How to handle my 7 year old?

    i have a 7 year old child (boy) who is the middle child...he gave me real hard time...from birth to 5 yrs of age he used to communicate by CRYING only! even though i never encouraged him and asked him what he said.. he never wanted to use his words to speak... somehow after 5 years he was able to speak his problems and concerns... then started another prob. the first year of his preschool he kicked and screamed daily and refused to get on the bus... i thought it was the separation anxiety thing... later after 8 months of struggle i found out he didnt like his teacher! every year i have this problem its almost the end of the year and he refuses to go to school every single day... i spoke with his school guidance counselor, his teacher to talk with him... i found out his first grade teacher is very strict... now i dont know how to address this to his teacher who is fond of restricting a child to a chair and making him act like a robot! i mean comeon after all he is a child... instead of making him follow certain rules she is putting the impression of him TO DISLIKE school/studies... i gave up on this... every time we have a meeting she either says he needs outside help or gives me a chart of rules to follow in the class , if he follows he gets a gift from the gift box weekly else he wont.. and guess what that chart is for HIM only :(
    i would love to know what steps i should take to improve his schooling and he has taken all of this negatively by becoming more aggressive, upset and saying he hates school! this has also affected his health and overall growth!
    Moms and Dads please guide me!

    +1  Views: 2621 Answers: 18 Posted: 13 years ago

    18 Answers

    Your child may have psychological issues that manifest into behavioral issues. I would, if he were my child, have him evaluated by school and private sources, then get an IEP as needed.

    I'd probably have uselessly spanked him out of frustration. DO NOT believe everything he tells you. Ask the teacher what's going on. Your kid can't disrupt the classroom without consequence. is he behaving now, five years later ?

    If you were to live in Canada, a pediatrician, a teacher who recommends assessment and a support system are needed.  'Handling a seven year old' are key words.

    I do hope things have turned out well as this question is five years old. 

    It was stated that there was a problem before he went to school "...he gave me real hard time...from birth to 5 yrs of age he used to communicate by CRYING only!"

    It sounds like he has behaviorial issues, and the school is just magnifying them. I would contact a good pediatrician and a child psychologist and have him tested for physical and mental health issues.

    The child is acting out not by choice, but by bodily reactions . Hormones, or something similar. An excess or low levels of something is affecting his brain functions. Start with blood work. Use drugs as last resort!!! Seek several doctors advice. Don't let them make the decisions, you do that, but with their advice. Something is affecting the problem solving - decision making process that the brain does. It could be something as easy as an allergy, or more complex as nervous system. Have your water tested for high levels of nitrates or other contaminates. 

    Your 7 year-old is now 12. What did you do?

    Because of the unions and not being able to fire bad teachers this kind of thing can happen. However in most cases it is the parents fault as much as the teachers, not enough discipline at home then at school were you have to have some kind of order.
    Maybe the teacher did this to your child only because he was the only one that need it, sounds she was trying to reward him for being good, but I don't think it is right to reward the bad child for being good and not the rest who are good. Set up that meeting but listen with an open mind as the truth is hard sometimes. He might need outside help, if they think he does get it.


    Agreed, help needed at home. Too many people make their kids afraid of too much. Kids who get abducted are afraid, kids sexually abused are afraid...they need to know that they do not need to be afraid of you, unless they lie.

    in a college course I took in the field of education, the  professor said that rewards work greater than punishments. And she had us memorize the 10 reasons why rewards work greater than punishments for the test. A different course I took in the school of educ at EMU  was taught be a professor who raised 3 sons; and he said one of the reasons that a child  must go to a psychologist was if they had school anxiety resulting in him / her  refusing to go to school.

    Thnx Dean....i know my child...all kids at age 5 would like a little attention...thats normal...he is basically shy...will not misbehave in public... if someone really gets on his nerve or he has been teased for quite sometime...then anyone would react... also i forgot to mention that one day they had flu mist in school ...he assumed that it was flu shot he hid under the table for the first time in his school..and i had to go to school to take him out ...second time he went under table was when his teacher said he hasnt good relations/understanding with his teacher... and i am calling for a meeting with everyone! thnx once again xoxo

    I would begin by going to school with him and spending a few days in class with him to observe him. Then, go from there.

    Headless Man

    He will act better with mom in the class, unless you can get in without him knowing your there.

    What about the principle and the school board and have a meeting with them to discuss exactly what is going on? Get to the root of the problem.

    guess what happened baby came home crying...he said i hate school...i hate my teacher...she is mean...after i assured him that i will talk with her and that you just follow her rules he felt better...i assumed he got scared from the teacher again... :(


    talk to the other moms / dads and find out if they and their children think the teacher is mean and horrible

    well i didn't work just to spend more time with them,like other moms just love my kids, he is not pampered or any psychology issues,as the doctor does the physical every year and i address my concerns about him with pediatrician..someone told me its just the middle child syndrome :o and its with all middle children.:o and he doesn't have behavior problems, if he did then the first thing the teacher would mention would be he fights, or hits someone, doesn't share all the social thing i know about him is he is a sensitive child...he feels embarrassed when he is pointed out in class

    Headless Man

    If its just a middle child syndrome, why are you here deal with it. but i think your wrong if evert thing you say is so.JMO

    Establish a set of behavioral rules and when he breaks one, ensure he is punished consistently. If that takes a spanking, then so be it.

    Too many paraents are afraid to discipline their offspring because they fear their children won't love them later. That's a myth. You can't be a friend and be a good a parent.

    Children love even the most abusive of parents. However, harshness is as unhelpful as reluctance to punish transgressions. Consistent enforcement of acceptable behavioral standards is the key. Before a child can love you, he or she has to respect you. Without respect, you are a failure, and you plant the seeds that will grow into much greater control problems as the child ages.

    In addition, you risk being one of those embarrassed parents you see in stores with raging brats, screaming like banshees because they can't have something on the shelf. At that point, it's too late to expect a child to respond to attempts to make it behave.

    Those type pararents are losers. Parental discipline has to be in place at all times, not just when the family goes out.

    if your kid have syndrome......pls mind what i say....sorry... just give him lots hugs...dont worry about it you cant control him joy all the time good or bad good luck

    Well i has to blunt with you...You dont have enough bond with has to play with him doing many things also let him social with friends let friends sleep over your home............Also how do you cook his food......Better not in microwaves /dont use any foil kill kids health.and effect him bad mood .....I believe bond is key thing for kid s confident with any function needs ........Be creative with him.... Where is his father...........

    You will not like this but it works. If he has never been spanked do it and do it well. Whe he calms down tell him you will never do that again if he cooperates with the teacher and most other children's habits at school. If it works, great, if not, continue until it does. 123...hand paddle belt. No success is rare but if nothing physical works see a child Psych. Do not "coddle' him or future results will produce a wimpy kid with no friends. I have 2 girls, one boy, 6,7,8,. Only had to use the method on one and all is fine. (No wierd stuff, just spank medium with all clothes on).

    MP, RRT, ex Pro football

    For starters, if the chart is for him only, this raises major concern as this seems quite unjust to begin with. The problem may be the teacher and you may need to bring this up a notch by pursuing school directors/principals!

    If the problem is your child, which only you really know, be honest with yourself about this one.

    like me and my 5 year old premature big boss. Then you need to invest a lot more into correction

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