How can I get full custody of my child when it's born if I don't have any proof it's Father is unprepared and unfit to be a Father?

    I'm 19 years old and only 2 months pregnant with my 18 year old ex-boyfriend. He's told me he's done a lot of terrible things (most of them are illegal) and showed no remorse for doing them, but I don't have proof of any of it. He threatens on a daily basis to "file for custody" of our unborn child for at least visitation right. But I don't trust him to make the right decisions about who's around the baby and what's being done. Him and all of his friends smoke pot, and until recently so did I, so if I bring that up in our case I'm afraid he will too. Like I said I don't have any proof he's done or is doing anything wrong but he's told me he has, is that enough to at least get supervised visitation?

    0  Views: 2447 Answers: 6 Posted: 13 years ago

    6 Answers

    You already have full custody. After the child is born, he needs to go to court and first off claim and perhaps prove he is the father. Then he needs to prove you are an unfit mother to get full custody, and unless you are (QUIT SMOKING POT!), he won't get it. Then he needs to file for visitation rights, and that is the point where you bring up your concerns to the judge, providing witnesses or evidence to back up your claims of his drug use etc. If he brings up that you smoked pot, get a drug test done immediately before the court date that shows you are clean. The judge might give him supervised visitation rights, where a person from child custody will supervise him while he has the child in possession. However, this guy sounds like a slug, so I doubt he will go through with any of this.
    ole hipster

    Totally wonderful answer! (:
    usually the mother has full custody of the child anyway,if you feel uneasy about him around the child,go with your instincts and deny any form of contact.He will probally take you to the family courts so he can gain access to the child.Then you can voice your concerns to the authorities,he will no doubt be granted visiting rights if he is the father,but it can be arranged that his visits are supervised.Good on you for showing maturity at such a young age.Take care and all the best to you and your child.
    leave him, go somewhere where he cant find u unless u want to stay with him.either way, you'll still need help raising the baby
    The fact that you are expressing concern for the safety and well being of your child early on in your pregnancy is a positive indicator that you are on your way to being a responsible parent.

    I agree with other comment that you don't have to let him sign the birth certificate. If ex-boyfriend want's to know if child is his or not, then HE can pay to have a paternity test done. IF this guy really wants to be a part of the child's life then he will need to step up to the plate and make some real grown up changes.

    Additionally, if you two aren't living together, he can take responsibility and pay child support. (This is something boys/men tend to run from.) Let his actions show his true values.

    As far as you having smoked pot in the past...that is in the past. The doctors and nurses will know if you are continuing to use any kind of drugs when you go in for your monthly visits. Also...and hugely important...when you deliver there will be evidence of THC and / or various other drugs (opiates, amphetamines, etc) in your urine as well as baby's. If you are clean you have no worries...if you use, then Children's Division will likely be called. So stay clean for yourself and your baby! The boyfriend won't have a lot of rights as far as baby goes, esp if you choose to stop hanging around him and his buddies.
    He's told me he will file for visitations and take a paternity test and pay child support but I think when it comes down to it he'll run from this too. I don't think he's ready to be a parent and if he shows signs of maturity later I'll reconsider. But as of right now he still wants to go out and party (drink and do drugs). His biggest concern this week has been whether or not I'll let his girlfriend of one week be around our baby. He's had problems with drugs in the past and lot of different girls in and out of his life constantly. He's also verbally abusive to me and about my friends and family. I don't want to "take his baby away from him" like he keeps saying, I just want to make sure my baby is being taken care of and taught what's right and wrong.
    You have two options either call Children and Families and tell them of the problem or do not allow him to sign the birth ceft. And in if I were don't tell him what you are planning to do. Just Do it!!!!!! Even if you don't have proof The Dept of Children and Families can investigate and threatening you is a form of harassment. I pray everything works out for you and your unborn child.

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