14 Answers

This is not a question that can be answered because each person is totally different. Most people start to grieve after the shock of loosing someone has worn off. This isn't something that can be timed. I do believe that the shock will last longer for some than others.

Some people just can't believe the other one would leave and not take them into consideration, or take them with them, or just plain leave them behind at all. Our emotions are very fragile, some people's emotions even more fragile than what is considered normal. Those people, I do believe, suffer the most.

12 years ago. Rating: 21
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When my husband died I was only 41 yrs. old. Reality did not set in until 30 days later and I then I really bottomed out.For me it was about 5 years, before I felt normal again. Everyone grieves in a different way. Time is a great healer.

12 years ago. Rating: 14
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Difficult question to answer. When my husband died of a heart attack I was fairly together for about 10 days (this is the blessed shock period). Then it hit me. All the friends and family had left and I was ALONE. For me the worst of the sadness and depression was from 6 months to a year. It took about 5 years for me to be "normal" again. Grief is a very physical and emotional thing to go through. I really disliked it when people told me to "stay busy". That was a crock of crap. That only delayed the grief process. You can't run and you can't hide.
You will have to walk throught it. You have many sisters at your side. I was fortunate to get into a young widow's group, I was 47 whe he died. Way to young to think of myself as a widow.
There are many who are willing and capable to help you as you go through this difficult time in your life. One of the things that kept me going was the fact that he did not have to go through the pain and grief of my passing before him. I loved him too much to want him to go through it.

12 years ago. Rating: 13
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I can give you my answer. My wife of 63 years has been battling Alzhiemer's Disease and depression for years. She was no longer the woman that I married. I had to do almost everything for her but I loved her no less. We had a wonderful life together before AD set in.

She finally took her own life and I am devastated and I know it will be a long time before the pain begins to ease.

12 years ago. Rating: 13
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They say that there are 7 stages of grief.It sounds like this is one of them.I hope you have a family to love & talk to.The lonliness will be painful but try to fill it with family.Think of the good times & have a laugh.Most of all hang in there & you WILL get thru it.My condolences.

12 years ago. Rating: 10
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Marmite, good to see you haven't been here much lately. I think it will always be painful especially after the person becomes a part of you, so sorry for your loss. Time does seem to lessen the sting and strength of grief, thank God. I just try to think of all the good times when remembering a loved one, I think that helps cushion the loss sometimes.

I also take comfort in the fact that they have moved on to a better place than this earth. It may help to find a book that helps you deal with the terrible loss you've experienced. I'll do a search and see what I can dig up.

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Coping with the Death of Your Spouse
The loss of your spouse through death is a heart breaking ... to marry for love ... not because you are lonely. Books for ... Before You Get Married; Is An Emotional Affair ...
marriage.about.com/cs/widowswidowers/a/rebuildinglife.htm - Cached
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Age Page: Mourning the Death of a Spouse
Mourning the Death of a Spouse . When your spouse dies, your world changes. You ... to check out books ... Get help from your family or professionals if you need it.
https://www.nia.nih.gov/HealthInformation/Publications/spouse.htm - Cached
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How to Cope After the Death of Your Spouse
Here's coping suggestions to help you after the death of your spouse. ... your own life. Don't let the kids take over ... Before You Get Married; Marriage License & Laws ...
marriage.about.com/cs/widowswidowers/ht/deathofspouse.htm - Cached
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Coping with the death of a spouse or partner
Facing the death of the one you love The death of a spouse or ... and family for as much support as you need. Over time ... member, or financial advisor can help you to ...
https://www.thelightbeyond.com/death_of_a_spouse_or_partner.html - Cached
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How to Live After the Death of a Spouse - wikiHow
How to Live After the Death of a Spouse. Coming home to ... He or she is far better prepared to help you ... If you are not a cat person get a dog, or whatever pet makes you ...
https://www.wikihow.com/Live-After-the-Death-of-a-Spouse - Cached
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Dealing with the Death of a Spouse - Marriage - Families.com
Dealing with the Death of a Spouse. by Lyn Newton | More from ... Some will try to get you to quickly begin dating ... I turned it over to them to help me. And they did!!
marriage.families.com/.../dealing-with-the-death-of-a-spouse -

I found quite a few, I'm sure most are available for purchase on Amazon.com. Hope this helps, take care.

12 years ago. Rating: 10
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i still have dreams about my husband after 6 years. he was abusive, i didnt realize i loved him till i held him in my arms while he passed. he was very sick from years of alcoholism, black lung, diabetes, seizures, kidney failure,God knows what else. i used to think that i hated him because when he was drunk he was a real arse hole

12 years ago. Rating: 9
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this can differ from each person I know when my Dad died my Mother coped really well until about 3 months later then she went to peices as for me I recented my Dad dying as he had left me and I was the eldest which was left for me to do everything I know now that I was being selfish and I was so upset I wanted to be a little Girl again and not be grown up and face all the responcebiltys that grown ups have to do I still miss him dearly

12 years ago. Rating: 8
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My first step father died fifteen years ago and to this day I never shed a tear. I loved him dearly. His mind was gone and his organs eventually failed. I think about him every day still, we had a great relationship, and I did whatever I could whenever he asked. I thanked God that he took him. I grieved for him while he was alive and a shell of a human being.
Grieve, cry, scream, your entitled to what ever your emotions tell you. Avoid the well meaning pep talks from the family and friends. Everyone,s situation is different.

12 years ago. Rating: 8
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sorry to say this and I did not mean to mislead anyone but I have not lost my husband.My mother in law has lost her husband and we are trying to help the best way we can.It is so difficult he was ill with cancer fot 2 weeks then died very suddenly but peacefully.At the moment it is like she has not registered his passing,we are allchristians which is a great comfort.Although I could not understand my husband and his mumsitting laughing at a comedy film the same evening as we had the funeral.Even now at the moment I feel really upset I had a really good relationship with my father in law and miss him so much,cannot sleep so upset,sorry if people misundrstood

12 years ago. Rating: 8
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I'm a widow too. I think you're just numb, b/c that's God's way of enabling you to think straight for awhile to make the arrangements,go out and buy flowers for the casket, clean house for company,change the beds,cook, go thru the funeral,get all your affairs in order.....all the paper work, go to the Soc Sec office,sell his vehicle, sell your travel traiier or cottage, etc, and all that.

12 years ago. Rating: 7
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I don't think you need to put a time table for getting over the grieving for your loved one. Let your heart heal at its own pace.

12 years ago. Rating: 5
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wildfarm ~ I doubt that you'll ever read my comment. I couldn't type in the right place. I hope you will come back. this place is good therapy. You've been through more than most. welcome new friend. itsmee

12 years ago. Rating: 1
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Probably never, but that isnt a bad thing, cause as time changes doesnt mean that your memories do

12 years ago. Rating: 1
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