Clonge
The Priest said, ''Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here
as long as you like, but you may not speak until directed to do so."
Sister Maryellen lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to
her, ''Sister Maryellen, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words.''
Sister Maryellen said, ''Hard bed.''
''I'm sorry to hear that,'' the Priest said, ''We will get you a better bed.''
After another 5 years, Sister Maryellen was summoned by the Priest.
''You may say another two words, Sister Maryellen.''
''Cold food,'' said Sister Maryellen, and the Priest assured her that the food
> > would be better in the future.
On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister
Maryellen in to his office.
''You may say two words today.''
''I quit,'' said Sister Maryellen.
''It's probably best,'' said the Priest, 'You've done nothing but complain since you got here.''
9 Answers
digger
The Texas Midget
A midget from Texas was experiencing constant pain in his crotch area. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
"Hmm..." mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again.
"Aha!" said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.
The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"
The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
The doctor replied "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
| 9 years ago. Rating: 14 | |
ROMOS
jhharlan
Bob/PKB
Waiting for his date to come downstairs, the young man sat nervously in the living room. Mom was knitting, Dad reading the paper. A spotted dog was at the young man's feet. A gas pain hit him hard and he wanted to relieve himself, but was so afraid the girls' parents would hear. He let a little go, as discreetly as he could. "Pffft Pfffft". Dad put down the paper, looked at the dog, and said, "SPOT!" Back to the paper; Mom never looked away from the knitting. Relieved to have gone undetected, and thrilled Dad thought it the dog, the young man let another bit fly. "Pffft Pffft Pffft", with the same result, Dad admonishing the pooch. Delighted now, the young man decided he'd just let the whole thing out, which he did with a long, satisfying 'PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT". Dad put down the paper and said in a rush, "Spot! Move quick, before he sh**s on you".
| 9 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
Tommyh
An old guy was sitting at the bus stop with his old dog just having a rest.
A young guy came along & sat down beside them.
The dog started to lick his privates (as dogs do) & seemed to be enjoying himself.
The young guy said "Boy,I wish I could do that".
The old guy replied "Well you can if you like,but I'd pat him first if I were You".
| 9 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
pythonlover
terryfossil 1
One sunday morning,the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque, it was covered with names and small american flags mounted on either side of it.The six year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly,"Good morning Alex ". "Good morning pastor" he replied,still focused on the plaque. "pastor what is this ? " The pastor said, "well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, "Which service, the 8:00 or the 10:30 ?"
| 9 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
nomdeplume
mycatsmom
