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    Marriage trouble

    I have a few questions to ask. I have been married 2 years and I have never felt so controlled. He monitors everything I do, checks my computer history every day and then questions me about everything. I will come home from going to the store and he will act like he is pissed at me and accuse me of messing around on him. He will go threw my purse, my pockets and checks all my reciepts to see where I have been and what I bought. He is supicious of everything I do, if I get up in the middle of the night and go into the other room, the next day he is questioning me, why did you get up last night and what were you doing? If I get on the computer he knows it and tells me what I was doing on it. He took over my face book account and posted pictures on it, posts on my wall and everytime I get on it, he runs me down, I only got my face book account to talk to my family. If I go to the bathroom and shut the door, he will be knocking on it and asking me what Im doing in there (taking a dump)! He is jealous of my time with my son, and makes me feel guilty if I go anywhere with him...so we don't go anywhere alone together for the past two years I have been married we have went to the store together about 4 times.We have went to counseling but he got upset because the counselor pointed some thing out to him. He says he is really trying to change, has read numourous books ( all christen).
    Every single time he does anything for me he rubs it in my face. He makes sure I know he did something for me and he wants a thank you right away, but will bring it up over and over. When he buys grocerys on a rare occasion he will lay everything out on the counter with the reciept.
    He is driveing me crazy.. I can't stand to go anywhere because I don't want to go through the drill sargent when I get home.
    I have tried to show him more attention and love, but he is never satisfied. He tells me I don't show him enough attention and don't spend time with him after we spent the whole day together.
    Im really starting to hate him, and I seriously feel like he is a pain in the butt. Counselors have told him he is only driving me away and he does back off for a while but returns to this behavior.
    He will tell me I don't do anything for him, even though I buy all the grocerys for me, my son, his son who lost his job and him...it's killing me.. I take care of his neglected dog and buy it food.. I try to hug him and love him but nothing is enough. He will e-mail me, text me when Im at work and expect me to constantly be responding.
    Can I ever make this man happy?
    I have left him for a few days in the past and I was horribly lonely, and he talked his way back in my life..
    What should I do????
    Can I ever make this man hap

    0  Views: 2177 Answers: 15 Posted: 7 years ago
    Love

    This is something only a psychiatrist can sort out but even then they are so good at hiding(masking the truth) they wear many masks/hats.Maybe the psychiatrist will be confused``

    TSC

    Quit bitching. If she gives good head your better off than most of us married men. :(

    mycatsmom

    TSC, Your comment is nasty and unhelpful

    15 Answers

    seems like this man has some serious issues relating to brain cells not firing in their proper order, perhaps he should be consulting a psychiatrist sounds like you are walking on egg-shells around this controller, take back what is yours ,your FREEDOM good luck!!!

    there are sites describing this type of men.
    look up narcissism` is described as they are emotionally immature(never grew up)
    its all about them,they are very selfish
    they want all the timejust like a child doesif they arent able to have it they either get angry,sulky,have a tantrum or all the other weird behavior!!!!They need to GROW UP!!!
    Beware there are many men like this in the world..

    I think you should leave because the next step in his downward spiral will probably be violence.

    Leave now. Your in a disfunctional relationship. You say you have kids? All the more reason to leave. If you don't think this is screwing their heads up, wait and see how they eventually respond to their home life. It can't be easy but people find the strength and do it every day. Every day spent with this guy is a day wasted with someone who will appreciate you.
    Leave him now before you go to prison for killing him. You deserve better.
    mycatsmom

    or vice versa

    He really has a lot of problems and issues that only he can decide if he wants to get help and change. Speaking from experience that I have had in similar situation, he is a control-freak and very insecure and there is nothing you can do to change him that has to be his choice and he actually has to know and admit to himself that he has problems and issues and decide that he really wants help and to change. The decision is yours but I promise you no matter if you were glued to his side 24/7 he would still take issues with anything and everything and even if you told him 9 million times a day how much you love and care for him which you obviously do, it will not make a difference. The only difference that can ever be made is the choices he makes and if he comes to the realization and acceptance that he has a control issue and other issues and wants help and wants to change. I got out of that type situation and I swore if I had to stay alone for the rest of my life no one was ever going to have control over me like that ever again. But as I said I am not you, I can only speak from being in similar situation. God bless and I hope you make the right decision for you because you and your son deserve a good life and not one of misery.

    He seems very insecure with himself. I have been there myself but after 15 years of it I found the courage to leave, not that I recommend walking away.This is something wrong within him, please don't take on any responsibility and as you can see through the answers here you are certainly not alone.I am wondering if your husband might need to see a counsellor alone as an individual rather than as a couple where he is feeling backed into a corner.The sad thing here is the kids are suffering through all of this as well. His behavior will play a part in how they either treat a partner or look to be treated.It almost seems as if he has had some bad experiences in the past that he is holding on to and maybe getting help on his own he can start to bring forth those issues. In the end you have to realize that you have one crack at this life and ultimately if you are spending it on egg shells and he is not helping himself and improving then what is so terrible about being alone.Surround yourself with family and friends, find things that you might like to join. This is a last resort...but you have to be happy as well.

    This is no way to go through life. It will take extensive counseling to change this person. Are you willing to put the time and effort into what may result in the same behavior? Life is for living and you are being short-changed. Unfortuntely, the help you need is beyond the internet. Pursue counseling or move on for the sake of your child. Good Luck!

    http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Abuse-Marti-Tamm-Loring/dp/0787943770

    Well now, if he goes through all your computer entries and such, he now knows exactly how you feel. Whether or not this is productive for you or not, I don't know. However, he has some serious jealousy issues, more than a little bit of low self-esteem and I always thought only dogs had severe separation anxiety! Sounds like you could do better Jayne. Be careful please, just hope he doesn't blow a gasket.

    Dump the idiot!!!

    My suggestion to you is to contact a women's shelter and speak to one of their counselors. Whether your spouse realizes it or not, he is abusing you emotionally, (which can hurt as bad as physically). It is classic of an abuser to try to separate you from your family & friends, and reading how he has taken over your Facebook account concerns me.

    For whatever reasons, he has trust issues, and since you've only been married a couple of years, the cause may have been from a previous relationship of his and now he seems to be venting his hurt and distrust towards you. It is something he will have to contend with on his own. Just remember, how he treats you is an example he is setting for your son, and you do not want your son to grow up thinking this is acceptable behavior.

    I wish you the very best, and hope this helps you find the peace you deserve.

    Why are you asking us when you already know the answer yourself. Get rid of the sad sod and get round here to me ,i will show you how you really need to be looked after.


    rok

    You can't change someone that doesn't want to change. False threats won't work either. You need to decide if you want a life with him or one without him. If you stay, when you have options, perhaps a counselor would be of help to you. He needs help. Either he sees that and really wants to change or he doesn't.

    im so sorry you are going through all this, i live with a man who is very controling he woke me a few nights ago and started shouting that he didnt like what i was dreaming about he follows me whenever i go out shopping ,times me even stands outside the toilet to check im not speaking on my mobile phone .he checks my receipts from shops but gets angry when he cant see the time as i might have been somewhere else,when i walk home to or from work if i cross the road in a slightly different place he accuses me of having been in a car.i had thought i was the only person to be living this personal type of hell but it sounds like you are to.i should say that i have never been unfaithful or played any games like that all i do is sleep eat and go to work.he works at the same place as me so can watch me there to.Lately i dared join a book club one hour once a month hes going mad imagining all kinds he says hes followed me and im not there but i am its all retired ladies so no threat to him but im gonna be strong and keep going even though hes not spoken to me other than to shout abuse and make rude gestures for 12 days now.iguess the answer is to leave but its my house last year i tried but it was hellish and i gave up i hope you find a way out good luck i somtimes think i will die before i get any peace.x

    mycatsmom

    That obsessive jealousy is an illness.


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