the relationship, but for the self-destruction you are unable to stop in the one you love. This is true for family, friend, spouse....it doesn't matter.
    Do you think you might want to contact him some day?

    none. conditions make it businesslike.

    Give as much as you get.

    NONE.

    "There is only one kind of (Love) that can make us feel the way we all want to feel, (Love Unconditionally) ! " ;)

    I think the truth and being yourself.I f you pretend to be someone that your not then its almost like lying in a relationship and that wouldnt work out.Just go with what the person wants and you could please them.But of course depends what they want, you dont have to go along with everything.Example if he wants a night out in the cinema then dont argue, thats what he wants so please the man.Its not hard.But these days people are hard to please as well, so there is always that to content with, which is why i think alot of people like to be single.Hope this is comforting my lovely.I like your questions there really nice.Emmaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Placing conditions on love would mean you treat love as you would treat business...

    Bob/PKB

    Many people have not read the "fine print" below the question. I value your thoughts, valR, most of the time, and I am asking you to read and think about the whole text that I put with the question and get back to me. Thanks!!
    Bob/PKB

    I don't think this is hypothetical in the least. People make lists for the grocery store. They make "bucket lists" for life experiences they would like to enjoy. You certainly CAN have a list when it comes to who you want to know better (or not). For example, I would prefer to be married to a non-smoker who does not use "illegal drugs". I'm looking for someone who doesn't need me to supplement his income. Someone who snow skis may not be interested in me because I don't snow ski. If you want to go out dancing every Thursday night, I'm probably not going to be much fun because I dance poorly. Do you want someone who enjoys puzzles and reading, or do you want someone who can't miss Jerry Springer? You OK with a gal who is 5'2" and weighs 350 lbs? How about 5'2" and 80 lbs? There ARE qualities you look for in people before or during the get-acquainted period. It's not hypothetical at all....people just don't want to admit they have conditions.... maybe they call it "preferences". Same thing.

    true love should have no conditions x



    Top contributors in Other - Family & Relationships category

     
    jhharlan
    Answers: 107 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 11730
     
    Benthere
    Answers: 5 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 11690
     
    FISH-O
    Answers: 55 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 8640
     
    Bob/PKB
    Answers: 70 / Questions: 30
    Karma: 8270
    > Top contributors chart

    Unanswered Questions

    buy Trimix Injection online
    Answers: 0 Views: 5 Rating: 0
    buy Trimix Injection online
    Answers: 0 Views: 5 Rating: 0
    I need the best golf iron handicappers
    Answers: 0 Views: 5 Rating: 0
    > More questions...
    447451
    questions
    717544
    answers
    700521
    users