what is the best way in your opinion to comfort a woman?

    a long term girlfriend, a wife, a lady friend, how would you like to be approched to show that your man loves you, he wants to help you, and to show intrest in the conflict. Examples : a death of a loved one. mother, or a grandmother.  again i want womens suggestions, hints and or ideas not MENS no offense.

    0  Views: 1293 Answers: 5 Posted: 11 years ago
    Tags: women

    5 Answers

     Heres a start to a long list of answers.

    We are complicated creatures,, Most of us require physical contact ,sexually , emotionally etc. The way you touch us tells us your perception of where you stand with us. Contrary to what most men believe , we aren’t coming to you for the answer .If we do we will say “ What am I suppose to do” ? or “ I don’t know how I’m ………” that’s a clue we are searching for a solution . for the most part everything else is emotional support.
    Read our body language it really tells you what to do.
    If we sit down put our heads down or in our hands by you ,in front of you ,next to you don't stand over us. SIT NEXT or BYt us. It also usually means we want to be held or hugged or in need of some physical attention. But because we are complicated I suggest putting one hand on a shoulder in a loving way (if she doesnt flinch away proceed) at the same moment ask her " are you ok?" or "anything I can do? ". This tells her that you are paying attention and her concerns are yours, and that she’s not alone in this. She doesn’t need to be crying to want you to hold her. We sometimes just want you to wrap your arms around us for a few minutes because it feels safe and comfortable and for me, makes me feel like there’s stability even if its only for a minute in my unstable day.
    If she is standing, it’s a little harder to read. But.. if she hasn’t come close to you (and theres no obstacles in the way or your doing something) ask the same question while extending one or both hands out a little as to say “Need a hug?” or I’m here for you . and please it looks silly if your standing there with your head tilted to one side and both arms are straight out with your fingers wiggling like we are 2 years old is not .(that may work when we’re mad to cheer us up though )
    If she keeps her distance or turns around don’t take it personal. Like men we also require some space when we are upset.. But ASK HER “ you need some space or you need a few minutes? If she says yes then let her know you are there if she needs you .
    DO NOT I repeat DO NOT play devils advocate or argue the other side. That side is was has us pissed off to start with. You don’t have to agree with us but knowing you understand we see things differently
    Helps us get through it. You don’t have to justify our perspective just validate it. 

    Of course if she comes in or you come in and she starts to rant and rave ,,, STEP BACK... and let her vent . Dont walk away she just wants someone to listen to her. Everyone needs to vent . Its not always aimed at you so just be a sounding board and usually she will calm down and even rationalize the situation, come up with her own answers and then be fine.

    Tips here>>

    More advice here>>>

    You go with your feelings and just express to

    her that you understand that she is feeling a 

    lot of pain right now.  Then you take your cue

    from how she responds. Part of human nature

    is to earn how to pick up signals from the other 

    person, be they verbal or physical. You learn to 

    read a persons eyes, face, body language, to

    see what they need from you. Full eye contact with

    you means the person is fully engaged and is responsive

    to you, looking away may mean they want you to keep

    your distance etc. There have been books and reams of 

    articles written on this subject. I find the subject fascinating.

    In my experience, every woman is different. The easiest answer is...ask her. "What can I do?", and "What do you need?" are good starts usually, but most of the time they just want someone to listen. Depending on your relationship (whether it is romantic or otherwise), physical comfort may be in order, but some women won't want to be touched. Some don't even want to be listened to. Unfortunately the only way to find out conclusively is to ask.

    Pray I'm right,



    P.S. - Needed to edit my answer because I am a man. Unfortunately, a man who experiences this in his life more than most...or maybe that makes me fortunate. Sorry if this is not helpful. Had to leave my experience up for you. Thanks.

    Make a good compliment on her shoes.

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