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    i want to die,,i lost someone i love,,how can i do and live

    +2  Views: 1007 Answers: 14 Posted: 5 years ago
    millie111

    Am not sure if you have split up from someone or someone close to you has died???(forgive me if that`s an insensitive question)!
    vicky.chiang.393

    who will be let me very upset,, it will be someone very spacial! to me

    14 Answers

    Think of your family and the pain it will cause them if they lose you.


    Talk to family, a friend or call a crisis line to get the help you need.


    Please take care of yourself.

    Vicky, right now the pain is unbearable but it will subside.  Look for an agency which provides grief counselling.  They can help you get through this difficult time.  They have had the same horrible feelings and they know how to help you.

    You are reaching out now! Keep doing that . Time will ease your pain,it takes time! Blessings to you!  Sorry for your loss!

    If your idea is that you kill yourself from grief, then it's a wrong choice. After death, you would not be reunited with your loved one. You would not see them at all and you would still miss them. Death is no solution. You're not alone in this pain. Millions of people know the pain you feel and have lived through it and in time their life became better, the pain subsided and they allowed themselves to be happy again. You can survive this. For now, go through the grief as you must do. Turn to family and friends. They will be your support.


    I'm sorry for your loss.


    I found this online:


     Grief is experienced whenever you lose something important to you. Grief is so powerful that people sometimes look for ways to go around it rather than experience it. This approach will not work. The best thing you can do for yourself is to work through grief and express your feelings. The following are specific ways to help yourself work through grief


    .
    BASIC HEALTH CONCERNS -


    Grief is exhausting and it is important to continue your daily health routines.
    Try to eat regular, nourishing meals. If it is too difficult to eat three regular meals, try 4 or 5 small ones. Have nourishing food available to nibble on rather than chips and candy.
    Rest is important. Try to develop regular bedtime routines. If you are having a hard time getting to sleep, try a glass of warm milk or some soft easy listening music to sooth your thoughts.
    Continue your exercise program and develop a manageable routine.
    Meditation, perhaps in the form of prayer or yoga, can help you get the rest you need.
    Make sure your family doctor knows what has happened so he or she can help monitor you health.



    OUTSIDE SUPPORT -


    Grief does not have to be as isolating as it seems.
    Look for a support group, lecture or seminar that pertains to your situation.
    Continue attending church services and stay in contact with this "family," if that has been a source of support to you.
    Let your friends and other family members know what your emotional or physical needs are. The more they know what to do to help you, the more available they will be.



    FEELINGS


    Read books or articles of the process of grief so you can identify what you are feeling and have some ideas on how to help yourself.


    Allow your feelings to be expressed appropriately.
    Crying is good. You feel lighter after you have had a good cry. Consider sharing your tears with other loved ones. We laugh together, why not cry together as well?
    Find friends or family members to share your feelings with.
    Be careful not to use alcohol, drugs, or tranquilizers. These will only mask the pain and could lead to problems.
    Keeping a journal is a good way to identify feelings and also to see progress.
    Holidays and anniversaries need special planning. They are impossible to ignore. Look for a workshop on dealing with the holidays and make plans with your family and friends.



    BE KIND TO YOURSELF



    If you desire some alone time, take it as often as you need to.
    Give yourself rewards along the way as something to look forward to.
    Look for small ways to pamper yourself, such as bubble baths, a new cologne, soft pajamas, or a new hair cut.
    A short trip can be a good break from grief, but be aware that upon your return, the pain of grief will be waiting for you. However, you will have had a rest and the knowledge that you can enjoy some things in life again.
    Look for some new interests, perhaps a new hobby or resuming an old one.
    Carry a special letter, poem, or quote with you to read when the going gets tough.
    Try to enjoy the good days and don't feel guilty for doing so.
    Reach out to help someone else.
    Learn to have patience with yourself. Remember, grief takes time.
    Know that you WILL get better and there WILL be a time when you can look forward to getting up in the morning and be glad you are alive. Source: http://www.americanhospice.org/articles-mainmenu-8/working-through-grief-mainmenu-13/86-helping-yourself-through-grief

    vicky.chiang.393

    i just can not without him,,its very to hold on,i do have bad feeling my self before he get trouble
    Colleen

    Moderator
    You can and will do it without him. I saw your other question about a bad marriage. Are you talking about your husband and your loss is that he left but is not dead?
    mycatsmom

    and read.... " How to Survive the Loss of a Love "

    Vicky, we all lose people we love. Your grief is unimaginable at this time, but we all have survived this bad time as well. The memories of that person will be with you for a very long time. Remember that every person we meet in this life is only with us for a short time and we should appreciate and love them for who and what they are. My sympathy to you, and may your pain not consume you from ever loving again. 

    At the risk of repeating myself, go pick up a copy of HOW TO SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LOVE and read it. It is very healing, will let you feel, and can be read usually in one night.......

    You asked about getting out of an unhappy marriage around six weeks ago. I'm going with the possibility that you have lost the love you had outside of the unhappy marriage?  


    My sincere sympathy goes to you. I do not know if your loss is due to a death or a breakup, but it doesn't matter when you feel you can not continue to live without this person. 
    I am here to tell you that you can, and should.  It is NOT going to be easy to begin with and there will be many times when you want to give up.  
    Call a suicide hot line, and don't put off making that call.  Let the person you talk to put you in touch with a grief counselor who can help you through the grief process.  Surround yourself with family and friends who will let you carry on indefinitely and be there to hold you up when you can't stand alone. 
    jhharlan recommended a book to me: Surviving the Loss of A Love" and it literally turned my life around.  I'd been dissolving for nearly a year and finally got the book.  It is an easy to read book,  very short chapters and poetry the says exactly what is in your heart. I didn't think the book was going to help me; not really; but I got it ($8) and started reading. 
    Within two days, I was feeling so much better, and I have not cried over that loss since. I may get a little blue, but the tears have dried up.
    You have friendly listening ears here.  Stay with us and keep us posted on your progress; let us know when you need some strength.
    God blesses you.  

    vicky.chiang.393

    i had unhappy marriage and then i meet who love me and care about me the man ,, and he take time come to visit me on the way,, he get trouble ,, i love him so much ,,i can not without him more them else!
    he get accident when he on way to airport hit by car he knew i was very unhappy,, so he come to visit me
    Bob/PKB

    Vicky, he sounds like he knew just what to say and do to make you feel loved and dependent on him. Being in an unhappy relationship often makes one easy prey for a predator. He loved and cared about you and took the time to visit you on the way (to???).
    Bob/PKB

    When my husband left, I got so bad I couldn't finish the cheap-o taco at Taco Bell. There were days I cried myself to sleep, which didn't last an hour because I would wake and start crying again. I lost about 30 pounds and people thought I was anorexic or bulimic. My kids ended up running over me like a tank, and got in all kinds of trouble. I even got arrested, which we will not talk about further.
    Big lesson learned here: Don't expect anybody to fulfill your life except yourself. Sounds like you (and I) took our identities from the man we were with instead of being ourselves. You are fortunate to be young enough to get your groove back. Be sad, but you seriously need to get a grip on yourself. You CAN live without him; it's just nicer with him there.
    Bob/PKB

    Time. sweetheart. Time.

    You do your time one day at a time...there are so many things yet to do!! You may not see this yet but it is true. Everything changes all the time...adversity in life surely makes us stronger and this, whether you like it or not is going to help make you stronger. Distance yourself by going elsewhere if you can...do a house swap with someone for awhile...take a much needed vacation if you are able...plan other things! Do it! Do life! Go!  in Peace.

    I felt like you do many years ago. It was terrible. I asked a smart woman for help and she did help me. "It takes time to feel better. Give it time, baby." The days went by and much time rolled on and in TIME I did feel better. 
    I drew pictures every day. That helped too.
    Be well.   

    itsmee

    You absolutely have to go to the doctor and tell him/her of your feelings. There are medicines that will help you through this very difficult time.
    vicky.chiang.393

    thank you,, but it wont work for me,, because he ready in my heart,, forever,time its not work through

    " You'll only start a "visious" cycle of (death) by doing something so "selfish" as to literally  want to die! " after you die, just suppose some "kin" of yours decides to do the same, because they felt they couldn't  live with out (YOU)? in thier life " (THINK)!!!! ABOUT IT. "

    vicky.chiang.393

    i didnt eat 2 days and didnt sleep at all,i just can not without him he always been with me and talk to me,now i didnt hear his voice,,i really miss,, noo ,because me,, he do best he can for me,, thats why im so,,,,,,just want to be him
    PANDA

    "I can only imagine the awful pain & sorrow that you are experiencing right now and no doubt for some time to come.But you (Must) go on with your life. I have no doubt in my heart that's what (HE) would have wanted from you." "Live Life For The Sake And Memory Of Him." "You are not alone." "(HE) will always be with you."

    Your pain is understood. Please call;


    1-877-990-8585


    ASIAN LIFENET HOTLINE


    Cantonese, Mandarin, Japanese and Korean are spoken.


     


     

    Just hang in there. Don't think about dying. It'll get better. I got my heart broken when I was in my 20s b/c my fiance' at the time backed out of marriage twice !  I found out in later years that he's sociopath, and that he never meant to marry me and that he never wanted kids. It was all a big lie to keep me from going away. He wasted my child bearing years. Now, he's 67, and he's never been married. He never moved out of his mother's house . Lived there till she died, then took the  house over.

    vicky.chiang.393

    i think if truth love they wont cheating each other,and always trust.that is he always to me and care for me.

    Yolo, You Only Live Once. Life is a mystery and adventour you never know whats gonna happen. You could find the ove of ur life tommorow. WHen someone dies celebrate you are putting urself in sarrow when you could be having fun death is heartbreaking but you gotta move on.

    thats what your loved one would have wanted..to live for both of you...so live it up.



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