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    What to do with a jealous ex wife

    How do you deal with an ex wife of 20 years and the daughter
    who cry and throw tantrums when my boyfriend of 7 years
    tries to talk to them about getting married to me?

    +1  Views: 1596 Answers: 5 Posted: 12 years ago
    Tags: wives ex
    whatashame whatasham

    Make her more jealous.

    5 Answers

    The ex is ex right, well leave her as the ex and out of your personal affairs or business as for your daughter I would talk to her alone about this in the kindest gentlest way possible over time I think she will accept it.

    The fact that you have an ex-wife and a boyfriend could be the confusing thing for your daughter. You already took care of the ex-wife...hence the word "ex". Your daughter has to realize that you're not her ex-Dad and that you still love her, but this is something that makes you happy and if she honestly loved you, then she should be happy for you. Tantrums don't solve anything!

    Coach

    Flip you're right. I did make an assumption, but with the confusing wording of the question I re-read it your way and it makes more sense.


    Regardless, either way my advice would be the same. Tantrums don't help!


    Thanks for the coverage Col and thanks for the input Flip.

    Colleen

    Moderator

    Actually I wouldn't fault Coach on this one. I was confused myself. I thought clarity was a gay man also. Clarity wasn't very clear in the way he/she explained the situation.

    Colleen

    Moderator

    I did see you were gentle about it and not attacking him. I think you've mistaken my comment as an attack. I was just going on the "assuming" bit as I assumed the same thing. Just covering for my bud the Coach : )

    Flip

    <a href="/users/3295/coach/">@Coach</a>... I realize you often jest on this site so I cautiously ask, are you assuming clarity is a man and the ex is his ex-wife???
    How about, clarity is a woman and the ex and daughter are the boyfriend's?? :o)

    Flip

    <a href="/users/975/colleen/">@Colleen</a>... Exactly ... And that is the reason I put the "jest" remark at the front and the "smiley" at the end.

    Flip

    Nope... didn't think of it as an attack. Just trying to be friendly. :o)

    heavenisabreathaway

    yea ,,, I wondering all this myself too ,,,

    You are correct...thanx

    Oh my gosh, I feel exactly the same way, he has let this go on for so long
    it's gotten out of control. I kind a told him yesterday in so many words
    man up or I'm gone, we have broken up many times @ this over the years
    but this time for real. They are constantly crying for money, ex wife is
    from a very wealthy family and "volunteers", does not work, daughter drives
    a BMW SUV, she is a child care provider, they both have tastes of a millionaire
    and expect my lover and best friend for the last 7 years to pay for their
    vacations, the daughter demands with tantrums that he also go with them on vacations,
    etc., etc., etc. He has been divorced 20 years. My kids wish us all the happiness
    in the world. Some people are sooo spoiled. (Me, I've been a public school elem teacher for 30 years)
    THANX AGAIN FOR YOUR COMMENTS:)

    Colleen

    Moderator

    The biggest problem is him. He's not able to let go of his family. You're not going to win I'm sorry to say. Treat yourself with the love and respect he should be giving you and as much as I know it hurts, find another who can and will appreciate you and who hopefully doesn't have baggage attached to his life. Best of luck and stay strong! You deserve better. 7 years is a long time to wait for respect ; )

    Hi,
    Thank you for the answers,
    yes I am a woman, not a gay man
    My ex is cool and has moved on in life with
    someone else. I have been divorced for 10 years
    I also have 2 children college age. The jealous
    tantrum throwing ex and daughter, who is 25 years old
    belong to him. Sorry for the confusion, but you
    guys were funny. (love the first answer:)


    Clarity

    Colleen

    Moderator

    Great! Now I can give my opinion, lol. I say this is your boyfriends problem and it needs to stay with him. This is not your headache. If he respects you and loves you as he should, then he will set the two of them in their place. He needs to be a father, not a buddy with his daughter and demand the respect from her that he should have as her FATHER, not her friend. As for his ex-wife, he needs to reinforce the fact that he is no longer her husband and she has no part in any decisions he makes in his life, ever.

    Colleen

    Moderator

    You can sympathize with him but do not get involved. Let him "man up" (not intended to be insulting) and handle his problem.



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