Have I been stupid ?

    I am dating a younger guy. He is very loving and calls and txts me every day. He lives in London and goes to uni.He is Nigerian. I live in Scotland. I love him very much. Problem is he asked if I cud help him pay a £400 charge to resit an exam at uni, I thot this was weird, and wen I questioned him about it he got upset. Anyway I sent him the money. Is he lying 2 me??

    +1  Views: 3291 Answers: 22 Posted: 13 years ago

    First , off God loves U 2 much 4 u 2 be treatin ur self I this Find Jesus Christ 4 ur self man.

    22 Answers

    yes! you have been stupid but thats life, enjoy the ride, but make sure to get off at the right stop, before the fairs go up.

    So you've given him ?400 and paid for a weekend in a hotel for him. Ask for the money back. (yeah right) There are thousands of jobs going in London in bars, hotels...etc etc but he has been 'looking' Have you met his mother and sister and been to their home?
    No but you've actally met a decent Nigerian who is out of work and not a scammer...and you just gave him ?400 .....Hello?

    Is it too late to cancel the cheque?

    say no more. I am inundated with women on the Net who say they are in love with me from Nigeria After a while they always ask for money..Cos they want a visa to come and see me, want a present, need to pay a hotel bill. Have you met this guy? Usually there is a bank of people working in a room in Nigeria who advertise that they are lovely young women dying to meet you. The photos are normally false and it is some old bag advertising.They even send copies of their passports (usually it's obvious they all use the one passport and stick another pic over the original.Tell him you want to come to London and be with him when he goes for his exam.....

    Nigerians are at the root of most scams Did you meet him on the Internet by ant chance?
    t is very foolish to send money to Nigerians. That's the last you'll see of it I am afraid.




    prejudice answer.

    Thankyou for ur answers. It was cash I send by secure delivery 2 days ago and he got it yestday. I have actually spent a weekend with him in London 3 weeks ago, we stayed in a hotel, all paid by me. I have read alot online about Nigerians and it seems they are liers but there are good hearted ones out there too. He lives with his mum and sister in London and they are British citizens. He has been looking for a weekend job recently and seems genuine. But I have a gut instinct that he is not 100% truthfull.


    Sounds like all he wants is money


    Stop already. You are being used.
    I mean, unless you're OK with being stupid.

    I can only say 5 years later,,you already have your answer,,it would be nice to hear how it all panned out..sometimes there are happy endings,most times there aint..>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<..

    I do not think you should be sending him any money at all. And I truly do not think he is doing anything but using you and it is better for you if you realize that now and lose him and all contact with him. There is someone better for you out there eventually good luck and best wishes.

    Be thankful it was only once you have sent him money. Learn from this and listen to that gut feeling. There are so many great people in this world that are looking for someone, maybe try looking a little closer to home next time. Also be grateful this is not a long term relationship that you have moved away from your home to pursue. There are a lot of lucky starts left in your corner..plenty of fish in the sea...maybe cast the rod a little closer to shore next time.Remember a relationship should be 50/50 in every way!

    sorry girl.if you give him any cash you are bloody stupid or desperate!
    dont give him a penny!!

    Hey Annie,

    I agree with you on that not all Nigerians are bad people - of course they are not! Even lending your partner money can be pretty normal. But you said that he got upset when you questioned him about it. If he were honest in his intentions he would have looked somewhere else to get the money from in the first place (job, student loan, whatever...), and secondly he would have respected it if you are reluctant to giving him the money. Someone who really appreciates you will not want you to feel uncomfortable or get you into trouble.

    You can find out very easily what is real intentions are: do not lend him any more money (unless it is with a legal contract defining the refund conditions) and do not pay for any more romantic weekends. Make clear you are not Paris Hilton and can't pay for everything. Ask him when he is intending to return the 400 pounds, don't be shy about asking this. The money is yours and he was lucky you gave it to him. Don't let him blackmail you emotionally. Love and manipulation do NOT go together. If he comes up with lines such as: "If you really loved me you would help me.", the best answer is: "Well, if YOU loved ME you would respect my position instead of putting me under pressure.".

    And yes, the idea of inviting yourself to visit his family in London is a very good one! His reaction can be utterly revealing.

    Good luck and best wishes,

    Put it this way, if he asked you for $400, then he's not taking responsibility for his own way, and if you can't see that through his charm then he is probably hiding is intentions.

    Have a respect for yourself girl, I can already tell he is using you, where is old traditional values that Men suppose to take care of his women and not ask money from her. I'm just wishing you the best girl you sound like good girl and I hate to see that you are getting used like that!!!

    Sorry! But you knew the answer before asking for validation. Learn from this mistake. There are others who are honorable and moral, and would share there life. Be patient and use wisdom.

    Thankyou Papitou for ur helpfull answer. Also thanx 2 everyone else who answered too.

    People here is right ! Please don't let anybody use you! You seem to be a really good person! That doesn't mean that you can't help people... but if the man loves you back he would be very sorry to have asked you money at the first time... and he'd manage to give it to you back, as soon as posible. Also he shouldn't let you pay for a weekend in a hotel for him...You have to love yourself more.

    run for the hills while you still have some money left. Also, spending a weekend in a hotel together with a stranger is really dumb, you could have not only be out all the money but you could have ended up dead. Smarten up and don't continue communication with the loser/user. You can do better. Take Care and use this as a learning experience.


    You always go with your gut, intuition. He would have no reason to get upset if their was nothing shady behind it. "SLAP HIM" 400

    Adi is pretty spot on! Im a Christian i know Jesus and confess Him as my Lord and savior and believe He was raised up the Third day by God After taking all the sin of the world on HImself! He died For us a unworhty people! I bring that up to say through my relationship with Him and Getting in the Word of God, and by listing to some very Good men of God like Mark Driscol the pastor of Mars Hill Church and Aron Stern the Mill college age Group pastor out of New Life church and Andrew Wommak and so many others( all names might have some spelling mistakes ha but they are real i promise ha) through all that, i have a better idea of what a true man of God should be like! The reason i want to know what a real man Of God looks like is because that is what i want, i wanna be the man of God that my wife and kids look up to and strive to be like themselves. You bein the Woman of the relationship should not have to pay for anything i mean you for sure shouldnt have to take care of him! He should be taking care of you if in anyway he really wants to be your husband some day, And i would like to think you met at the hotel to go to dinner and a movie and slept in different rooms and if anything beds lol but idk but i do know if all he wants from you is to get you naked and take your money? no matter what if he is a scammer conartist or not He is not a Godly man and you deserve that in your life! You deserve Someone thats going to love you for who you are and not what you can do for you! A man that doesnt use you to get his but someone that loves and has a relationship with God almighty and can love you with the type of love that never fails! thats Gods kinda Love, agapa, unconditional Love! Your a Daughter of the most High the one and only true God!!! weather you believe it or not He still loves you and man i cant believe i even wrote this or read those answers ive done this one other time in my life haha but just i would like to see it as God is reachin out to you with HIs arms wide open just usin any way He can to let you know He loves you enough to Die for you cause he already has:) HAve a blessed Day and if you already know Jesus then build that relationship and know there are Godly men out there that would love to spoil you and treat you like the true princess you really are! If you dont Know Jesus yet then id like to be your first step to building a relationship with HIm :)He loves you unconditionaly just the way you are Died for your past furture and present sins and i mean sin isnt an issue anymore He just wants you to come to know him! here is some scripture from the Bible John 17:3 (relationship) Romans 10:9-13, John 5:1 (salvation) Ephesians 4:32 , Colossians 2:13 , John 2:2 (Forgiven) and check out it walks you through the prayer for salvation and being baptized in the Holy Ghost and if anything else its a good place to see wHo God really is and start that Realtionship right:) have a good one!

    If you don't get any of it yack feel lucky. But, if you some sine
    back-watch out- he will ask for a it more money.

    Girl...he doesn't have to be an online scammer to be using you. He may have some genuine going on but you already know your answer. Your gut is telling you. Why aren't you listening to your gut? It is my not listening to my gut that has gotten me the most seriously used by men. If you are paying for everything, is that how you want to start or maintain a relationship?
    Why aren't you listening to your gut sister?? That's where I would be looking.

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