Forrest Gump


    The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.

    He is atthe Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed,

    and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

    St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,

    it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must

    tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering

    an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to

    pass it before you can get into Heaven.'

    Forrest responds, 'It sure is

    good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance

    1. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.

    Life was a big enough test

    as it was.'

    St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I

    know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.


    What two days of the week

    begin with t he letter T?


    How many seconds are there in a year?


    What is God's first name?'

    Forrest leaves to think the questions

    1. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and

    says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,

    tell me your answers.'

    Forrest replied, 'Well, the

    first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?

    Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.'

    The Saint's eyes opened wide and

    he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do

    have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit

    for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.

    'How many seconds in a year?

    Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about

    that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'

    Astounded, St... Peter said, 'Twelve?

    Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name coul d you come up with twelve seconds

    in a year?'

    Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's

    got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '

    'Hold it,' interrupts St.Peter.

    'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,

    though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give

    you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.

    Can you tell me God's first name'?

    'Sure,' Forrest replied,

    'it's Andy.'

    'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated

    and frustrated St Peter.

    'Ok, I can understand how you

    came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the

    world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'

    'Shucks, that was the easiest

    one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song,




    St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,

    and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'

    Lord, Give me a sense of humor

    Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,

    To get some humor out of life,

    And to pass it on to other folks

    +7  Views: 1898 Answers: 3 Posted: 8 years ago

    3 Answers

    I'll have to send this to my grandfather, he'll love it.

    terryfossil 1

    I am a grandfather, and i like it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    You sure his name was Andy,Terry bejesus,?????Terry,

    terryfossil 1

    I must be a bit slow Hec, i do not get your meaning mate,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    bejesus,is an old Irish saying when im am proplexed, I Think as my Dad was Irish,

    I've heard people say something scared the bejesus out of him.

    Cute. I read the book FORREST GUMP and the only thing it has in common with the movie is it’s name.  The book has Forrest and Jenny living together while he is a pro wrestler and Jenny doesn’t die. The whole book is a hoot (like your joke) and tho there is a buh buh the shrimp are farmed and not caught……… It’s worth a read………..

    terryfossil 1

    JH, i very rarely read books,my loss i guess,,,

    FORREST GUMP is a very laugh out loud book……..

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