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    Men and children cant see

    Why is it that men an children can step over a mess and they really don't see it being there or that it is a problem?
    Let me say not all men or all children fall into this question.
    How can I help them see it without being a nag?

    +1  Views: 510 Answers: 10 Posted: 8 years ago
    Tags: mess
    ahelsel

    Jenn,


    Good question but I must tell you, I know girls and women do the same thing. What I find is that I have as much to learn about HOW to handle a situation as they do in correcting their errors. If it is your specific job to correct, make sure you do it while honoring the person and not personally attacking them. Hope this helps a bit!
    Austin
    www.smartwaymarketing.com

    10 Answers

    Zones of responsibility. My room was always a mess until I choose to change how I thought about the room. It was a rat hole...really. "Clean it up!" "Clean it up!" was often yelled to me as I opened the door. I would yell back... " But it's suppose to be a rat hole!" Tiring of this I decided to change my ways and do the apparently impossible task of inventory and organization. With my room, the problem has been an excess of ideas and a lack of time to complete any of them resulting in clutter on clutter in clutter...hence, nothing gets done. Then, sitting amid the heaps in quest of what to throw out were all of the reminders of the interesting little project I had started two years ago and never got around to completing. This could take a lifetime..."dinner's ready" she calls to me and I'm out of my self imposed prison of snafu. The correction of this calls for some reasoning. I went for moving the big stuff to the garage first. The motorcycle, drum set were hauled out first then I found my chainsaw hiding beside the dresser under a lamp shade. I had brought it in to sharpen the teeth on the chainsaw two years ago but was interrupted when the Rose Bowl came on and two of my buddies showed up to watch the game with a case of beer. .... Has anyone seen my truck keys?

    I looked, shame on me.
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I've noticed you have a really bad knack for looking when you're not supposed to Randy. Shame on you! hee-hee.
    Headless Man

    Had my eyes closed.....lol

    have u ever just pretended like you did not see it either? If yes, was it ever cleaned up by them?
    Whenever u do mention any mess to them, what do they say ?

    They see it. Just too lazy.

    Jenn

    I think I love you Jeff.

    Jeffs right imo. They don't care. Tell them no cleanup no dinner?

    Jenn

    Iswear I am not dumb. It happens all the time. But today my husband drove up for lunch and drove past 65 bials of pine straw in he usual parking place and had know idea it was there. I told him "papa" said hey. And he was like why was papa here. So I assume he was blind.

    Actually they so see it, but if you have been doing it for years they don't see it as something they should do. If you really want them to change then you have to change as well and stop picking up after them. My motto is if you made the mess then you clean it up. If we make the mess together then we both clean it up. Tell them we all live here and I am not responsible for everything and everybody. It does take a bit of patience but it does work eventually. Be prepared for resistance.

    Ask the children if you make a mess at school who cleans it up not the teacher. If the teacher assigns homework and they don't do it are there consequences. I bet there are. So enforce some consequences.
    As for you husband same thing. Does his boss clean up after him. If he's asked to do something can he just play stupid or step over it. I bet that wouldn't fly with his boss.

    Hey and I bet you work outside the home as well,and even if you don't you need to call some shots and set some rules. Again expect resistance in the beginning, but if you don't do it (and you can stand the mess) and they learn to do it you have taught them some life lessons about living in the real world. But again use baby steps and it will take some changing on everyone part. Good Luck!

    who mess is it?

    Well, men don't look at a mess the same way as we do. As for children, it depends upon what age they are. If the child is about 4yrs old, you can start by taking their hand. Then, work their hand to pick up each piece of mess. At the same time, tell them they are very good in picking it up. As for the bigger children, I have no cure. They know if they don't pick it up, mum will!
    Jenn

    LOL they are 15 and 11.... THey are doing beeter here lately. There is alot of tradgidy in our family at the moment.. everyone is pitching in to make things a little easier for everyone else.. Hubby is working 12 hrs a day 6 days a week to help pay for gas to visit my dad every few days and final expences.. Adn the kids are doing chores before I even have to ask.. They really are a wonderful family.
    eggplant

    Sorry about your tragedy. It's good if they are helping you now.

    I have the same problem...have gone on strike and let it grow, have nagged to the point I hate to hear my own voice, have put the pile on the kids beds finding it on the floor later, have put it in garbage bags and hidden it for weeks, so far I have realized that either I figure out the importance of it for myself and pick it up or drive myself and everyone else nuts...you pick!

    Jenn

    please... they can live in crap for all I care at this piont. My little space (my bathroom and the kitchen) is clean they are on thier own... However they can not do ANYTHING if there is a mess.

    mom

    I would like to agree but I have a salon in my home so living in crap outside of their own bedrooms and personal space,I have to deal with it

    i live with a duck, and you think you've got problems.



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