found out wife was having sex other men while i worked for over 20 years.Should I have known sooner ? Why would she do this and then say she loves me??question_title=found out wife was having sex other men while i worked for over 20 years.Should I have known sooner ? Why would she do this and then say she loves me?

    +4  Views: 480 Answers: 4 Posted: 11 years ago

    4 Answers

    I know it is cold comfort but this happens in many

    relationships, to wives as well as husbands. As

    Clonge said so well, don't beat yourself up. In a way,

    it is good that you finally found out. Now you have some

    very tough decisions to make. Please take care of yourself

    during this very tough period. You will get through it, though

    the pain must seem immeasurable to you at the moment.


    Nicely double-spacedly said

    Only your wife can tell you why. Should you have known sooner? Were there telltale signs that she was doing this? What, an extra toothbrush in the bathroom (if she was doing it at home)? Do you have a child who looks like the t.v. repairman and not you? Don't beat yourself over the head. Plenty of men work 9 to 5 and leave their wives at home, not even dreaming of this. The guilt is on her. Nothing that you did or didn't do justifies her behavior.


    Amen to that!

    Sex doesn't equal love for one thing. Only your wife can tell you what has really been going on between you two.  If you want to keep her than may I suggest counseling for the both of you?

    wow im sure your heart is  broken   but think about what god say about this and do you love her  and do you want to forgive her like god forgive us  only you can know the the way it will be i cant   tell you why. Should you stay are go but  over 20years married is a long time just ask her way  maybe she will just set down with you and tell  you the store  if you ask her  in a nice way  i hope i was some help  god bless god is good all the time . take care  i hope for the best for you 


    God would want better than this for him I think. He can forgive her if he wants but he should leave her sorry butt and find someone who can love him as God intends for all of us to be loved. Religion is not always correct in these matters of the heart. Religion has forgotten the heart and speaks from a cold place and has a way of blaming the cold callousness of it's words on God, in my opinion.

    Since you feel your advice for him is good advice, how about you use it for your own marriage woes. Forgive your husband for being distant and just accept your marriage the way it is now, even though you are not happy in it and do not complain. Do you believe God wants you miserable in your marriage? I think you do not, otherwise you wouldn't have come to us for answers. I do not believe God wants Western miserable either. I see no reason for him to be nice to her. Why should he have to suffer the stories of all her trysts. No, your advice is not good advice. You seem to forget he has feelings.

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