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    Forrest Gump















    FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN












    The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.


    He is atthe Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed,


    and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.



    St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,


    it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must


    tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering


    an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to


    pass it before you can get into Heaven.'



    Forrest responds, 'It sure is


    good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance



    1. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.


    Life was a big enough test


    as it was.'



    St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I


    know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.




    First:


    What two days of the week


    begin with t he letter T?




    Second:


    How many seconds are there in a year?




    Third:


    What is God's first name?'



    Forrest leaves to think the questions



    1. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and


    says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,


    tell me your answers.'



    Forrest replied, 'Well, the


    first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?


    Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.'



    The Saint's eyes opened wide and


    he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do


    have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit


    for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.



    'How many seconds in a year?


    Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about


    that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'



    Astounded, St... Peter said, 'Twelve?


    Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name coul d you come up with twelve seconds


    in a year?'



    Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's


    got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '



    'Hold it,' interrupts St.Peter.


    'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,


    though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give


    you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.


    Can you tell me God's first name'?



    'Sure,' Forrest replied,


    'it's Andy.'



    'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated


    and frustrated St Peter.



    'Ok, I can understand how you


    came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the


    world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'



    'Shucks, that was the easiest


    one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song,


    ANDY WALKS WITH ME,


    ANDY TALKS WITH ME,


    ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'



    St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,


    and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'






    Lord, Give me a sense of humor


    Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,


    To get some humor out of life,


    And to pass it on to other folks





    +7  Views: 1913 Answers: 3 Posted: 8 years ago

    3 Answers

    I'll have to send this to my grandfather, he'll love it.

    terryfossil 1

    I am a grandfather, and i like it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    You sure his name was Andy,Terry bejesus,?????Terry,

    terryfossil 1

    I must be a bit slow Hec, i do not get your meaning mate,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    hector5559

    bejesus,is an old Irish saying when im am proplexed, I Think as my Dad was Irish,
    mycatsmom

    I've heard people say something scared the bejesus out of him.

    Cute. I read the book FORREST GUMP and the only thing it has in common with the movie is it’s name.  The book has Forrest and Jenny living together while he is a pro wrestler and Jenny doesn’t die. The whole book is a hoot (like your joke) and tho there is a buh buh the shrimp are farmed and not caught……… It’s worth a read………..

    terryfossil 1

    JH, i very rarely read books,my loss i guess,,,
    jhharlan

    FORREST GUMP is a very laugh out loud book……..


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