8 Answers

As stressful as it may seem at the moment, it is always helpful to remember it is all temporary. In time it will all pass, just like the seasons.

Your son doesn't want the two of you close?  Bobette, that's a little weird... My husband loves that his Mom, Aunt and I are close. 

You are a woman of great patience. 

Why???? would your son not want you to be close with his fiance? Good Lord! It's every man's dream to have the wife get along with his mother.My Mum (may she rest in peace) adored my wife & vice versa.I read these posts on this site & think to myself,Tommy boy, you're a lucky man.If I wasn't an atheist I would say I was blessed.Where does all of this family discord come from? It's got me buggered.

Sounds stressful. My step-daughter went thru something like this. Fortunatly for you, PKB, your working will keep your mind off things, and keep you from running into them all the time.  Many families are doing this - - - doubling up b/c of the economy and losing their job and /or their house.This used to be quite normal with the early immigrants in the late 1800s and early 1900s. And some of the more recent immigrants have 2---3  generations under one roof. I've worked with Phillapino (sp)  nurses that do this.

people drifting in and out sounds a bit soulless,and you need your own space.families can be a trial.you need to sort the money side of it out for all your peace of minds.

My second oldest daughter and my grandson came to live with me in 2000. My grandson was 8 yrs old at the time and is now  21 yrs. old and is in the navy. My daughter is still living with me and has a job with the school system . I was happy to have them both and everthing worked out fine. She also brought 3 cats and dog along. Altogether we had 5 cats and two dogs and it was a bit crowded. I set rules in my house and it worked out great.
But I also encountered things that I tried to change and had to give up on that,when I realized that they are responsible for theire own actions and not me.
I am just curious why your youngest son does not want you to close to his girlfriend.
You are a good mother. Times are bad and many adult children are moving back home.
Its the norm these days. You have to set rules, but you cant live theire lives, for they eventually will find theire own. . God bless you.

Do the two boys get along? That's a plus, you don't have to be a "middle man" in all this. It could be worse.... Just hang tough, friend, changes always occur.....

Sounds like you just have to carry on being the caring mum that you are, and fit in with what they want. We have our youngest son at home again at the moment, well he's been here since Christmas. i get a bit annoyed when my wife waits on him and fusses around him , but that's what you mums do,my mum was the same , trouble is sons don't appreciate their mums until they don't have them anymore. Just carry on being the great mum that you are, you know what you have done for them and you shoiuld feel good about that. God bless you Bob