Christianity & Divorce

    I am a Christian and have been for a long time. I married my second husband in 2008 and since then, the marriage has been full of physical, mental and emmotional abuse. He deployed now and claims that he has changed (the same thing that he told me the last time that he came back from deployment). We separated after 6 months of marriage and then I gave it another try. He left for another deployment and then when he returned last April, we have had many physical altercations and it has not gotten any better. He has been unhappy, too. I have no internal love for him. He is now deployed again and he claims that he really loves me and is changing from the inside out. What do I do? I feel guilty for desiring to break my vows, but by the same token, I am totally miserable everyday that we are together. For you Christians out there, what would you do if you were in my shoes? Stay in the marriage to honor my vows even through the abuse and lack of love? Or, would you free yourself of all the pain? Please help! Desperate to find answers.

    +3  Views: 2206 Answers: 14 Posted: 12 years ago

    14 Answers

    I am glad you are reaching out to other people. I was in a abusive Marriage for 12 years. Leave while you can . Believe me, it does not get better, it only gets worst.
    Is your husband a christian, if not, the both of you may not share the same values concerning marriage. It may be sad to say, but, it seems as though you are unequally yoked together. Good luck with your decision.
    ed shank

    "Real" Christian men don't beat their wives. Could be he's suffering from PTSD. Killing and watching people being killed has got to do something to the mind.
    Get out of the relationship wilst you can.
    I somehow missed the abuse part. Unless he is willing to get counseling for his behavior, leave and don't look back.

    Break your vows or he'll break your neck.

    Cut your losses, baby.

    This is not about being a Christian or not.  It's about self preservation.

    If you don't leave now you may be in the "Kingdom of God" sooner than you expected.

    good advice, ed. :-)
    Read Romans 7:24,25 and be free.

    I read it, good advice. TU
    The best and smartest thing to do is Divorce yourself from christianity
    Chubby: to answer your question, my first husband put me away due to adultery. He was the adulterer and conceived a child with another woman. I was faithful to him. My second husband has developed relationships with other women however I do not know if they became sexual. But, abuse only gets worse. I am afraid that if he locks me in a room again or puts his hands on me again, I will find myself facing criminal charges. I read all the comments and I have trouble believing God would want me to live in a situation that is abusive. Or, expose my kids to any of the abuse.

    IamPamela: My husband is a Christian.
    Chubby: please tell me how Romans 7:11 applies to the situation.

    Ask yourself if you would take this abuse from a stranger. If the answer is no. then get out and go where you are SAFE. Attend a Domestic Violence group, they are easy to find. Contact a Hospital or a Reginal Court they will be able to find you help. Men who are abustive don't change, they get worse if anything. The Internet is a great source of information, use it. Look up Domestic Violence because there is a lot of information on the subject. You'll also realize that you are not alone and alot of other women have been through the exact same thing as you. Be careful, beware, be pro-active and be your own Woman. No woman deserves violence in her life - ever.

    Buy the book, "Love and Respect", and both of you read it. There are also seminars that work with the book. It has saved thousands of marriages. A good Christian counselor can help you work through the details.
    If your husband is a christian he should not be abusing you in any way he needs to repent also to apologise to you.There is no way I would be treated that way by a husband and I think if he cannot alter his behaviour you have grounds for divorce.with my body I thee worship it says in marraige service does not sound like he is sticking to that.Do not risk children being brought up in a bad enviroment.My dad has had lots of affairs and it made me very sad.
    When a certain parttern of events keep re-occuring,check with your other family members & relations whether there are similar events in their live.This could be an inhereted bondage which one needs to be delivered from.How are things between your Mums & Paps?Seek for spiritual help if the above is true.Jesus is the deliverer;the same Yestarday,Today & Forever.....

    That is no help at all. Change lives with her. Then see if your advice would work for you.

    I knew it was you.When are you going start helping pipo here?From most of your coments,I have never seen you give someone advice on what to do regarding their problems.From my christianty experience,I know that pipo inherit bondages such as,marrying & remarrying,committing suicid etc.which they can get delivered from by the power of the name of Jesus which you obviously know nothing about(I dont blame you though)So it was a suggestion which she can take or leave.And where is your beautiful suggestion which might possibly work out for her?I can't see it....!!!WHAT DO YOU KNOW ANYWAY?To you TEAM,whatever,you decide,may God be with you

    I give people a lot of advice. I just do not give them the flimsy Christian advice that does not work for today's living. I grew up a victim of abuse. I broke the cycle on my own by gaining self respect and without the aid of Jesus who does not float down from heaven to fix things for people. We fix things for ourselves. Teach people how to take responsibility for their own lives rather than just handing them a flimsy answer as in, look to Jesus to do it for you.

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