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    should I leave my husband?

    if i'm not happy with my husband is it a real good reason to leave him?

    0  Views: 1534 Answers: 11 Posted: 7 years ago
    Tags: unhappy

    11 Answers

    If you buy or rent the movie Fireproof it will help you with your marriage and change your life.

    cubanicamami

    SEEN IT.. TEMPORARILY.. ITS TAKES FRM THAT PERSON TO WANT TO CONTINUE IT. I CAN BE HAPPY .. I CAN MAKE HIM HAPPPY. TRUST ME I HAVE ALOT OF PPL THAT LOVE ME HOWEVER I JUS WANTED TO HELP HIM BE HAppier person...ima finish writing tmw,. geting tired/need sleep

    It sounds like you need to do some self work. You have to find happiness from within. I can promise you that if you are unbalanced that way, no matter who you find yourself with, the same feeling will rear it's ugly head. You say your a happy person but miserable in a relationship because he is not working on himself, but are you? Are the two of you going out on dates anymore to keep the spark ignited? How has he let you down? I am not quite understanding what he has been doing to make you unhappy. I just have to say again that you really have to find your own happiness. Thinking someone can make you happy is really putting a lot of onus on him. Try hugging more often but not a quick hug, hold on to one another a little longer...let it linger...a soft warm kiss for no reason can be a beautiful thing, run your fingers through his air as you kiss him.Hold hands when you sit together. Give him more reason to want to be happy with you as well.I can well promise you that he most likely shares in the same feelings as personal energy is infectious.Sometimes if you just act like the marriage is a healthy happy one it soon becomes one. Try this out...I think you might be surprised. Your child deserves a loving family...not selfish parents expecting one another to make each happy.There are already too many families broken and believe me in saying that you have to work at it...both of you...for her sake.Just be the one to act first...I think you will be amazed how things turn around.Your family is worth it!

    Best thing I've always found for myself when I have a question such as this, what would I tell my every best friend? What advice would I give them? So, what would you tell your best friend? I think you know what you want to do. You're just looking for affirmation that it's the right decision ; )

    PEOPLELOVER

    I wasn`t game to say that Colleen but I think you may just be correct, looking justification.

    PEOPLELOVER

    You answered your own question "I want a better time" you do not appeer to be mature enough to be married to anyone sorry to say that but I also was married at age 22 long before I was mature enough. Maturity is not a number in your days years alive it is a state of mind. To me again with apology the fact that you send your messages in garbled "today talk" is evidence of your lack of maturity. Write correctly and do not be a sheep to those who want to be "different" but are really all the same> Personal question Was he your first lover in a sexual sense? Could explain a lot.

    PEOPLELOVER

    Sorry you mistook my comments offered to assist you, as crticism of you and every thing about you. We have to deal with the specifics we are given on this site to offer help. To me your specifics are, you are in a marriage you are not happy in, you type your comments in almost illegible wording of a teenager in some groups of today, your spelling is not always correct which to me indicates , probably through no fault of your own, you had at best a mediocre education. this is NOT to offend but to establish a starting point at which to help you.I left school aged 14 years in 1946.

    cubanicamami

    I LIKE THAT.IMA DO JUS THAT.I KNW WHATS BEST 4 ME AND MY DAUGHTER.HE NEEDS TO OPEN HIS EYES.HIS PROBLEM IS LACK OF COMMUNICATING.DOESNT SHARE HIS FEELINGS BARELY.I SUPPORT HIM IN EVERYTHING.HE IS TOO LAZY AND LAID BACK .IM THE OPPOSITE.I THOUGHT MY EXAMPLE WILL BETTER HIM AND HIS MIND FOR HIS FUTURE,OUR FUTURE.I DNT THINK HE IS TRULY READY FOR THIS.EVEN WITH HIM BEING 31.MEN DO TAKE ALONG TIME TO GROW UP.I JUS DNT WANT TO CONTINUE WAISTING MY TIME IN SOMEONE THAT DOESNT REALLY TALK MUCH NOR DONT HAVE MY BACK.IM ONLY 23 YRS AND I WANT A BETTER TMW.I DNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN SECURE US A FAMILY...

    cubanicamami

    thank u but no thank u. i am not completely matured, but not blind. these eyes have been thru alot. me n u are two dif ppl. yes i might sound confused, but jus basically spilling it all because like ureself ppl dnt really listen outside nor inside the box. im ready for commitment but why should i continue waisting my time if a 31 year old man isnt willing to commit after 5 years. u tell me if i am not matured enough. i can work. take care of my daughter and esc.and no he isnt. its alot of love involved . shows alot frm ur behalf. btw have u check the rest of the comments. u think u knw it all.

    Yes. Leave asap. Every day you stay is another day wasted. If you don't enjoy one anothers company, whats the point.Know whats making you unhappy though. Could be your expectations for happiness are unreasonable.

    He must have made you happy when you married him. You a bit vague on why you are unhappy with him. 'Unhappy' is not without reason, what's the reason??

    cubanicamami

    vinny... i wantee to call it off then ..lol.. but i didnt cuz my parents payed for everything. rings, party, food and alot more..it would of been embarrasing. i knw i should of done it then.. nows its been 5 years later..

    Really, the only reason to end a marriage should be abandonment or infidelity. Most people have unrealistic expectations of marriage. Marriage is hard work and compromise, if you really ever truly loved your husband you should try to make it work.


    Communication is huge, if you're not talking about the problems, nothing is getting resolved. If you have to go see a counselor, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but it really isn't.... So many people blame their spouse for most or all of the problems, the problem is we have to look long and hard at ourselves. We are probably at least 50 percent of the problem.


    I hope you will continue to work on your marriage, it's so easy to just quit. Most of the best things in life are the ones that you had to work hard at to earn. The more problems you overcome in your marriage the stronger it will become. Best wishes, Leeroy.

    PEOPLELOVER

    You are not clueless you are obviously at your wits end trying to sort out your marriage. The fact that you have admitted to the problem is a start. Now you need to discuss this with your husband. You are sending a mixed message to us when you say "he makes me unhappy" "I am a happy person" "nothing has been done eeh maybe a little something" As for not giving himself time to be a better person when you just said he was a nice person is confusing.Not being facetious but I have heard the phrase " A woman spends 20 years trying to change a man and then says " You are not the man I married"

    cubanicamami

    thanks leeroy.. u have a big point..makes alot of sense.. but if a person that has been spoken to about the same things over and over again and nothing has been done or mayb eeh a lil something..they is a reason y he makes me unhappy.. im a happy person , however has let me d0wn many times.. so far what do u think about that.. and i have given him tme..i knw he doesnt cheat on me, he a nice person but doesnt give himself time to be a better person .. i dnt knw im clueless. five years with a 2 year old girl . same problem frm we were dating at 6 mnths

    leeroy

    I don't know if you've ever heard the expression; Don't go into a relationship wanting to change somebody? If you love them for who they are in the beginning it's much easier to get along later in the relationship.


    Hope everything works out for you, marriage is a lot of work, if anyone says something different, they are either the rare exception or not being honest.

    I think that is only a question that you can answer and one that should not be taken lightly. God Bless and wishing you the best and that you make the right decision.

    Yes, absolutely. Leave him immediately and get on with your life - never look back. Be free! Be lonely! Be single! Be by yourself! Eat dinner alone! Be sure to get a good pillow to snuggle with! Be concerned about diseases! But never ever worry about what life could have been because you deserve a real life! Happy with another person? How could that ever be a realistic goal? Get out while you can!

    Colleen

    Moderator

    LOL bluedeath. Some people just aren't meant to be together. She already stated she knew she made a mistake marrying him. That's on her. I'm single, have been since losing my GF 15 years ago. Have not wanted a relationship since and I'm far from lonely. My life is a great one. I'm loving my single life. Will I be alone forever? Probably not but right now, I'm enjoying it. If she's not happy, she's just going to make him miserable. She needs to do the fair thing and leave. One can not find their happiness in another.

    Colleen

    Moderator

    Who are you not agreeing with? I took what bluedeath said as sarcasm. Maybe I was wrong.

    Colleen

    Moderator

    That's the way I see it too Blue, that's she's looking for people to validate her wanting to leave.

    Colleen

    Moderator

    I agree. I'm not knocking marriage or any kind of relationship. I was in a long term relationship and lost my partner in a car accident. I'm still healing from losing her. Maybe someday, I'll want to be in a relationship again. I don't really think about it. I just live for now and enjoy what I have.

    Mike42

    I don't agree with you. Life was great while I was dating. She was the true love of my life. Having a mate is important in anyone's life for guidance and support. Your mate help neutralize who you are and not be so subjective.

    bluedeath

    Half sarcasm: The fact she felt the need to ask perfect strangers who know nothing about her relationship meant she was either asking for sounding board, or for permission from others to feel better about herself. What I was attempting to do, and I admit I probably did not do a very good job of, was to remind her of the bad things about being single. Either way it is her choice, but I just hope she goes into it with open eyes. Also, she needs to read, "Divorce Dirty Tricks." The book is full of very important things she must do before filing or asking for a separation. Read that book!!!!!!!!

    bluedeath

    Mike42 must have been a real ladies (or man's) man. I don't want to make assumptions of his sexual orientation. All I know is when I was dating, AIDS had just hit the scene and suddenly sores on the mouth and other areas no longer seemed like such a big deal. Now I've been married 18 years, and I would not go back to being single. Its all about who you find, and how much you are willing to put up with the dumb stuff the other person does. It's also about friendship, because as the lust dies down, the friendship grows. If you don't have friendship in a marriage, ya got nothin'.

    bluedeath

    Good way to live. Live, Love, and live the best you can. In the end, have as few regrets as possible.

    ok how about a trial seperation say 3 months thats a fair time it will sort things out one way or the other yes there is great advice been given to you from all the others but im a man of action and i beleave in 3 months u wil know whats what from his side and urs ofcourse u would keep in contact there would bee things u need to talk over but thats how i see it with out knowing ur personal details ect it will cause a shake up a do or die situation some real sole searching on both sides it will give u the answer thats for sure
    best of luck

    Leave. If a woman is not happy, marriage is broken. A man can live with a woman without love, but a woman can't.

    Is "He" happy with you, do you think? If not it probably is best to talk it out now while you are still able. Try to see both sides and work on it. Good luck.



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