3 Answers

Next time, be nicer to your wife.

Try any of the following:

1.  Place a thick sliced cucumber over each eye.  Do this daily, coupled with lying down for 10-15 minutes.  Keep your eyes closed.

2.  Apply cool tea bag or an ice cube wrapped in a soft cloth to your eyes daily.

3.  Put a spoon in the freezer for 10-15 minutes.  Take it out and cover the circles with it.  Hold it there until the spoon is warm.

4.  If you are a smoker, quite smoking.

You need to let it run its course.

That black and blue is blood under your skin. It needs to dissipate on its own.

Years ago they used LEACHES to remove some of the blood under the skin.

If you don't happen to have any of those little fellows at your disposal,  I would suggest make-up till it heals.