close
    adult son won't talk to me - what can i do ?

    +3  Views: 1524 Answers: 12 Posted: 10 years ago

    12 Answers

    Leave him alone, he'll get back to you eventually.

    mycatsmom

    He'll call when he wants money .

    You don't say what the reason is ,  but as a parent of two grown up son's I would leave him be for a while, he will need you before you need him. I used to work with both of my sons, and that was a recipe for disaster, we had a lot of fall outs. We get on much better now that we are not together so much, let him go his own way a bit more, it may help you to have a better relationship.

    Why not? There has to be a reason. Time will fix everything but examine your soul then his…….

    You may feel that you are unique in your situation but you are not! Many family members do not speak to each other. There are as many reasons as there are relatives and no one should point a finger, without having details. There could be any number of reasons that your son has "pulled away". It could in some way involve....drugs, alcohol, homosexuality, money, gambling, sex-change surgery, an affair, an embezzlement, job loss, a divorce, a physical illness, mental illness or none of these or something entirely different. Maybe you'll never know or be able to "do" anything. Sad but true.        :(

    Tommyh

    Sex change surgery? Really? Good grief Ducky! Where does your mind go? ROTFL
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Do you want to tell your father that next week you will be Tomasina?
    Tommyh

    Now that's a cleverly veiled threat.hahahaha!
    Does that mean I will also have a squeaky voice when I talk to Romos?
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Yeth!
    Tommyh

    Goodneth! I better be careful.

    I said "George, tell him exactly how you feel. Don't beat around the Bush." ""

    I'd like to hear both sides of the story. Your's and his... before I offer my expert advice.

    He must have a reason, be it valid or fabricated.  Spend some time going over the past interactions you've had and see if you can come up with a reason (again, valid or not) that would motivate him to not speak to you.  


    Maybe he's waiting to hear from you???

    itsmee

    Sometimes when I don't hear from my daughter I think, 'Oh no, what have I done to turn her away?' and then she calls or stops by. I am, by nature, a worrier. Of course I like your optimistic question at the end of your post. : )

    There is a lot of truth in the old nursery rhyme."Leave them alone & they'll come home,wagging their tails behind them."Be patient.

    itsmee

    Those are exactly the words that popped into my head.
    mycatsmom

    When they need money, they'll call. Or, if they need to borrow something, they'll come over.

    Seeker, yes as Romos says - leave him alone but make sure he knows you are there for him no pride necessary here. There must be a reason why this is - think about this too - he'll get back to you. Good Luck.

    Where have you been where he won't talk to you? Were you at a holiday dinner and he turned his back on you? Did you run into him in the grocery store and he turned his basket the opposite direction from the way you were going? Did he forget your birthday?  Did he not call you on Sunday as he usually does? How long has he been verbally absent from your life?


    It's really hard to even guess what's going on. I don't know enough about the situation. If he won't talk to you, you can talk to him. Call him.  Don't whine about his absence.Just call to say "Hello"

    When he needs money, he'll be calling you.  My g.friend's son quit talking to her for about 3 months. He finally called her and acted like nothing was wrong.

    Bob/PKB

    This answer doesn't seem to be very helpful to me. Cynical..
    mycatsmom

    You are cynical, PKB
    Bob/PKB

    On the contrary, I'm quite optimistic, yet realistic, and quite thankful for an abundance of blessings.
    I don't resort to name-calling or whining when someone plays a better verbal game than I.
    If you can defend your answer and skip the ineffective attempt to start an argument with me, by all means, sally forth.

    Give him a bit of space but not for long because you can lose him. Try analyzing yourself what could have gone wrong and fix that. I know it is painful but has to be dealt with including apology. He will turn around. You continue showing your motherly love.

    itsmee

    I like your optimism. : )


    Top contributors in Uncategorized category

     
    ROMOS
    Answers: 18061 / Questions: 154
    Karma: 1101K
     
    Colleen
    Answers: 47270 / Questions: 115
    Karma: 953K
     
    country bumpkin
    Answers: 11322 / Questions: 160
    Karma: 838K
     
    Benthere
    Answers: 2392 / Questions: 30
    Karma: 760K
    > Top contributors chart
    452889
    questions
    719945
    answers
    756776
    users