18 Answers

That's a good one Vinny, LOL!

Awww. That sounds very painful.

Nah, that thing can take a lot of abuse and misuse, hitting it with a hammer will just swell it up and make it bigger.. He'll be proud and happy.. :) Probably run right out to show it to his boyfriends.. LOL

really? are you joking?

Not joking. I'd rather not send photo-proof. A porn star told me and several others in the biz.

Way,way too much information there, Jenn ;-)

Lol.. I am Queen TMI!

make that sentence "you won't have to do a dam thing."

He is ‘obsessed’ with the size of his penis. He is terrified of it. So much so that he barely ever lets the issue enter his mind for fear of total life disruption.

Unless in a public toilet where all he does is look, in astonishment and envy, at other men’s dicks.

They, apparently, don’t mind him looking.

Every woman ‘knows’ this, ‘intuitively’, because he never discusses it with her.

Every other man in the world has a bigger dick.

That is, his is the smallest of 3.2 billion dicks, including those of little boys.

No wonder he refuses to think about it, let alone talk to her about it.

He makes sure his little penis is out of sight as much a possible. It is of such shamefully small proportion that he would be arrested if he showed it in public. Old ladies would faint; younger ones scream; dogs would howl and little girls need counseling for the next 35 years (at taxpayer expense).The law actually forbids it, as people would be traumatised.

She, charitably, cannot understand his ‘obsession’. She cares nothing for size.

“Size does not matter”, she says, nonchalantly. Why should she care?

Even despite the fact that HER man has the smallest, weenyist, most miniscule dick in the world, she doesn’t mind.

She loves him.

She thinks that penis augmentation is just a silly idea.

She could not imagine being so obsessed.

Besides. She has BREASTS.

And, she has bras, that have padding.

And gels.

And up-lifting under-wires.

Bras that lift, shape, separate, accentuate, minimize, maximize.

Push-up, plunge, contour, control, shape, flatten.

Increase cleavage, decorate, contrast, attract.

Give illusion of ‘cup of choice’, overflowing or otherwise.

And …..silicon gel inserts at $500 per breast, along with $7500 surgical interventions that generate $ 62.8b a year of Gross Domestic Product.

She can even get a special Surgical Loan from her health fund.

Then there’s the diet industry. $145 trillion. p/a !

Why should she be concerned ? Men and their obsession with size !!

She, even with ‘petite’ breasts, will get her kit off at the sound of a camera being cocked, but he won’t –

‘cause his dick’s TOO small.

Men ! Just ‘little boys’.

She wonders if ‘lovers’ have big ones.

somewhere you are published or you will be or you was at one time.

WTF was that???

I dunno Vinny. I don't read anything more than 2 inches long.