close
    Time for a joke..>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<..

     


    Bud, the Montana Cowboy  
    A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana  when suddenly a brand-new 2015 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" 
      
    Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"  
      
    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on  his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.  
     
    The young man then opens the digital photo  in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany      ...  
     
    Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then  accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.  
       
    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the  cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."  
      
    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.  
     
    He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.  

     
    Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I  can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"  
        
    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"  
     
    "You're a Congressman for the  U.S. Government", says Bud.  
     
    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"  
     
     "No  guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a  question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know sh*t about  how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a  herd of sheep.”  
     
    “Now give me back my dog.”  
        
    AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS AND


    THEY ARE SITTING ON BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE.

    +5  Views: 393 Answers: 3 Posted: 10 months ago

    3 Answers

    It's funny but also so true and so sad. Politicians are a 'special breed'. Every now and again there is an honest, hard working one but unfortunately they are too fearful to speak the truth openly, because they will lose their jobs. Something is wrong with our systems of government and those who keep voting the lying scoundrels back in, believing that "my personal situation will improve so I'll excuse what is obviously not good for the country in which I live"!   (Excuse my rant.)

    terryfossil 1

    Rant aside Quacker,did you get the joke..?????..>>>>>>><<<<<<<<..
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Yes, it's "a joke" that we, in Canada, are listening to all day, everyday. You're lucky you live so far away.

    Give me back my dog........That is funny.........

    terryfossil 1

    That's politcians for ya CB..>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<..

    ....please, vote

    mycatsmom

    for whom ?
    Benthere

    ....please, pray
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Trump mcm. Could there be a better choice? lol
    terryfossil 1

    Lying Hillary was the other choice guys..>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<..
    Ducky

    Moderator
    I'll ask for the fourth time Terry. Ever listen to Trump speeches? Do you have his full speeches available on TV in Australia? I think that is probably very unlikely. He just had a rally to wind up his group of supporters. Did you hear it? I did.
    Benthere

    ....are they available in Russia ?
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Yes Ben, they are! Putin laughs with delight. lol


    Top contributors in Jokes & Riddles category

     
    daren1
    Answers: 74 / Questions: 1
    Karma: 5760
     
    Benthere
    Answers: 8 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 5730
     
    ROMOS
    Answers: 52 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 5625
     
    jhharlan
    Answers: 65 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 5490
    > Top contributors chart

    Unanswered Questions

    443354
    questions
    713860
    answers
    557322
    users