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Exclusive vs. Inclusive Lifestyle

The need and desire to belong and feel special begins early in life. When raised in an environment of love and acceptance, more often than not, a child will develop into a secure and confident adult. When there is unconditional love and acceptance; it will move outside of the family unit and into the outside world. This provides a healthy atmosphere for an inclusive lifestyle. An Inclusive way of life is vital for a flourishing family, business, organization, church, community and world. Without an inclusive spirit, cliques, gangs, prejudice, bullying as well as superior attitudes prevail. All of these are destructive as well as hurtful. How many of us can attest to the pain when remembering times in our life that we were purposefully excluded, left out, or alone? I can still recall the shame I felt in first grade when excluded from the popular girl’s clique because I didn’t wear the right clothes to belong.
Inclusives are accepting and open to new friendships and are not fearful to open up and share their lives. They are good communicators, able to express feelings and want intimacy expressed in words as well as actions. They have fewer trust issues and are less likely to be co dependant. Inclusive people raise inclusive children for the most part; freeing them to enjoy others who reside outside of their familiar world. Families, schools, teams and churches in particular need an inclusive atmosphere to grow. Without an inclusive attitude a family or Nation will become prideful, selfish and will produce uncaring, loveless offspring. Who wants to live in a family or world like that? Love and acceptance is vital for either to thrive.
Exclusives are generally rigid rule keepers. Rules are unique and adhered to within the exclusive group. In any exclusive group there is always a godfather type who enforces these rules for belonging. In a family it can be a grandparent, father or mother. The rules can be as simple as, no one gets in, except through birth or marriage and often not even marriage is accepted as a way into the family unless the god father figure has chosen or sanctioned the choice. If the excluded partner is a true inclusive they will began to create a world outside of the exclusive family unit to help balance what is lacking from their exclusive partner. An Inclusive must have some groups which are inclusive in nature to survive in the predominately exclusive family. Lonely exclusives are very attracted to warm inclusives, but once they have won them, the challenge to conform them into the exclusive group or family will began.
There are secrets, codes, inside jokes, whispering and demonstrations of outright rejection of anyone outside the exclusive family. These exclusives love being in cliques, gangs, private societies, member’s only clubs, fraternities and elite crowds. All inclusives are a threat to an exclusive person, especially the godfather of the group. This is particularly true if the inclusive is very warm and outgoing. This inclusive spirit is seen as a threat to their exclusive family unit or group, because the exclusive family/group is not held together through closeness and intimacy, but rather the atmosphere of superiority of belonging to that family or group.
Those belonging to the exclusive family/group are blind to their faults but extremely judgmental of those outside. Exclusives are generally under developed emotionally and struggle with intimacy. This is because their security is in belonging to the exclusive group without much effort; except to keep the rules. If an exclusive no longer wants to be under the rule of their godfather, they will generally move away to establish their own exclusive family so they can then become the godfather. However they will always remain part of the larger exclusive family or group throughout life from a distance believing loyalty to the exclusive group is ultimately supreme.
Exclusive attitudes hurt individuals, families, schools, churches and communities and in the end our world at large. Any security these exclusive groups offer is false and short lived. Open hearts and arms are needed for our world to continue to exist. History proves the need for love, unselfishness and acceptance of others. Societies that promoted exclusivity and selfishness ended up ruled by a dictator, tyrant or were lost altogether.
We grow larger in heart and success when we are generous with our love. If you are in an exclusive family or group, break free today. Start inviting others into your life, and stop being controlled by any and all exclusive groups. It can stop with you! Your family, community, school, business, church and world need you to break the rules of exclusive living and allow love and acceptance to rule in their place. Join the inclusive’s for a better world tomorrow.

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