7 Answers

Birth of a Candy Bar

One Payday, Mr. Goodbar wanted a Bit-O-Honey, so he took his old lady, Mrs. Hershey on the corner of 5th Avenue & Clark. He began to feel her Mounds and to him that was an Almond Joy, which made his Tootsie Roll! Then, he let out some Snickers and slipped his Butterfinger up her Kit-Kat, which of course caused a Milky-Way! She screamed O-Henry! , and she squeezed his Peter Paul , & said, your better than the 3 Muskateers! She soon became a bit Chunky & 9 months later gave birth to Baby Ruth.

14 years ago. Rating: 5
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Judi and JoAnn are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke,
when it starts to rain Judi pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her
cigarette, and continues smoking.
JoAnn: What in the hell is that?!
Judi: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
JoAnn: Where did you get it?
Judi : You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, JoAnn hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces
to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely
(she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of
condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.

14 years ago. Rating: 5
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The inventor Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson
Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the
gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such
a good man and your motorcycles have changed the
world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you
want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I
want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to
the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of
woman?"

God said, "Ah, yes."

"Well, " said Arthur, "professional to professional,
you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1.. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end
protrusion.

2.. It chatters constantly at high speeds.

3.. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too
much.

4.. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust
and finally,

5.. The maintenance costs are outrageous."


"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied
God, "hold on."


God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a
few words and waited for the results. The computer
printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it
may be true that my invention is flawed," God
said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more
men are riding my invention than yours.

14 years ago. Rating: 4
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they asked president obama what he thought of the mideast position? he replyed "i don't mind but it hurts michelles' elbows!

14 years ago. Rating: 2
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A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY WAS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THOUGHT HE HAD BEEN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE WENT IN TO SEE WHAT HE WAS UP TO. THE LITTLE BOY WAS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUT THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPPED THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HIT HIMSELF ON TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.

HIS MOTHER SAID: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE."
BILLY SAID: "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE POTTY YET".

HIS MOTHER SAID: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES, BUT BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"



BILLY SAID: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP"

14 years ago. Rating: 2
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AMERICAN JUSTICE! AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

14 years ago. Rating: 0
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THREE YOUNG BOYS BRAGGING ON HOW MUCH THIER DAD COULD EAT. THE FIRST ONE SAYS MY DAD CAN EAT AWHOLE JUMBO PIZZA BYHIS SELF. NO. TWO SAYS MY DAD CAN EAT A WHOLE BUCKET OF CHICKEN WITH ALL THE FIXINS. THE THIRD ONE SAYS SO WHAT. MY DAD CAN EAT A LAMP. THE OTHER BOYS SCOFFED. HE REPLIED JUST THE OTHER NIGHT HE WALKED BY HIS PARENTS ROOM AND HEARD HIS FATHER SAY TURN THAT LAMP OFF IM GOING TO EAT THAT THANG

14 years ago. Rating: 0
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