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    what is the funniest joke gaurented to make enyone laugh

    +1  Views: 437 Answers: 7 Posted: 14 years ago

    7 Answers

    Birth of a Candy Bar

    One Payday, Mr. Goodbar wanted a Bit-O-Honey, so he took his old lady, Mrs. Hershey on the corner of 5th Avenue & Clark. He began to feel her Mounds and to him that was an Almond Joy, which made his Tootsie Roll! Then, he let out some Snickers and slipped his Butterfinger up her Kit-Kat, which of course caused a Milky-Way! She screamed O-Henry! , and she squeezed his Peter Paul , & said, your better than the 3 Muskateers! She soon became a bit Chunky & 9 months later gave birth to Baby Ruth.
    Judi and JoAnn are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke,
    when it starts to rain Judi pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her
    cigarette, and continues smoking.
    JoAnn: What in the hell is that?!
    Judi: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
    JoAnn: Where did you get it?
    Judi : You can get them at any pharmacy.
    The next day, JoAnn hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces
    to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
    The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely
    (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of
    condom she prefers.
    'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
    The pharmacist fainted.
    The inventor Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson
    Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the
    gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such
    a good man and your motorcycles have changed the
    world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you
    want in Heaven."

    Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I
    want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to
    the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

    Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of
    woman?"

    God said, "Ah, yes."

    "Well, " said Arthur, "professional to professional,
    you have some major design flaws in your invention:

    1.. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end
    protrusion.

    2.. It chatters constantly at high speeds.

    3.. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too
    much.

    4.. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust
    and finally,

    5.. The maintenance costs are outrageous."


    "Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied
    God, "hold on."


    God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a
    few words and waited for the results. The computer
    printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it
    may be true that my invention is flawed," God
    said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more
    men are riding my invention than yours.
    they asked president obama what he thought of the mideast position? he replyed "i don't mind but it hurts michelles' elbows!






    A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY WAS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THOUGHT HE HAD BEEN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE WENT IN TO SEE WHAT HE WAS UP TO. THE LITTLE BOY WAS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUT THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPPED THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HIT HIMSELF ON TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.

    HIS MOTHER SAID: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE."
    BILLY SAID: "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE POTTY YET".

    HIS MOTHER SAID: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES, BUT BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"



    BILLY SAID: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP"

    AMERICAN JUSTICE! AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    THREE YOUNG BOYS BRAGGING ON HOW MUCH THIER DAD COULD EAT. THE FIRST ONE SAYS MY DAD CAN EAT AWHOLE JUMBO PIZZA BYHIS SELF. NO. TWO SAYS MY DAD CAN EAT A WHOLE BUCKET OF CHICKEN WITH ALL THE FIXINS. THE THIRD ONE SAYS SO WHAT. MY DAD CAN EAT A LAMP. THE OTHER BOYS SCOFFED. HE REPLIED JUST THE OTHER NIGHT HE WALKED BY HIS PARENTS ROOM AND HEARD HIS FATHER SAY TURN THAT LAMP OFF IM GOING TO EAT THAT THANG


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