i would like to get some answers on how to help a lady ,break away from a bad 32 year

    mariage ,she is now very afraid to commit in any way she says it will get better soon it's been7 months no change i don't wan't to push but i could use some help to get her out of what she does not know what is holding her back.

    0  Views: 402 Answers: 6 Posted: 11 years ago

    6 Answers

    Some never get over the trauma of a divorce regardless who was at fault. If this is a relationship your attempting to cultivate, give it time. Perhaps she see's in you what she saw in her husband. Just a thought.
    Only she can get herself out. She has to make the decision all on her own. After 37 years, I doubt she'll do it. I know from experience. My mother stayed with my father until the day he died. She married him when she was 22. He died when she was 72. That's 50 years she put up with an abusive man. Nothing we tried could get her away from him even though she complained about the abuse. She said she made the agreement to marry him for better or worse.

    First congratulations on you Karmapoints. Your mother is a saint. I admire her for believing she did the right thing even after all she went through.
    Give her time sp, that's the best thing for her at this point.
    You may be waiting four more years, until she's ready if ever? If you want a relationship and want one now, go out and meet someone else. If you have the time to invest, or love her, than you may have a very long wait on your hands.

    Best thing to do is just enjoy her company and be there for her. Maybe you will only be able to have a friendship with her? Otherwise I would look up some self help books and maybe something appropriate for her circumstances? Hope this helps?
    she has been divorced 3 years not in love with him is in love with me but can't break open answers to tell me because she doesn't know how to do it.

    Well, some people are private and don't share inner feelings. You should not push like that. I'm not really getting what's wrong if she's in love with you. You have to remember 32 years is a big chunk of her life. No matter how much you love her, you can't take that chunk away from her. Why exactly are you trying to break her open? You sound controlling to me. That's not a good love.

    If you truly love her, you're going to have to accept that she may never trust again. You pushing at her like this and getting upset will only keep her scared and mistrustful of you. She had 32 years of control and you are showing a controlling personality by trying to force her to open up to you. Not good. Love her and let her be. She has to get through this on her own.
    she is looking for answers herself and we both are looking for answers im not controling just we both decided to try what we could find out on line, thank you ,only time will tell.

    Time is what she needs and patience is what you need. Counseling may be a helpful alternative. She has 32 years of garbage to sort through before she can be healed enough to be open,giving and comfortable in a new relationship.

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