what to you do if your husband of 37 years has an affair and he doesn't even admit it

    and you discover this isn't his first affair.

    0  Views: 787 Answers: 6 Posted: 10 years ago

    6 Answers

    Well I guess you will have to decide if you can and will allow this type of behavior. You do know that we teach people how to treat us? If you think you can look past his infidelities and the relationship is worth it, then by all means work on it. I have to wonder if he regrets being caught more than actually doing it.If this isn't his first time then I'm supposing it won't be his last and if he isn't admitting to it then he will continue along thinking you are not going to do anything because as of yet you have not.I feel bad for you that you are in a marriage like this. Are you sexually active with him? Is he putting you at risk by cheating?It is you that has to decide if this is something you can work on and rebuild trust. I think living in an untrusting marriage is far worst hell than learning to live on your own for awhile.Being alone is not the nicest thing but let me remind you that you are a strong and capable of doing it on your own.There are plenty of fish in the sea at any age. It's time to decide how you will be treated and if he still can't tell the truth then he is not giving you the respect you should be demanding.It's all in your hands girlfriend...your not a victim know! What you do from this point shows exactly what you think of yourself.
    I would like to make this as simple as possible, sit down and have the difficult talk. Find out whether you both, or either one of you would like to work on the relationship or would you prefer to separate?

    I know this is going to piss some of you off but here it goes. Happy in a relationship people don't cheat. Something is not as it should have been. Your husband is a scoundrel no doubt, take a close look at what your relationship has been since his first infidelity, the two of you may have mistaken convenience for love. Every situation is different and there are so many issues to factor into whatever your decision is going to be. I can't imagine what I would do in your situation, 37 years is a lot of mileage. I wish you well.
    I think sanpan needs his/or her head seen to by a doctor" you seem to be putting the blame on the poor wife. Did she cheat"No so why" Woman are not slaves"that coward should be trying to make up to his wife if that lady was my sister he would be having no more affairs iwould kick his "balls in he should be packing his bags you picked a rotten apple dear i am wed to my Josie for fifty years "no affairs" kick him out and get on with your life there are nice men around bless you tam.
    What do you want to do?

    Forgive him, move on and be the est wife you couold possibly be and the affair will eventually end. The affair is sport. It is intimacy and sexual release. It is not a living partner, a security partner or a house mate. Strt plannng jun things like what a couple in an affair might do, like go away for the weekend to a romantic bed and breakfast, sex toys, Tease him with new clothes, look as marveous as you can and do not talk with him about losing weight. Find out his favorite fragrance and wear it at bedtime. YOu might have to have more sex for a while. Get away from the drudgery of manging a home together. Go get lessons on a sport that he likes to participate in like golf. It you could play golf and looked like a million bucks and kept your mouth shut while you're out there he'd be happy. Sometimes couples are at a defict of fun together when the giggles and joy take place. Greet him at the door and take good care of him. Remember, men re 7 year olds grown up who love thieer mommy. Eventually he'll feel guilty. I know of an affair that lasted 10 years and it turns out that the job the two people had was very stressful and kind of lonely. Fill in his time with things that he likes. My sister in law tells her husband. "I run your life! You can do this for me."

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