Has a family member or friend ever disowned you? Why can't some people seem to forgive?

    I have had it done to me, I was just,"In their eyes, on the wrong side of the argument." Why has family or friends disowned you?

    What do you think, does this hurt them more, or you?? Or does it hurt both of you? What can you do to stop this harmful behavior?

    +6  Views: 2131 Answers: 14 Posted: 9 years ago
    Tags: family friends

    14 Answers

    those that truely forgive also forget as well. true love keeps no record of ones wrong doings
    This question is touching on a fundamental topic in the field of human relationships, integrity, and self respect and that is self-worth and boundaries. One common understanding that most people can agree on is that we simply cannot change other people if they don’t want to change themselves. So, when someone who is continually offending and disrespecting you to the point where there is constant distrust, hate and resentment, it’s important to turn the spotlight off of them and onto you, move on.
    ole hipster

    Another really good answer IamPamela...thumbs up for you too!...Hey let me know if you get the TU as I've been having some trouble remembering who I TU'd and who I didn't (thus showing a thumbs down which is not the intent)...take care now (:

    Thanks! "OH" it's all good, have a great day :-)
    I miss being able to edit a question to bring it back up to the first page, that way everyone get's a chance to read it, now we have to keep answering our own questions to bring them back up...
    I've never been disowned, but I have permanently shut people out of my life forever, not family but acquaintances. Screw me once. shame on you screw me twice shame on me. The question states "Can't forgive", I can. I won't forgive. There has to be a consequence for bad behavior and alienation is the punishment.
    ole hipster

    Well put!....sort of how i've felt myself concerning some old friends I've had (: YIPES...just tried to give you a TU and hit thumbs down in error! am trying to figure out right now how to rectify same as soon as I can!)I guess I'll need to give you two TU's in further comments/answers to make it up...I am sorry!
    ed shank

    Don't sweat it. It's not a threat to Democracy.

    M.J., great answer as well, along with the rest I've seen...
    Ed, I have to admit I wasn't thinking of the way you thought of the question. I think when it comes to friends screwing you over big time, that is completely different. Family on the other hand is to me considered always family. If they do something terrible and admit their mistake and ask to be forgiven or apologize, then I will forgive them because they are family.

    Good answer ed, thumbs up.
    Yes I have been disowned and glad of it

    I forgave my ex at his deathbed and I feel free. All those years  before it was like carrying a 25 pound  sack of potatoes on my shoulders.Forgiving sets you free.

    Good question leeroy.

    I lost a number of 'friends' when I became a committed Christian almost 5 decades ago. It surprised me but did not bother me too much. I have been compensated dozens times over since.

    (Mark 10:29-31) . . .Jesus said: “Truly I say to YOU men, No one has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for my sake and for the sake of the good news 30 who will not get a hundredfold now in this period of time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and fields, with persecutions, and in the coming system of things everlasting life. 31 However, many that are first will be last, and the last first.”

    Today millions of real followers of Christ can testify to the truth of this statement.

    Hope this helps your search.


    Thanks Bestway, sounds like a grocery store name... Anyway you're right, I have lost some friends and made some great new friends as well. Thumbs up.

    I have never had to experience this. Sorry to those who have.

    Yes it has happened to me, at the age of 30, when i told my mom I was gay. She busted out and said.."you done it now, you are no longer my son".Several months later she started speaking to me, but never said she was sorry.Then 13 years later (age 43) i found out the man i always thought was my bio logic father (he raised me after mom n dad divorced)  was NOT my father. Neither mom or dad told  me, A very distant cousin told me.After my mom told n demanded i stop talking  about it and seeking who my bio logic father was , it will be 3 years Aug 22,2011 since she has spoken to me.Never has she given me any answers or even face to face talked to me.

    Why she dis owned me at age 30? well, She knew she was living a lie and was eating her up in side. so over all my life until then and now all she wanted to do is make me mad, cause an argument so big that i walk out of her life so she would never have to face her mistake.  The only mistake i think she made was....walking away from me now.

    Who does it hurt?... the entire family.

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