Bob/PKB
My sister and I haven't spoken for nearly a year for a number of reasons. I've blocked her from calling or texting me because she's harassed me so much and don't say anything about her. My mom was admitted to the hospital yesterday with pneumonia, congestive heart failure, arterial fibrilation, and high blood pressure. My mother said not to call my sister, so I didn't.
This evening, an email from "FACEBOOK" lead me to the following comment my sister posted there:
just heard that my 93 year old mother was hospitalized yesterday with pneumonia. My sister wanted to make sure I didn't hear about it or know where she is so I wouldn't be able to visit. No wonder no one has been answering the phone yesterday or this morning at my mom's house.
Needless to say, she received several sympathetic comments from know-nothings. I responded, truthfully, that my mom and I thought she and her husband were on vacation in Hawaii and didn't want to spoil their trip. I also singled out the people who jumped to a conclusion and suggested they were a little quick to condemn.
Would any of you defend yourself against this kind of defamation, or would you just let it slide. The thing that does bother me is how so many people think she is such a sweetheart... not a clue about how ugly and hateful she is to my mother and me.
17 Answers
Ducky
Best answer!
It is so difficult to keep quiet and not defend yourself, when you are being trashed by someone, and you know that others are believing it. We had/have one of those, in our family. When my parents were sick and dying (both at the same time), we had our hands full but dear "uncle" felt that he knew best. He was not allowed to get information from doctors or nurses (as instructed by my father) but still, he had all the answers. He spread lots of misinformation among our family members which was believed, making us "the enemy"! Over the years, I have never believed much of what I heard from him and I only hope that at least some, are also aware that "uncle" is a very vicious gossip. I've kept quiet knowing that his nasty ways will one day come right back to him and I hope, Bob, that you can do the same. You'll feel better in the long run.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
Ann
I am sorry to hear about your Mom. About your sister, you schould let it go. She is angry about not beeing informed about your Mom beeing hospitalized. Regardless of your relationship with her, she does have the right to know about her mothers condition. Maybe you schould have a talk with her,about what caused the problem between you and your sister in the first place.
Resentment is poison that will only get worst if you let it go on. I hope your Mom will get better.I will pray for her. May God bless you and your family. xo/
| 11 years ago. Rating: 19 | |
hector5559
bustieone
Facebook has been responsible for more trouble, anyone can "say what they think", or type and that send button has no filter! Once it is gone, it's too late! Most people with rage develop a "poison pen" and little thought of the ramifications is given. At least on paper, you would read the end product and you would be more apt to edit, and maybe even throw it away, having felt a bit better having just written those thoughts. I hate Facebook, and refuse to get involved with it. With my old fashioned method, I have thrown away a lot of messages on paper. Most of the time I have been glad that I did, in hindsight, it is very therapeutic, I think.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 15 | |
nomdeplume
A friend's 93 year old mother has just died and the situation with her siblings sounds identical to yours. This is a very trying time for all, and families that have hung together often fall apart when aged parents die. I hope your mother makes a recovery, but if the worst happens, remember this above all else - 'Beware of your Siblings'.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 15 | |
Shootah
I think I would correct the facts, and leave it at that. I wouldn't let ,yourself get dragged into an online war of words. Especially not on facebook...far too public, and too much chance of outsiders getting there nose into your business.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 13 | |
doolittle
Hey Bob,
Just avoid facebook for a few days. What your sister is doing is painful and highly inflammatory but, in the end, not as important as taking care of your mom.
It might be time for your mom to talk to your sister- your mom has complicated the situation by placing you in the middle.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
Sister sent me a snotty email. I deleted it. I have almost bitten through my tongue, but I'd rather do that than stoop to her level.
Reading these comments reminds me of a quotation:
'' The family, the most grotesque social unit ever conceived '.
I believe it was coined by Auberon Waugh, but if Umbriel reads this I am sure he will elucidate.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
I’d read the book. I’ve heard the quote before but just lately I’ve truly come to understand it.
Thank you, nondeplume
clu
Sorry to hear about your Mom! I hope she will stabilize and be comfortable! Ignore your sister! She just wants to be the center of attraction! Don't look at facebook. Just help Mom be comfy and take care of yourself! You have way too many troubles for a young woman!
| 11 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
ed shank
I also have a similar situation currently with one of my brothers. Refreshing to see so many non-hostile people willing to ignore or forgive. I am not one of them. My brother lives 1,500 miles away, lucky for him. The lord will punish him one day, but I'm getting a piece of his a** first.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
lindilou
Bobby girl this is tough...sometimes we get stuck with the most wretched people in life...gads that one sister o' mine lemme tell ya...but I won't. Sometimes it's best to avoid doing anything...however, given hindsight here I think you handled this graciously and with solid demeanor...given that...let her suck rocks! (Oy! Did I say that out loud Bob?) (LOL) ;)
| 11 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
lambshank
itsmee
I'm sorry Bob/PKB
Some famous author wrote "Hell is other people." (That came to mind.)
I think FB causes a lot of problems, hurt feelings, and anger.
I'm outta there. Good luck.
I do miss you.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
mycatsmom
I'm confused about who wrote the F B entry......was it you or your sister ? At any rate, when you're dealing with a 93 yr. old mother who's about to die, the time not to communicate with your siblings should be put aside. I've been down that path with my late mother and my brother.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
facebook
Take it for what it worst, never fight fire with fire , or two wrong don't make it right bc, life is too short for these childish issue,You need to focus on you mum health first shurely you can put your difference asside until your mon recover and feeling better, don;t let negative steal you away from your mom love.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Kaasumies
Hei,
otan osaa kansasi miten voi olla joskus vaikeaa
oman perheen kanssa.
Mutta aina on nähtävä uuteen päivään se jokin on vielä edessä.
tv. Reijo H.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
"Hello,
I'll be part of how people can sometimes be difficult to
your family.
But it is always seen as one of a new day, it is still to come.
TV. Reijo H."
witchway
