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    What Should I Do When All My Friends Hate Me , But I Don't Know Why ?

    +2  Views: 3203 Answers: 13 Posted: 7 years ago
    Tags: people

    13 Answers

    As I remember my daughter growing up with all of the preteen drama of the girls in her social circle, it will work itself out and is intended to help you to learn how to interact among society.  If the adults get involved, usually the parents end up with bad feelings between them long after the kids have sorted things out.  Everyone goes through this during their adolescence and it is your part of development into your character.  They do not hate you, maybe do not want to talk to you this week, that is all.  

     


    Have you asked them why they don't like you ? If they are friends they don't hate you,  If they hate you they are not friends.




     


     


     

    itsmee

    Oooooh, you take a risk when you ask someone why they don't like you. It puts you in kind of a hang dog posture (or something) Maybe a compliment would serve better like "I sure like that color on you, it brings out your eyes (Be sure she's not wearing red) I had someone compliment my shoes the other day. These were absolutely the worst shoes I own. They were flats and actually had a hole in the toe. After the "compliment" I really had to think about that.

    Hate is an awfully strong word.  And I doubt you are hated as you believe. All the same, you feel so. That's gotta hurt. Ask the most trusted if you imagination isn't getting away with you.............

    itsmee

    Julie, Again we kind of said the same thing. I hope Anith is feeling better.

    Everyone feels that way sometimes, even adults. Just keep doing the things that interest you and before you know it, your friends will be talking to you again or you'll have some new friends. I'm sorry that you are feeling sad, but it will get better soon.

    Sweetheart,  I am sure you are not hated by anyone, least of all your friends.  Obviously something has happened to cause distress and the only way forward is find out  what that is and deal with it. Do you have a member of the family or another friend who is mutual to help you approach these people. x

    maybe some girl is talking about you to make herself feel more important and more liked by your friends. I think this willl blow over. In the mean while, take up a new pastime, like guitar lessons or something. You'll make new friends, and look  positive in the eyes of your old ones.

    lindilou

    Now THAT'S solid good advice mycatsmom! ;)
    itsmee

    Absolutely agree with you, mcm.
    mycatsmom

    thanks, ladies. I don't get too much positive feedback.So , it feels good.And I hope I helped Anith. I remember that scenario in Jr. High, which they now call Middle School.

    They are missing out, Anith ,by not having you as a friend,

    itsmee

    : ) I think the same for Anith.
    Hector, Merry Christmas to you.
    lindilou

    Yes...Merry Christmas to you both...you are darlings...and oh yes..we musn't forget about William either...give Wills a big Christmas hug for me Hector5559! Love you too itsmee...have a wonderful winter holiday! xoxox LL
    hector5559

    Willian says all the best for the new year,and he said save him some turkey,give my love to Storm,To lindilu,and itsmee,xxx,
    lindilou

    ...we saved the best bits for Wills, Hector! The giblets and the greeblies and best of all...the Popes Nose! LOL xox aroooo!

    You need to stand in front of a mirror and ask that question.  Search your soul-- You might be surprised what that mirror image will tell you if you listen.   You know the answer, you must be strong enough to face the answer.


    Other than that, you're just paranoid, start smiling around them rather than looking shy and meek. Show them you are happy to see them.  

    itsmee

    I actually used your smiling method. Worked real good for me when I was entering highschool.

    i would bet this is imagination. It must make you feel terrible until it blows over. I think it would help you if you talked to a counselor. The people on akaQA like you but there’s just so much we can do. Do you think these “haters” are bullies? How long has this been going on?

    jhharlan

    good reply......

    Ask them why are there hate you


     

    Opinion against your actions seem correct to those who harbor that opinion, true or not. The opinion was spread by someone as an accusation to everyone who has that view. Did you do what you are accused of, or did the accuser distort facts? Since your friends cling to the accuasion and will not speak to you about it, preferring the witnessed account rather than being puzzled by contradiction. Your friends have the difficult task of mulling over what was told them as true, about a trusted friend. Their consideration of you has been compromised and it is most likely that you know who spread this tarnishing on your fame. How you handle this situation is an opportunity to raise or lower the consideration others have of you over a considerable range. Choose wisely. 

    hector5559

    I Thought the spanish inqusition stop some years ago,??
    robertgrist

    Spanish Inquisition, 3rd Degree, or mob justice all are personally abusive. harsh and unfair. It is why we have courts. But courts are plagued with problems also. "Do to others as you would have them do to you”, doesn’t seem to carry the importance of a first response to many as it should. With that in mind the first response to an assertion of wrong doing should be to ask the target of incrimination (who is your friend) what is going on that the critic should so accuse you. Then stand by your friend to apologize or otherwise remedy the situation amicable and on good terms. No one should have to cary a grudge.
    I am in just such a situation personally and patience is a virtue that allows me the luxury of waiting for my critic to learn by his own errors to stop fowling his own nest. Time is required and for him one lifetime may not be enough time to understand his situation. I can wait. Were he a blacksmith, I would say he doesn’t understand what a coal fire is for, preferring to work cold steel.
    itsmee

    Always interesting and some more esoteric than others. : )
    Hey robert, are you going to light a fire and have a special dinner for Christmas. I wish you a good holiday. You live in a lovely little town. I wish we could move there. We cannot. Nope.

    They are friends so they don't hate you. Perhaps they don't like certain things you maybe doing. since all of them cannot dislike you equally, warm up to one who is still closer friend and ask what is it that they don't like about you. They will turn around. Meantime you continue to be good to them.

    itsmee

    I think that's good. I also think she should reach out to others in chorus, band, chess club (no!) Swim team, volley ball, basket ball ... Some new friends will surely help.

    Vinny's suggestion is right in line with mine. Soul searching time. If you honestly can't find a reason for your friends to abandon you, it is time to cultivate new friends. Easier said than done but certainly not impossible. 



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