10 Answers

may be he`s in denial. kids tend to think parents will live forever. i know you re going through a tough time right now, and you need answers. all i can tell you at this point is sit him down and talk it through. i will keep you in my prayers.

12 years ago. Rating: 12
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Watching your father die may be too painful for him to deal with. I don't know your son but he may be feeling guilty because he is unable to do anything to help him and when he is with his girlfriend and other friends, it helps to take his mind off of this sad situation.

12 years ago. Rating: 12
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Maybe this girl that has come into your sons life is a good thing for him right now,she could be providing him sole comfort at this sad time.As for spending time with his mates this might be his way of distacting himself from the emotional pain he would be feeling.I'm sure his loyalties are in the right place towards his family.

12 years ago. Rating: 10
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At 15, there is no death, the 15 year old brain had not matured enough to think anything beyond living. Born into a world where everyone is waiting for him and nurturing him he can not feel anything but life and good. He is not old enough yet to realize what death is regardless what you think. Right now the important this is the girl, she represents life. His grandpa that he loves dearly, in his 'behind the mind' will still be there. as the years go by, death and the dying become more of a conscious thing. What he is doing at his age is perfectly normal. remember, he's only 15, he has no idea what 'time' is, let along eternity. Let him deal with it in his own way. we all go through this when young, i did, I am sure you did too. He knows but in his own way. Death of a loved one as time goes on becomes more heartfelt and understood.

12 years ago. Rating: 10
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I agree with what several of the other people have said, in that maybe it is denial...just not wanting to face the pain of losing someone. But, maybe if you sat down with him and had a heart to heart with him, and explained that it would mean a lot to your father to see him and for him to know he came. Sorry to hear of what you are going through.

12 years ago. Rating: 9
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When I look back my youth, it was all about friends. I, when I was 16, was the only one in my family who missed to witness my grandma's death because of the same reason your son has now, friends. My guilty feeling for her still exists. You keep trying, he might listen. If not, he will feel the same as I do.

12 years ago. Rating: 9
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The only way to find out is to take him aside and talk to him. Find out how he feels about his grandfather and the declining health. Find out if he is uncomfortable seeing him, talking to him or about him. If you can satisfy you questions about this, you may begin to understand why he is doing what he is doing. You may also find out that you need to reinforce some issues such as spending time with grandfather instead of playing with the friends. After all, the friends will be there next week but grandfather might not. He may need to adjusting to his thinking right now. This is a rough time for you, it would be very easy for you to act out of the emotions you are feeling, so be very careful for your sake.

12 years ago. Rating: 7
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I was the same age when my Father died. He had a heart attack and I never had a chance to say I love you. Over 40 years on I still regret that and still miss him. If this girlfriend is also his best friend she will help him through this. You are all in my thoughts and as I right this I am thinking and caring for all of you.x

12 years ago. Rating: 6
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I think your son is staying away because the grief is too intense. He leans toward life and the powerful feelings of love that a fifteen year old can have. I think most kids act this way. I think it's natural.
do your best to get over any angry feelings you might have toward him. You need him now and he needs you. (even if it doesn't show at the moment)
I am sorry and wish you well.

12 years ago. Rating: 5
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I have to agree with most of the answers here as well, it may be that he want's to be distracted right now. It may be the best thing for him. Maybe just have a talk with him that's all I would suggest.

It's extremely difficult for teenagers to deal with death, they think they are immortal anyway. You may want to spend a little time with him, and just let him know how important you feel this time is for him, and that he may regret not spending more time with him later in life?

You're in a tough spot, but the decision has to be left to you kid. He may not be able to handle it and that's why he's not around? Hope it all works out Jenn.

12 years ago. Rating: 5
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